CCGR
02-10-2003, 12:28 PM
The European Union commissioners have announced that
agreement has been reached to adopt English as the
preferred language for European communications, rather
than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government
conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a five-year phased
plan for what will be known as Euro-English (Euro for
short).
In the first year,"s" will be used instead of the soft
"c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news
with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with
"k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but
typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in
the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be
replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf"
20 per sent shorter. In the third year, publik
akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated
changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double
letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate
speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes
of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they
would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps
such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During
ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be
aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve al be speking German like
zey vunted in ze forst plas....
agreement has been reached to adopt English as the
preferred language for European communications, rather
than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government
conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a five-year phased
plan for what will be known as Euro-English (Euro for
short).
In the first year,"s" will be used instead of the soft
"c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news
with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with
"k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but
typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in
the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be
replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf"
20 per sent shorter. In the third year, publik
akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated
changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double
letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate
speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes
of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they
would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps
such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During
ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be
aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve al be speking German like
zey vunted in ze forst plas....