A book in progress...

[ChickenSoup]

CGALLIANCE.org/


Chapter 1
-----------------
SirThom scanned the room. It had been many days since a hacker had gotten into the main server room since to the security force was upgraded and Tek7 was put in charge, put you could never be too careful. If he missed any crucial details- a shadow lurking in a corner, a wraith-like form shifting its weight behind a supercomputer- he would risk losing the system. It wasn't an easy job, but he found it satisfying to plant one's foot onto the face of an assailant... which is what usually happened. Thom checked his Glock; it was fully loaded and ready for action.

Just as he turned to leave, he heard a faint dripping noise. Just one drip, as though there was a single drop of water leaking through the roof. He turned around and spotted a tiny wet spot on the floor.
"Interesting," he muttered. He knelt and examined it. If it had dropped there, it would have to have been coming from the rafter directly above him, as though sweat had dropped from the nose of a stealthy opponent.

Then the realization of what was happening hit him. He jumped backwards seconds before a cloaked figure weilding a switchblade slammed into the ground that he had previously been standing on. With practised speed, he raised his Glock and fired one shot into the back of the attacker. Laughing, the cloaked figure just spun around and threw the switchblade at him. SirThom twisted to the left, deftly dodging it and unloading his handgun into his opponent in one liquid movement. Again, nothing happened. Thom quickly pressed a button on the underside of one of the server monitors.
---------------------
Tek7 sat, bored, watching the camera screens monitoring the various twists and turns of the underground fortress. He snatched a bag of chips and began to munch a few while spinning his chair around distractedly. It was his form of entertainment on the slow days.

Suddenly, an alarm went off. Tek7 jumped out of his chair, almost falling over and dropping the bag of chips. He leaped to the interface for the camera system and brought up a bigger view of the room where the alarm had been set off. He saw SirThom unloading his prize Glock into a foe, with no effect. Kelvar, perhaps? Thought Tek. But no, Thom had his bullets hand-made and modified so that it somehow pierced through anything short of a tank or a five foot thick wall of concrete. Tek7's eyes grew wide as several more cloaked assailants entered the room.
"How did I not see them?!" yelled Tek in confusion. He grabbed a microphone from a drawer and yelled commands into it.
"ALERT! ALERT! HACKERS IN THE SERVER ROOM! COMMENCE LOCKDOWN!!" he yelled. He thought for a few seconds, and then pressed a large red button.
-------------
Dark Virtue looked up from the sonic mine he was programming. Around him lay various tools and weaponry somewhat Green Beret-esque.
"It's go time," he said with a wry grin.
----------

End of Chapter 1


yep, I'm making a story with everyone from CGA! If you want to be in it, PM me- I just threw in a few names to get the story started.

[tjguitarz]

Nice. I like how you described the movement and the attack. Looking forward to the next installment!

[ChickenSoup]

Thanks! *cracks knuckles*
------------------
Chapter 2

Maid Mirawyn was knitting in her living room when the call came in.
"Paul, CGA is in trouble!" she yelled, dropping her knitting gear and rushing to the garage. Dorkelf followed close behind.
"Honey..." she started, looking at what would be their mode of transportation.
"Er, sorry, Dea, but the GTO is in the shop, I'm afraid," he stammered. Maid looked dejected as she slid into the tiny Smart Car.
"If it makes you feel any better, this is the Roadster model..." Dorkelf tried to make up for the incompetence of the vehicle.
"Just get this golf cart from point A to point B," ordered Maid Mirawyn in a flat voice. Realising that 1. there was no point in arguing and 2. he was wasting time thinking of ways to convince her otherwise, Dorkelf humbly started the car. Several minutes later, they hit 60 miles per hour.
----------------

SirThom spun, delivered a powerful kick to the solar plexus of the nearest foe, and then somersaulted behind a server module.
"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" snickered one of the cloaked opponents. SirThom quickly reloaded his Glock and then rolled back out into the open.
"Did your boyfriend buy you that cape, Sinbad?" he taunted, unloading his gun once more. This time, one of the bullets hit the ear of the leader of the group. He cried out in pain and fell to the ground. Spotting an opprotunity, SirThom ran up and bashed the back of his neck with his pistol.
Success! thought Thom as the victim of the blow crumpled. But then, of course, were the six others he had to take care of. Best draw them away form the valuables, he thought, leaping over the heads of the group and running out into the hallway. The attackers took the bait and charged. Seconds later, SirThom heard Dark Virtue's gravelly baritone voice rumble out a single word.
"DROP!"
A moment after Thom dropped to the floor, an RPG whizzed by overhead.
Seconds later, the corridor lit up with a painfully bright light and the six cloaked men were blown off the face of the earth. Actually, they were under the earth, so they were more like the burning ingrown hair of the earth. ...either way, they were no more.

SirThom got to his feet.
"You are lucky the explosion didn't take place around the door to the server room, Dark. That room alone is more expensive than half of this fortress alone," he barked.
"Your welcome," replied Dark, who was smiling wryly.

Dark Virtue, Tek7, and SirThom met in one of the lounges a few hours later.
"How could someone have entered without setting off ANY of my alarms?" Tek7 thought aloud.
"Maybe they cut the power to them," suggested SirThom.
"I have a power grid overview in my security headquarters," replied Tek7. "They didn't turn off any power, at least not that I can see."
Dark Virtue spoke up.
"Well, they seem to be disposed of. Can we stop worrying now and just upgrade the system a little?"
A voice came from across the room, where Chicken Soup was slurping up a hearty bowl of Campbells.
"What if there's more? They may come back. They've done it once, they can do it again." He took a sip of chai tea. "I think we should seal any connections to the outside save for the main entrance."
"Even the lavatory cleanup tubes? That's disgusting. It would rot in the holding pipes," said Tek7 in a disgusted manner.
"Ah. Well, maybe not that."

Just then, Maid Mirawyn and Dorkelf raced across the room, panting.
"Sorry we're late. Did we miss anything?"
------------------
End of Chapter 2

[Bowser]

That is so hilarious Chicken.. that's for a great story! Keep 'em coming, I'm hooked!

[MaidMirawyn]

I'm continually amazed by your sense of humor and cleverness.

But I'm pretty sure that I didn't send you a PM...Oh well! Very funny.

[dorkelf]

Very creative and fun to read C$, keep 'em coming. But just to clear things up, I have never driven a golf cart at speeds more than, say, 50 miles per hour or so. And I don't own a GTO, although my father did when he was my age. :cool:

Paul

[ChickenSoup]

1. I just threw in a few non-pmed names to get it started and
2. Very creative and fun to read C$, keep 'em coming. But just to clear things up, I have never driven a golf cart at speeds more than, say, 50 miles per hour or so. And I don't own a GTO, although my father did when he was my age. :cool:

That adds to the humor :p

Who here has driven a smart car? They really DO look somewhat like golf carts, actually...

[ChickenSoup]

Chapter 3
------------------
Atown's fingers danced across his keyboard.
"BOOM HEADSHOT, MIDGET!! WELCOME TO A-TOWN!" he type-chatted as an unfortunate player was blown to kingdom come. His cell phone rang, and Atown signed off of Counter-Strike.
"Yo," he grunted into his phone/mp3 player.
"Atown?"
"Yes... who is this?"
"It's Thom. Is this a bad time?"
"I was pwning midgets..."
"Er, right. We need you at HQ."
"Just a sec."
Atown turned and grabbed a small gadget he had been working on for Tek7.
"Aight, I'll be there in half an hour," he replied.
"Make it twenty minutes," said the voice. There was a click as the phone on the other end was hung up.
"Noob," muttered Atown.
--------------------
Maid Mirawyn looked disdainfully at the Smart Car.
"Chicken Soup, are you SURE you can modify it?" she asked cautiously. "It's just not... feasible, it seems."
"I'm as sure as Cool Whip is a smooth, creamy sensation that will leave your taste buds wanting for more," replied Chicken Soup. Maid rolled her eyes.
"No more primetime commercials for you. Get to work, if you will."
Soup smirked and lugged a large, dented toolbox to the tiny piece of what could barely in good conscience be called an automobile. He took out a welding torch, a mask, and a Sneaky Pete.
"Just leave me to my work. I'll have her rip-roaring faster than you can say 'dioxyribonucleic acid'."
Maid left the room with a strange feeling of confusion, satisfaction, and indigestion.
---------------------
Atown pulled into a deserted clearing in a forested area with dirt roads. Atown wished someone would pave it; the dust ruined the work he had gone through washing it. He strode to what looked like a hollow tree and knocked on it three times. Of course, that was only to make it seem like it was what unlocked the entrance; the REAL way to get in was to simply press a button on a ring all CGA members had. Unfortunately, Atown's pursuer caught the lightning-fast movement of Atown's fingers on the ring.
"Got it," he whispered into a walkie-talkie.
----------------------
Inside, Atown was talking to SirThom.
"You wanted me?" he asked.
"What? Uh, no... no I didn't. Why?" replied a baffled SirThom.
----------------------
One might ask why whoever it was who wanted CGA taken down needed to know where the entrance was located when they had already been inside before. Well, in a nutshell, they come in through a different entrance and then found out that only the main entrance would be open from now on. How had they found this out?

There was a leak of information via a spy inside CGA's headquarters, that's how!!
----------------------
End of Chapter 3

I promise to have more actiony stuff, but I had to set up a storyline or else it would just go on and on with no plot

[ChickenSoup]

Still working on your character HCS :)

[tjguitarz]

Haha, no the evil hacker will be Vibro. He'll be equipped with a hammer and a bee bee gun and he'll run around shooting "windows." Heh...

[MaidMirawyn]

LOL You should talk your mom into giving you English class credit for this project!

[one2dredd]

I love IT!
Very Awesome C$!!!

[ChickenSoup]

do i get to be the evil head hacker?..<G>

The evil hacker who seems to have <G> at the end of every post and pm?

:p

[tjguitarz]

What's <G>?

[cc.slim]

Oh my so funny and better then the funny paper. Very well done. gots me wanting more!

[ChickenSoup]

No clue.

Sorry I haven't been able to post more, been busy all weekend and then forums downtime....

I've got a good idea on who's the traitor and all that, but for now I'll just humor MaidMirawyn
-----------------
ChickenSoup's head was bobbing to music as he finished up the paint job on MaidMirawyn's fomerly pathetic Smart Car. The little automobile had gone through quite the upgrade. He finished, stepped a feet feet back, took off his gas mask (don't want to breathe in those fumes!) and cast an imperial, scrutinizing glance over the car. It was brilliant. He took out his cell phone (in which he had put a cutting laser, among other useful gadgets) and pressed speed dial #4.
"Mirawyn? Yep, it's me. Your ride is done." ChickenSoup paused as MaidMirawyn asked when she could stop by and pick it up.
"Who said anything about YOU coming to the CAR? Nonsense, Maid. The CAR shall come to YOU!"
"Oh, you'll have someone drive it to my house??" questioned an excited MaidMirawyn.
"Something like that."
He hung up.

ChickenSoup hopped in and started the car. The inside lit up and the engine purred like a contented lion.
"Here we go!" he muttered. He pulled out of the garage and onto the road.
"Let's see how fast this baby can go." He pressed a button and what looked like a trunk in the back of the car opened up, revealing miniature jet engines (very miniature). The car computer piped up in a cool voice (British accent, of course, and female, although the latter could be changed according to the driver's preference).
"Select a destination," it questioned in a casual manner that sent a warm, fuzzy feeling into C$'s stomach.
"Residence of Dorkelf and MaidMirawyn," he ordered, noting the fact that the car had narrowed itself, making itself thinner and longer. Also, long wings had emerged from the bottom of the car and shifted upwards and clicked into place on the sides.
"Please make sure that the area is cleared before takeoff," suggested the computer.
"Yeah yeah, just get this baby airborne," snorted ChickenSoup. He was an impatient and an impetuous young man.
"Taking off in 5...4....3...2....1.... we have liftoff," observed the computer as the car/plane/sub/tank screamed off of the road and into the air.

A few minutes later, it touched back down a mile or two away from Mirawyn's house. ChickenSoup put it back into "Car Mode" and cruised slowly for the rest of the trip. He grinned and turned on the surround sound system, and for the next few minutes he sang (not a pretty thing) to "Catchafire (whoopsie daisy)" by tobyMac.

MaidMirawyn paused when she heard a dull, continuous thumping noise that made the windows vibrate. She turned off the television and took a peek outside. What she saw was her new car/plane/sub/tank thumping down the road, volume and bass cranked up as far as it could go (which, considering ChickenSoup's handiwork, was quite a lot). A second later it was in front of her house. ChickenSoup waved and rolled down the window as MaidMirawyn ran out with her ears covered so that her eardrums wouldn't burst from the sound.
"WHAT IS THIS??" She yelled. ChickenSoup politely turned off the music and replied,
"Your ride, madame," and turned on the hydraulics. Mirawyn stepped back in wonder as this beautiful automobile/plane/sub/tank rose a few feet off the ground and then sank back down.
"...the hydraulics weren't necessary, 'punk'," she protested. But really, she was incredibly happy. Of course, then she realised that a 14 year old was driving.
"WHAT THE- DO YOU EVEN HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE?!" she gasped.
"Is that a rhetorical question?" was all she heard. She was too shocked to hear his explanation. She was brought back into reality when an encycolpedia-sized book landed at her feet.
"There's the manual."
-------------
End of Chapter 4


Yeah, I figured I'd have a little fun :P

[[GFC#6]Suicidebomber]

What's <G>?

younguns..<G>

the <G> is grin..(remember IRC?..<G>)

[[GFC#6]Suicidebomber]

[EDIT - Snipped by Dorkelf]
MaidMirawyn paused when she heard a dull, continuous thumping noise that made the windows vibrate. She turned off the television and took a peek outside. What she saw was her new car/plane/sub/tank thumping down the road, volume and bass cranked up as far as it could go (which, considering ChickenSoup's handiwork, was quite a lot). A second later it was in front of her house. ChickenSoup waved and rolled down the window as MaidMirawyn ran out with her ears covered so that her eardrums wouldn't burst from the sound.
"WHAT IS THIS??" She yelled. ChickenSoup politely turned off the music and replied,
"Your ride, madame," and turned on the hydraulics. Mirawyn stepped back in wonder as this beautiful automobile/plane/sub/tank rose a few feet off the ground and then sank back down.
"...the hydraulics weren't necessary, 'punk'," she protested. But really, she was incredibly happy. Of course, then she realised that a 14 year old was driving.
"WHAT THE- DO YOU EVEN HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE?!" she gasped.
"Is that a rhetorical question?" was all she heard. She was too shocked to hear his explanation. She was brought back into reality when an encycolpedia-sized book landed at her feet.
"There's the manual."
-------------
End of Chapter 4


Yeah, I figured I'd have a little fun :P

ROFL ROFL ROFL!!!

[tjguitarz]

I've got to hand it to you ChickenSoup, I'm addicted. It's reminds me of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, sorta maybe kinda. Looking forward to the next chapter. Keep up the good work!

[ChickenSoup]

I try to add zany humor where applicable.

[[GFC#6]Suicidebomber]

Look at my avatar..need a zany villain?..<eg>

[ChickenSoup]

Erm... maybe... :p
--------------
Chapter 5

Dorkelf pulled into his driveway with the GTO (it was finally out of the shop!) and honked the customised "La Cucaracha" horn in greeting. He saw Maid Mirawyn look up from the powerful piece of machinery formerly known as a Smart Car (now it had "THE MAID MIRA-MOBILE" in chrome letters across the hood), shrug, and went back to cleaning the candy wrappers and Campbells cans left behind by a certain unnamed CGA member.
"Ummm... honey?" asked Dorkelf. "What happened to our Smart Car?"
"This," replied Maid, pressing a button. Instantly, it grew taller and wider, with armor plates appearing from out of nowhere, and a CROWS gunnery system appeared around the top.
"Like my ride? You can thank C$."
"I should have known."
----------------------
Hescominsoon (HCS) walked casually down a corridor of the CGA underground fortress. He took a peek into the server room, and, seeing no one in sight, slipped inside. He pressed a button on his watch, and within seconds the security camera monitoring the area shut down. He crept over to the main console, inserted a CD, and began copying and downloading vital information such as system passcodes, detailed maps of the interior and exterior that included mini-maps of where security cameras and the like where located and what area they covered, and all sorts of things a certain organization would love to get their hands on. He hummed a small tune while he waited. Within minutes, the download was complete- the CGA computers were among the world's best.

He left the room, reactivating the cameras as he went. He heard a voice as he sidled along a wall, a voice of someone who he knew should've been away on vacation.
"What are you doing?" asked WildBillKickoff, tossing a sonic grenade to himself as he approached.
"Just popping into the server room to make sure everything was all right. You know, with the hacker-scare and all."
"...you didn't do ANYTHING else?" asked a skeptical WBK.
"Of course not," snapped HCS. "Do you have anything better to do than to interrogate a very busy administrator?"
"Well, yes. But I don't think you had any business in there, legal or illeg-" WBK was cut off when HCS whipped around and tasered him. WBK, being a big fellow, was able to resist long enough to toss the sonic grenade in his hand, letting his jaw go slack as he did it. The grenade bounced off the floor and rolled to HCS's feet.
"Ah..." HCS had no time to think as it detonated with a mighty sound that, to him, felt like the very blood vessels in his body were about to burst as the sound waves pulsed through him. WBK was safe- his jaw was slack, not clenched as HCS's was, so his teeth remained untouched, and the auto-buffer earplugs he wore sealed his ears shut the moment the sound blasted through the hallway. However, HCS wasn't so safe- he could now hear nothing and his teeth shattered. WBK lapsed into unconsciousness from the taser and HCS fled, ears and mouth bleeding, from the scene and out of CGA's headquarters. Later, he would have his inner ear rebuilt and metal jaws and teeth surgically implanted into his head, but for now he was helpless. Unfortunately for CGA, though, he still made it out.

The traitor had been exposed!
--------------
End of Chapter 5

[one2dredd]

So awesome I am addicted to this story!

[ChickenSoup]

WBK is a hero! HCS is a traitorer! Atown pwns midgets! C$ pimps your ride!!

[Hescominsoon]

<thinks i am going to be turned into a cyborg or something>..<G>

[ChickenSoup]

Maybe... *laughs maniacally*

...but so far it's just your ears and your jaw/teeth. But you can blame WBK for that :p

[ChickenSoup]

Chapter 6

one2dredd took in a deep breath, let it out, and then rolled out from behind the wooden barricade, guns blazing. He laid down such heavy fire that hardly anyone risked poking their heads out to look for an opening.

But someone got lucky. He came from behind, where dredd wasn't looking. He raised his gun, aimed, and fired. A splatter of red shone from dredd's back.
"OUCH!!" yelled dredd. "These new paintballs HURT!" He spun and threw a paint grenade. In half a second, the assailant was blown off his feet, covered in paint.
"Ack! Pbthpth!" yelled the attacker, wiping his mask with his sleeve.
"Don't mess with the big boys, aka Ash," yelled dredd.

Yep, it seemed the training was going along just fine.
---------------
HCS clacked his metallic teeth together. At the speed of thought, he amplified his hearing to better sense his environment.
"Like your new head?" asked a very sarcastic surgeon.
"Perhaps you'd rather operate on yourself after I rip you open with the very teeth you made," growled HCS.
"Just pay me, Dr. Evil," snorted the surgeon. HCS glowered at him and stood. The surgeon sighed and took out a remote, tapping a few buttons. Instantly, HCS's head was filled with buzzing so intense it brought him to his knees.
"I always make sure my clients don't come back to haunt me. I just had to improvise on your little hearing aids," chuckled the surgeon, grinning.
"Just.... make it... stop!" sputtered HCS, sliding a suitcase filled with cash across the floor.
"Yes, sir!" was the reply. Instantly, it ended.

As soon as HCS left the building, he reached into his pocket and brought out a remote of his own. He glanced back at the building. He would not miss it. He pressed the only button on the remote's surface.

He whistled a merry tune as the building behind him as explosions rocked the tranquil spring evening. The charges in the suitcase detonated several times and the building imploded.
-------------
Darth Dapor was half asleep when the monitors in front of him went nuts. He gave out a yell and fell backwards in his chair, spilling Mountain Dew everywhere.
"Uh... RED ALERT! RED ALERT!" he yelled.

In his office, Tek7 was watching a security monitor with SirThom. It showed a confused Darth Dapor running around in circles, half slipping on all the Mountain Dew, and screaming his head off.
"I told you he wasn't the right kind of guy for the job," remarked Tek.
"Yeah, yeah," mumbled Thom. He brought up the intercom and spoke into it.
"Dapor? I suppose something went wrong?"
"AUGH! VOICES FROM EVERYWHERE! AUGH!!!!" he screamed.
"Dapor, it's me, Thom!"
"What?? Are you... in the other place?" replied Dapor, stopping in his tracks.
"Are you using the Force?" He asked.
SirThom sighed.
"Dapor, we've been through this six times. It's the intercom."
"Oh.... I see. I was really hoping it was something cooler, like the Force, or maybe even-"
"Just tell us what's wrong, will you please?"
"Uh... sure! It seems something detonated the Sinclair Bio-mechanical Research Facility and Operations Center in downtown Seattle... it's one of the buildings we've been monitoring. You know, since it's one of several places the traitor could've gotten bio-mechanical body parts. Man, just like in Star Wars..."
"Right. I'll let you go now. Okay?"
"Yessir! Oh, and you never told us exactly WHO it was that betrayed CGA..."
SirThom winced. He didn't want to dredge up that painful information. HCS had been a great friend and associate.
"...It was Hescominsoon." he replied.
"WHAT?!!? I JUST GAVE HIM MY MONITOR PASSWORD BECAUSE HE SAID HE FELT LIKE HELPING ME OUT WITH WORK!!!" Screamed a frantic Darth Dapor.
"Darth, we know. He already-" Sirthom was cut off by more screams as Dapor resumed running around in circles before slipping on the spilled soda, stumbling around, and walking into the door. He blinked a few times before he fell backwards onto the floor, unconscious. Tek7 just sat there with his eyes and jaw clenched shut, silent. SirThom was banging his head into the wall where a large dent was forming from repeated use.
-------------------
End of Chapter 6

[DarthDapor]

:D Thats funny!

[tjguitarz]

HCS + robotic hand = super sweet awesome evil MEGAMAN!

[ajmucha]

awesomeness...lol. when is the pyromaniac of ajmucha (aka DDX) going to get a slot? lol

[ChickenSoup]

HCS + robotic hand = super sweet awesome evil MEGAMAN!

Oh, by the end he'll have a bunch of bionic limbs and...

Well, you can find out for yourself when I write it. :cool:

[ChickenSoup]

Chapter 7
-----------------------
"....two hundred!" gasped ArchAngel. He had just finished his third set of push ups. He rolled over onto his back and wiped the sweat off of his forehead with the back of his hand. He grunted as he jumped to his feet, grabbing a water bottle and guzzling the last of it. He headed for the showers, stopping by every other mirror to flex.

After the somewhat refreshing shower (refreshing for the rest of CGA, anyway- the sweat smell was unbearable and Arch never used anti-perspirant), he trotted off down a hall to get to work. He slowed down as he saw Darth Dapor getting carried away on a stretcher. He watched sadly as Dapor moaned in pain.
"Poor guy ran into the door again, huh?" asked ArchAngel.
"Yep. Tek's going to talk to him about finding either a new job here or new medication," replied StarFire.
"I'd say both," muttered Arch as he turned left and headed into his office.

Ajmuncha was cleaning a dis-assembled flamethrower. Various incendiaries and metal canisters of thermite lay like flotsam and jetsam around the floor.
"Leaving this stuff everywhere all haphazardly has got to break at least three state laws and several international ones," observed Arch.
"I have a permit," was the mumbled reply.
"Well, put it away. It makes me nervous when I work. Half the pins on those grenades are practically falling out of place," he ordered.
"Makes it easier to toss on the fly. Besides, they're manly weapons. REAL men don't fight with guns; REAL men either burn everything or blow it to pieces. At least that's what my dad always said," stated ajmuncha.
"Your dad was convicted and put in jail three times."
"Well, he managed to get himself out of trouble."
"By blowing a hole in the wall and running out."
"Is there a point here, or are you just wasting my time?"
"Look, just put away your stupid firey weapons of death. I've got a system to re-program."

And that was the end of that.
-------------
HCS ran harder than he had in a long time. CGA had been tracking him and now he was dangerously close to getting caught. He raised a pistol, firing over his shoulder at his attackers. He recognized this one by his quirky, spastic nature. ChickenSoup was a weird kid, but a dangerous one. Along with C$ was Dark Virtue, who ran as if the M203 he carried in each hand and the RPG he had strapped across his back (along with two Beretta's on his belt) weighed nothing.
"FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!" Bellowed DV, raising one of the M203s and firing a grenade across the dark alley in which the pursuit was taking place. The grenade hit several feet behind and to HCS's left, leaving a huge hole in the wall and sending shrapnel everywhere. Luckily for HCS, nothing hit past the medium strength body armor he wore.
"You can't run forever, Hescominsoon!" yelled Soup, who stopped abruptly, kneeled, and raised the scope of his M82 to eye level. He aligned the crosshairs, took a breath, let it out, and fired. HCS knew C$'s catchphrase and was dodging and weaving left and right to avoid sniper fire, but it didn't save his lower left arm. One second, it was there; the next second, there was a pain unlike HCS had ever felt before as it sort of imploded and was torn off. He heard someone swear in German, and he had to smile for a moment as he thought of C$'s short temper with such things as missing a target almost completely. But he had not time for reminiscing over memories of what once was. He must escape capture and or being blown apart by the random ballistic grenades and RPGs that lit up the night sky. He reached the end of the alley and tossed a tear gas grenade behind him with his good (and only) hand and headed to the right. He heard coughing, sneezing, and distorted cries as the two victims staggered through the gas. He would have laughed had his arm not been hemorraging. Turning down yet another alley, he figured he had several minutes before his pursuers had recovered enough to give chase once more.

And then his hopes were crushed as a tank/Smart Car appeared at the end of the street, driven by none other than Maid Mirawyn.
--------------
End of Chapter 7

[ChickenSoup]

Chapter 8
-------------------
Maid Mirawyn loaded ammunition into the CROWS on top of her car/tank/sub/jet (currently "tank"). She gave a sad sigh as she saw her former role model standing before her, helpless before a .50 cal gunnery system. She noticed that his arm was bleeding. She then noted there was no arm, at least from the elbow up. And last but not least, she noticed ChickenSoup and Dark Virtue, tears and snot streaming down their faces, with heavy weapons aimed. She moved the .50 cal portion of the CROWS aside and manned (er, wo-manned) the modified rocket launcher. She activated the smart-missle, aimed, and fired.

A rocket streaked through the air. The sound of it rushing by made HCS think of a screaming woman. He glanced at the mini-tank and noticed that it WAS a screaming woman: MaidMirawyn was shouting something to the extent of "Hop in! Come on! Hurry! What are you waiting for?!" He blinked and thought for a moment before running up the front of the vehicle and dropping through the open portion of the top. Maid pressed a few buttons and within ten seconds the tank had become a jet. She glanced at his arm and grimaced, her face draining of color, but at least she didn't puke as HCS had assumed she would. She just pushed the throttle forward and activated the powerful engines and before he knew it they were in the air.
"Where is it you work? I assume they'll know how to take care of you," she asked, twisting a control stick to swerve out of the way of an incoming RPG.
---------------
C$ saw what was happening and his eyes grew wide.
"Dark, I think-" he stammered, but he felt himself being thrown to the side as Dark Virtue slammed into him, rolling out of the way of the rocket that hit the ground that they had just been standing on.
"Soup, shoot him!!" He yelled, loading an RPG into its launcher. C$ quickly picked up his M82 (lovingly named "the elephant gun" by C$ and most people who saw it) and sighted in HCS. He was about to shoot when HCS dropped inside the tank. Dark Virtue hastily misloaded the grenade and aimed. He pulled the trigger, but nothing happened. Cursing, he re-loaded it correcly. C$ was carefully watching the tank, which was now shrinking and elongating. Realizing what was about to happen, he grabbed a rectangular object from his belt and cocked his arm back in a throwing position. The tank (now jet) was revving its engine.
"DARK VIRTUE, HURRY!!" screamed C$, who was sidling off out of the way.
"I HAVE TO GET A GOOD SIGHT IN, YOU IDIOT! I'VE ONLY GOT ONE SHOT!!" shouted Dark. He aligned the sights and fired. The RPG went soaring down the street, but the jet twisted and swerved out of its way, narrowly missing it. C$, spotting the opprotunity, threw the object in his hand with all of his might. It latched onto the jet, which now blasted through the air not three feet above their heads, and unfolded, revealing a small panel with a revolving mini-satellite dish.
"Got 'em tracked," confirmed C$, wiping the snot and tears put there by tear gas from his face. He didn't hear what Dark said, something about shutting up because if C$ hadn't upgraded Maid's car in the first place this wouldn't be happening.
----------------
End of Chapter 8

[notashamed]

ewwwww a cliff hanger :D

[dorkelf]

"Got 'em tracked," confirmed C$, wiping the snot and tears put there by tear gas from his face. He didn't hear what Dark said, something about shutting up because if C$ hadn't upgraded Maid's car in the first place this wouldn't be happening.
----------------
End of Chapter 8

That snot funny. :D

Paul

[ChickenSoup]

HCS flexed his mechanical hand. Thankfully, there was no annoying buzzing or whirring of gears. He had been offered a pseudo-plastic skin/flesh covering for it, but he denied the offer, asking only for titanium plating. He walked along a long hallway towards a parking garage. He looked around and found the car he was looking for: MaidMirawyn's multi-use vehicle. He saw her fixing her hair or something in the rearview mirror and rolled his eyes. He strode past a large puddle of water and oil and stopped. He took a few steps back and looked at his reflection: a larger-than-usual jaw that shone with the cold flash of steel; a barely-noticable wire that came out of each ear and wound around behind his earlobes to tiny devices that amplified his hearing. His lower left arm, of course, was purely metal and looked threatening.
"I'm turning into a neo-Darth Vader," he muttered. He turned and cast a rueful glance at Maid.
"Hurry up and finish your hair so we can get out of here!" he yelled, jogging up to the car and hopping in.
------------------
"...in short, our mission was somewhat failed." finished ChickenSoup. He had been giving an overview of his foiled plot to SirThom. Dark Virtue was leaning against the frame of the door a few feet behind him.
"'Somewhat'?" snorted Dark. "You missed him and shot off his hand and gave Mirawyn the chance to betray us."
SirThom sat up straight in his chair, choking on the glass of water he had been sipping.
"She WHAT?!" he boomed, furious and frantic at the same time. C$ snapped his eyes shut and clenched his fists.
"Ah, yes, we were about to get to that. She sort of rescued Hescominsoon and shot us with a rocket." he managed. SirThom looked like he was about to fall out of his chair.
"Does Dorkelf know about this?" he asked slowly, not wanting to know the answer in case he had to be the one to tell him. Dark Virtue spoke up again.
"Not exactly. I sent him an email." SirThom looked up.
"What did the email say? You weren't blunt were you?"
He looked from Dark to Soup, studying their faces.
"He told him that his wife was a traitor and that I didn't help any by giving her a super-car thing with a rocket launcher and a jet engine," remarked C$ very sarcastically. Dark Virtue glowered at C$.
"I most certainly did not do such a thing," he barked.
"That was pretty much the extent! And for the last time, it's a car/jet/sub/tank!" replied C$, who was almost yelling. They both sopped when they heard a thump. Turning, they saw SirThom laying, passed out, on the floor.

[one2dredd]

Wow that was awesome! lol.

[ChickenSoup]

Now for Darth Dapor to redeem himself.
-------------------
Chapter 10

Darth Dapor was led to an empty room by one2dredd, the supervisor of all CGA's training.
"Darth, you have reflexes like nothing we've ever seen. Sometimes they get put out the wrong way and you turn hyper and run into things. But, we think we have found a... 'better' outlet for your energy," stated dredd.
"Better? I bet you think I'm just not good at monitoring things," mumbled Dapor.
"Nonsense. It's just that whilst you sit there and sip Mountain Dew throughout the day your nerves get a little frazzled," replied dredd. "Now, we're going to try something to test our little theory."
Dredd stepped back and touched a panel on the wall. Instantly, a hole opened and shot a tennis ball out at an incredible speed in the direction of Darth Dapor's abdomen. Dapor's eyes widened as it hit his stomach.
"Um, try deflecting it or something," suggested one2dredd.
"Right... let me... catch my breath..." gasped Dapor. A few moments later another tennis ball hit him in the head.
"Would you stop-" he started, being cut off by another tennis ball between the eyes. Now he was getting angry. He stood up straight.
"Dredd, don't make me get angry," he growled.
"Just what we need!" purred dredd, touching the panel again. This time, Dapor was ready. His fist flew out in half a second, striking the tennis ball so hard that it crumbled into dust and a pile of fuzz.
"Excellent!" cried dredd. This time, he pressed another panel, and three more holes in the walls opened up, one on each wall so that Dapor was surrounded.
"Can you handle this?" asked dredd cautiously. The only reply was an audible cracking of knuckles.
"Erm, right. Here we go!"
Instantly, tennis balls came flying from four directions, but Dapor was ready. He spun around, limbs flying, deflecting the balls as if they were nothing. This went on for several minutes and sweat started to bead on his brow. The last tennis ball came flying out and he caught it. He looked at it for a few seconds before squeezing it so hard it broke into several pieces.
"I think we've got you a new assignment," breathed one2dredd, who was in total awe of what had just happened.
--------------
End of Chapter 10

[one2dredd]

Nice! I am like Morpheous lol.

[[toj.cc]WildBillKickoff]

Meanwhile, WBK is still passed out somewhere...

[ChickenSoup]

Lol sorry about that, I seem to have forgotten about WBK. I hope someone finds him soon :p

[ChickenSoup]

trying to squeeze a Christmas-themed post in for the holidays folks :)

[Lazarus]

Well well well... :eek:

[ChickenSoup]

yes yes Lazarus I stole your idea. Sue me. Wait, you can't... you didn't publish or copyright it. HAW!

Well, you've all been waiting eagerly for the next installment, and here it is!
-----------------
Chapter 11

WBK awoke on the floor of a corridor. He looked around and noticed the remnants of his sonic grenade and trace of blood on the floor.
Why hasn't anyone gotten me out of here? he wondered.
[it seems we forgot, huh? :p]
He walked down the hall and turned right into the dining hall. Dorkelf sat dejectedly at a table next to Tek7, who was trying to cheer him up. WBK cast a glance over at Manyik's table, where the whole Rho/Kel clan was having breakfast.
"...and then the fork says, 'That's no soup spoon!' Ha ha, but seriously, folks..." Popcorn Boy was telling a hilarious joke, it seemed, for everyone at the table laughed. WBK tapped him on the shoulder.
"Oh, hi Bill. Where've you been? It's January 03, 2007! You missed the greatest party EVER! Chicken Soup had a root beer drinking contest against Atown and won after five hours. He had to use the bathroom on and off all night and missed the ball in Times Square drop!"
"Er, right. Why hasn't anyone been looking for me?"
"Ummm... want to hear another joke?"
---------------------
Darth Dapor stood in front of a man who had promised information pertaining to the whereabouts of HCS.
"Do you have the info?" he asked the man.
"Do you got the money?" asked the man.
"Do you got enough ebonics?" asked Dapor, rolling his eyes. "Yes, here you go. Two thousand dollars, all in twenties and fifties, as requested."
"Good... now listen closely!" the man hissed, leaning close to Dapor, who leaned in to listen. The man, instead of giving him the information, threw his fist into Darth Dapor's solar plexus, winding him.
"Sucker," he snickered. Dapor gasped for breath and struggled to his feet. He pulled out a modified and silenced Beretta pistol and promptly shot the fleeing man in the back of the knee. The man screamed and dropped the small suitcase of cash, clenching his wounded knee.
"You shouldn't do that," gasped Dapor, finally regaining some of his wind. "You should never do that to me. EVER."
The man stood on one foot and hurled a throwing knife in Dapor's direction. Bad mistake. Dapor held out his index and middler finger and caught the knife, by the blade, between them.
"You seemed to have misplaced this," yelled Dapor, hurling it back at the man.

To make a long and gruesome story short, Darth Dapor lost no money that day.
----------------
End of Chapter 11

I'll write more today, I know that's a bit of a short chapter

[Lazarus]

You forget that it is automatically copyrighted! Now I'll sue you into oblivion, pal.

Btw- nice chapter.

[ChickenSoup]

So I didn't write another chapter that day. Sue me. (Er, not really.)

Chapter 12

Chicken Soup's ATV roared down the forest path. His pump-action 12 gauge shotgun was on a sling across his back, and he was in full army camo. Two Beretta pistols were at his waist, and a dirk (a very long knife) was strapped to his right thigh. His helmet visor was slightly fogged and the front had several smashed bugs smeared across it. He was meeting with Maid Mirawyn, who promised to come quietly- after all, she had only wanted to prevent what she called "useless killing of a great man."
n00b, thought C$. He arrived at a huge, gnarled oak tree which supposedly was their meeting place. He left the ATV running and loaded five shells into his shotgun. He kept his helmet on, for he had been knocked on the head by unknown would-be assassins too long to do otherwise. He spun around at the sound of a voice.
"Hello there, Soup boy," greeted Maid Mirawyn, who wore body armor over every inch of her body and a Star Wars-esque helmet.
"Expecting more company?" he growled, placing the sight bead on his shotgun right at her torso.
"Afraid so, my dear. You always were a tricky one, after all. By the way, is my husband well?" she replied conversationally.
"He's an emotional wreck, you..." C$ was about to say more, but he felt that it would be best to not raise tempers any further than he had to.
"Oh. That is a shame," observed Maid wistfully. "I don't suppose you told him the news of my little, er, escapade in a decent manner?"
"Pfft. Ask Dark Virtue. For all I respect him, he sure can't write a letter explaining that one's wife just slapped CGA in the face, metaphorically of course."
"Ah. Well, I suppose you'll be escorting me, then?"
"Yes."
"See, that's what I cannot let you do. This was a trap to take you prisoner- in fact, I believe that the ambush is here now!" she exclaimed gleefully. He heard several leaves crunch and a twig snap and, cursing, he fired a load of buckshot at Maid Mirawyn. She was taken aback as she was flung backwards several feet. Chicken Soup whirled around to face the attackers, his shotgun at the ready. Three women and eight men faced him, all with an assault rifle of some sort. He grunted as the shotgun kicked his shoulder in recoil as he felled what appeared to be their leader. His eyes grew wide as they fired in return, and he rolled behind his ATV. Bullets pinged off the bulletproof metal as he slung his shotgun onto his back and pulled out a flashbang grenade. He pulled the pin and hurled it behind him, clenching his eyes shut and shoving his fingers into his ears. Even with his ears blocked, the sound of the grenade left them ringing as he rolled back into the open, Berettas drawn, and unloaded both. He reloaded them and sheathed them in the holsters, replacing them with his shotgun. However, there was no need. They were all dead. He heard a chuckle and whirled to see Maid Mirawyn limp towards him with a .44 revolver in her hands. Her body armor had protected her from the shot, but it was in tatters and was almost useless now where it was hit.
"You have done well, for a kid. What were you again? Twelve?" she goaded. Chicken Soup clenched his teeth and pumped the shotgun, the empty shell from the previous shot falling soundlessly to the ground.
"You always were a fighter. Oh well, what waste of talent!" she stated, firing. The bullet passed through Chicken Soup's middle, and from her view it looked like a giant invisible hand had shoved him. He lay motionless on the ground. She laughed mercilessly and limped over to him until she stood over him. Wincing from the pain in her ankle, she crouched and put her index and middle finger on his wrist, feeling for a pulse. She frowned as he moaned and frowned even more when he threw his fist into her stomach where the body armor was most damaged. She coughed in suprise and doubled over, attempting desperately to regain her breath. She felt another blow knock off her helmet and her red hair stood up in a way that said "Hello, I forgot to brush my hair this morning. Lookie! I have static!". C$ drew his foot-long dirk, placing the blade on her neck with just enough pressure that is was painful but didn't make her bleed.
"I believe you are coming with me," hissed Chicken Soup.

End of Chapter 12

[Lazarus]

Nice, but uh - ...isn't Maid Marawyn a mod?

[ChickenSoup]

not of this part of the forum!

[one2dredd]

Wow didn't know MM had it in her to be evil!

[ChickenSoup]

Wow didn't know MM had it in her to be evil!

Everyone has an evil side in MY stories :eek::p

[one2dredd]

he he. I dunno but in movies a lot of the time my favorite character is the bad guy.

[ChickenSoup]

Sorry guys I've been busy and have another story on CCGR.org *lol*
----------------
Chapter 12

Maid Mirawyn was bound in leather cords and titanium chains and led back to CGA. Chicken Soup escorted her to a dark room with a fireplace and then left to have his injuries tended to (including the bullet that miraculously didn't hit anything vital as it passed through his gut). She waited patiently for a while before one2dredd walked into the room and, cutting free her bound hands, had her stand against a wall with her arms spread. A moment later, steel braces slammed together from out of the walls. O2D sighed with resignation and extreme sadness as he pulled a metal rod out of the fireplace.
"It has to be done, Mirawyn," he informed her. Her eyes grew wide in horror and her chest heaved with fright as he pulled her right sleeve up to her elbow.
"I really am sorry," he mumbled, driving the brand, which said "t3h h4xx0rx!!" into her arm. She screamed in pain and dredd grimaced at the hissing of burning flesh. He lifted the brand and saw that the words were burned into her arm forever.
"Try not to hyperventilate," he muttered in sorrow as he fled the room.

End of Chapter 12

yeah yeah I'm busy.. lol

[[toj.cc]WildBillKickoff]

Maid Mirawyn was bound in leather cords and titanium chains
Where exactly was Paul?!?

[ChickenSoup]

WildBillKickoff;201719']Where exactly was Paul?!?

Ask HIM, sheesh!!
------------------
Chapter 13

Maid Mirawyn was led down a hallway to another room. Along the way, she saw Dorkelf. She met his gaze, but he just looked down at the floor, ashamed. She new that he had not been allowed to see her.
[ahem. there you go, WBK.]
She was led to a room with two others: Chicken Soup and someone she had not seen before. Inside was SirThom.
"All of you here have been branded with a mark of shame. One of you has a 'special' one," he said, casting a forlorn glance over the three. "Maid Mirawyn has been branded 't3h h4xx0rx!!' for rebellion and treason and affiliation with hackers. Chicken Soup..." he trailed off. Chicken Soup merely gave a lop-sided smirk and held up his arm, which had a "B" and a "+", a "B" for the first ban and a plus sign for the current. Thom just rolled his eyes.
"C$ was being himself again. I'm sure you all figured that out. And our newer member here, stinky_poo_poo [this is a made up member!] has spammed without holding back, and has threatened us and has even put a sack of burning manure on my front porch. I am ashamed of all of you. Except Chicken Soup... I sort of saw it coming. Only, due to the nature of current circumstances, it is only a temporary ban since we need his services."

And with that they were led away to their solitary confinement cells.

End of Chapter 13

[Stc95]

WildBillKickoff;201719']Where exactly was Paul?!?

sneaking cookies from the cookie jar.

[ChickenSoup]

sneaking cookies from the cookie jar.

He would... I'll have to add that to a future chapter! :p

[tjguitarz]

Am I the only one who noticed there are two chapter 12s?

[ChickenSoup]

Ummm... no. *tackles tjguitarz, ties him up, and hides him*

[Lazarus]

I noticed too!
*is tackled, tied up, and hid*

Hey - I have to eat supper in a few minutes! :mad:

[ChickenSoup]

Sorry folks, here's a NEEEEEW t3h ch4pt0rz
------------------------------
Chapter 14 (or 15? with 2 12s and all :eek:)

Maid Mirawyn was going crazy with solitude. She couldn't bear to be in this cold, metal cell any longer. If it weren't for the fact that she had somehow gotten herself tied to the ceiling with her own socks in a desperate attempt to escape and wasn't immobilized, she would have been throwing herself at the door in delirium. Her only comfort would have been the music they played, but as it was they seemed to only have an endless supply of easy-listening Muzak. Reminds me of my days in Australia, she thought as she tried to free herself by gnawing her trapped leg off.

"How's she doing?" asked dorkelf cautiously. Tek7 looked up from the camera screen and sighed.
"She seems to have tied herself to the ceiling of her cell block, somehow, with her own socks, and now she's trying to chew through her leg to get down," he replied wryly. Dorkelf's eyes bulged and he virtually flew to the screen, letting out a sorrowful cry as he saw her hanging there.
"You have to let her down!" he yelled, groping for the "release prisoner" button. Tek7 firmly pushed him away and sat him back down in the chair.
"This is part of our banning process, I'm afraid. In two weeks, she'll be released to a higher authority, where she will probably be jailed. You're lucky to have such a resilient wife, though. Chicken Soup is going through emotional trauma like we've never seen." He switched the camera view to C$'s cell, where it showed C$ shaking and trying to open a non-existent can of Campbells.
"It's bad, all right," muttered Tek.

[ajmucha]

lol, who all is in it?

[ChickenSoup]

lol, who all is in it?

To be honest, I lost track. At one point, I think you were working with ArchAngel. You were a pyromaniac, I believe..

[tjguitarz]

Haha, I liked the sock part. Help me! My sock is stuck! *tries to gnaw leg off*

[ChickenSoup]

he he, I'm waiting for MM or dorkelf to respond

[Lazarus]

Respond by banning you? ;)

[dorkelf]

he he, I'm waiting for MM or dorkelf to respond

Hey C$ you forgot to post that chapter you pm'ed me a while ago - here, I'll post it for you.

Chapter 12

Later in the evening as C$ slept, dorkelf quietly slipped a key into his cell door. He turned it and it made an ear-piercing squeek that reverberated throughout the small cell room. C$ turned toward dorkelf, let out a loud snore and drooled on his Jump 5 pillow. He was a very sound sleeper, as long as he managed to have a cookie and milk before bed.

The cookie jar was on the other side of the bed from C$. Dorkelf approched it with trepidation. He had to know...he already suspected it now, because the aroma of the cookies could already be smelled even while the jar was closed. He opened the jar and extracted a cookie, looked at it carefully, salivating but not daring to eat it. Unmistakably, it was a minion cookie. He looked down at C$, shook his head with pity. Only five cookies left, and then...dorkelf shuddered. He placed the cookie back in the jar and left, shaking his head.

[ChickenSoup]

Hey C$ you forgot to post that chapter you pm'ed me a while ago - here, I'll post it for you.

Chapter 12

Later in the evening as C$ slept, dorkelf quietly slipped a key into his cell door. He turned it and it made an ear-piercing squeek that reverberated throughout the small cell room. C$ turned toward dorkelf, let out a loud snore and drooled on his Jump 5 pillow. He was a very sound sleeper, as long as he managed to have a cookie and milk before bed.

The cookie jar was on the other side of the bed from C$. Dorkelf approched it with trepidation. He had to know...he already suspected it now, because the aroma of the cookies could already be smelled even while the jar was closed. He opened the jar and extracted a cookie, looked at it carefully, salivating but not daring to eat it. Unmistakably, it was a minion cookie. He looked down at C$, shook his head with pity. Only five cookies left, and then...dorkelf shuddered. He placed the cookie back in the jar and left, shaking his head.

ROFL

non-guildies will not get the inside joke I think

[Lazarus]

lol, that was funny.

...I don't get it. :confused: :rolleyes:

[tjguitarz]

lol, that was funny.

...I don't get it. :confused: :rolleyes:

Me neither...

[Stc95]

ROFL

non-guildies will not get the inside joke I think

I wanna jar of Minion Cookies!!!! GIMME GIMME GIMME!!! hey Paul... you think you can slip me some on Tuesday PvP? huh? PLZ!


i get it :D

[Armandus]

I am addicted to this whole story, so awesome...

Amazing writing skills, and an expansive imagination C$. Keep them coming, because anything that makes me giggle like a school boy, is worth reading.

[ChickenSoup]

I am addicted to this whole story, so awesome...

Amazing writing skills, and an expansive imagination C$. Keep them coming, because anything that makes me giggle like a school boy, is worth reading.

Yeah the problem is between this and another story on CCGR.org and life in general plus a story for a scholarship contest it's kind of hectic... lol which is why the posts now are kind of seldom

[Lazarus]

Speaking of another story on ccgr... PLAGIARIST! :eek: :mad:

j/k

Armandus, there is a BiPAA program you can take if you want.

(Book in Progress Addicts Anonymous)

[ChickenSoup]

Chapter 15

Later in the evening as C$ slept, dorkelf quietly slipped a key into his cell door. He turned it and it made an ear-piercing squeek that reverberated throughout the small cell room. C$ turned toward dorkelf, let out a loud snore and drooled on his Jump 5 pillow. He was a very sound sleeper, as long as he managed to have a cookie and milk before bed.

The cookie jar was on the other side of the bed from C$. Dorkelf approched it with trepidation. He had to know...he already suspected it now, because the aroma of the cookies could already be smelled even while the jar was closed. He opened the jar and extracted a cookie, looked at it carefully, salivating but not daring to eat it. Unmistakably, it was a minion cookie. He looked down at C$, shook his head with pity. Only five cookies left, and then...dorkelf shuddered. He placed the cookie back in the jar and left, shaking his head.

A few days later, C$ sprang from his cell a free man, with just enough time and Minion Cookie left inside him to place a smuggled thermal charge from Dorkelf on Maid Mirawyn's cell door while no one was looking. (he had been banned twice before, so everyone figured he'd just follow protocol like he usually did) The blast seared open the titanium door (it was quality pyrotechnics, being made by ajmuncha (resident pyromaniac)) in a matter of seconds.
"Maid.... I.... must... not.." C$ struggled with the cookies inside of him, trying to resist being made a minion.
"Don't fight it, boy!" hissed Maid Mirawyn, who had given up gnawing off her own leg after she found out that it hurt too much. She was still hanging there, and her face was red and swollen from the blood rushing to her head.
"You... foul..." he sputtered, but he found his body acting against his will. His out-of-control hand brought forth a knife that Dorkelf had also smuggled to him, and it sliced through Maid's stuck sock and she fell to the floor.
"Now, I want you to go and take care of one2dredd. Understand?" she barked.
"You... you can't do this!!" cried C$, but the minion cookies forced him to do her will.
"Ta-ta! I'm off to assist HCS. I really shouldn't tell you this, but-" she leaned closer to him, wrinkling her nose at the smell of his minion cookie breath, "-we're going to melt the polar caps and watch from space as you all perish. You knoww, the sea tides will cover the entire United States with four and a half feet of water..." she whispered into his ear.
"Four foot six?!" he cried. "You won't kill anyone with that except..." his eyes grew wide.
"Yes, Souphead my boy... Gary Coleman." She cackled and took off down the hallway, and C$ followed unwillingly but forced by the will of the dreaded Cookie to "take care of" Dredd.

C$ struggled to rid himself of the Minion Cookies as he stood before One2dredd.
"Yes, C$?" asked dredd absentmindedly as he typed away at an email to the President of the U.S.
"I... I... RUN, DREDD!!! RUN WHILE YOU CAN!!" screamed C$, clutching his stomach in agony as the Minion Cookies burned his stomach in retaliation to his defiance.
"Wha-?" started dredd, but he could see glowing letters through Soup's thin T-shirt. It said "Made, with love, by MaidMirawyn!"
"MINION COOKIES?!" he cried, backing out of his chair and reaching for his trusty paintball gun.
"RUN, DREDD! I...." C$ yelled, but his face changed in mid-sentence.
"I... believe you are... in need of... disposing!" he croaked with a maniacal grin.
"You can fight this, Soupboy!" shouted dredd vehemently, trying to dissuade C$ from his destructive mission.
"Don't get yourself banned again!" he added, halfheartedly. Soup replied in a rumbling bass voice that a 15 year old should not possess.
"Do not make this any more painful for yourself than it needs to be!" he bellowed, grabbing Dredd's office desk and tossing it at him as if it weighed nothing. Dredd ducked just in time and managed to pepper his assailant with frozen paintballs (OUCHY WAWA), but C$ only laughed.

Suddenly, Darth Dapor ran into the room.
"I'M HERE! I'M HERE! DID I MISS ANYTHI..." he shouted, and stopped in mid-leap when he saw the situation.
"CURSE YOU, MIRAWYN!!!" He bellowed. "CUUUUUUUURSE YOOOOOOOOOU!!!"
C$ turned to toss a water cooler at him but was surprised by Darth's speed. In half a second, Darth Dapor had leaped across the room and slammed his fist into Chicken Soup's cheek, sending him flying across the room. C$ moaned and almost lapsed into unconsciousness when the cookies, now in his intestines, burned with such an intensity that he could not do anything but try to stand once more. But, with another super-human leap, Darth was in front of him.
"IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, SOUP!" he yelled, shoving a bottle into C$'s mouth. In a few moments, it was drained, and C$ choked on the foul stuff.
"What was that?!" he cried. "Tell me it was ipecac syrup! It's the only way to free me!"
"It's too far down to do that now, I'm afraid," replied Darth coolly. "I had to use liquid laxatives. It's cherry flavor, but I've heard it taste rancid."
C$'s eyes grew wide with horror as he heard a gurgling in his belly.
"I've... I've got to go to the bathroom!!" he screamed, running out of the room.

[EDIT: Sorry C$, we'll have to leave the bathroom events to the reader's imagination.]
[EDIT: n00bcat. I liked that scene]

"Greetings, Armandus," said Hescominsoon. "I appreciate your services."
"The pleasure is all mine," replied Armandus, fingering a switchblade in his hand, the 10-inch blade gleaming in the moonlight.
"Did you recieve your mission briefing?" inquired HCS.
"Yeah, you want me to go steal the International Space Station or something," snorted Armandus.
"Commandeer. We're going to commandeer the ISS. Nautical term."

[Lazarus]

Lol. Good one, C$.

[dorkelf]

I'm not sure I have ever read anything funnier than that Gary Coleman line C$. :D Though I'm curious how someone as young as you even knows who he is. :rolleyes:

Paul

[ChickenSoup]

I'm not sure I have ever read anything funnier than that Gary Coleman line C$. :D Though I'm curious how someone as young as you even knows who he is. :rolleyes:

Paul

>_> <_<


...to be perfectly honest... he was on a certain Simpsons Christmas Special... :P

[tjguitarz]

Haha, the Gary Coleman thing cracked me up to! What show was he from? That one with the old guy that looked like Batman's butler, Albert.

[dorkelf]

Haha, the Gary Coleman thing cracked me up to! What show was he from? That one with the old guy that looked like Batman's butler, Albert.

From Wikipedia:

"[Gary Coleman is mainly known] for his role as Arnold Jackson in the American sitcom Diff'rent Strokes.

During the eight-year run of the show, where his famous line was "what'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis?" Coleman was a popular figure, starring in a number of feature films and made-for-TV movies including On the Right Track, and The Kid with the Broken Halo. The Kid With the Broken Halo eventually served as the basis for the Hanna-Barbera produced animated series The Gary Coleman Show from 1982.

At the height of his fame on Diff'rent Strokes, Coleman earned $70,000 per episode. As he grew older, however, he fell from public favor. After the cancellation of Diff'rent Strokes, his acting career declined sharply. He did play a building code inspector in a Married... with Children episode (#S08E16, "How Green Was My Apple") where Bundy had called him to report an illegal driveway.

In 1995, Coleman was also featured as character "Mad Dog" on the show Martin (Episode title: "High Noon"), in which he played an ex-convict whom Martin helped to imprison. Once released, Mad Dog comes looking for Martin.

In 1997, Coleman did voice work for the The Curse of Monkey Island, the third installment in the Monkey Island series of comedy adventure games developed by LucasArts, as Kenny Falmouth, the lemon juice boy. In 2004, Coleman played a supporting role in the controversial computer game Postal² by Running With Scissors, Inc...

[Snip to the end]

Coleman appeared on the People's Court on November 2, 2000, charged with assault. He was ordered to pay bus driver Tracy Fields $1,665 for hospital bills resulting from a fight. Fields had attempted to get Coleman's autograph while he was shopping for a bulletproof vest in a California mall.[1] Coleman said he felt "threatened by her insistence" and punched her in the head. Coleman was working as a security guard at the time[2]. This incident was later parodied on Chappelle's Show, on The Smoking Gun, and on The Simpsons' episode "Grift of the Magi"."

BTW I love those Monkey Island games, didn't realize Coleman was involved!

Paul

[ChickenSoup]

Lol he 0wnd a security d00d

[tjguitarz]

$70,000 an episode for 8 years? I think I'll change careers. I want to be a movie star :-D

[ChickenSoup]

70k an episode is... hold on... yeah, it's 70k more than I make an episode.

[ChickenSoup]

Chapt0rz 16
----------------
"Can I count down? Please?"
"No, Mike."
"PLEASE?"
"Fine..."
"Three... two... one... KABLOOIE!!"
"That's 'take-off', you idiot."

It was an unusual start to an average takeoff of NASA's revolutionary new space shuttle "Destiny", which was making a typical link-up with the ISS, or International Space Station. What they didn't know was what was waiting for them.

"Commencing space walk," radioed a British astronaut to his American counterpart in the command module.
"Roger that, Red Leader."
"Stop calling me that."

The shuttle pulled up beside the ISS docking station and the space-walking Brit began to hook up the electronic cables between the shuttle and the ISS.
"You are clear to board, crew of Destiny. Weclome to the ISS," said the Brit.
"Reboarding ISS from space walk," he stated, doing so.

In the shuttle, various technicians loaded cargo into the docking module to be taken to the storage facility.
"My word, this stuff is heavy. What's in here, a new Sony 62" LCD TV, which you can get at your local Best Buy for 200 dollars off when bought with six DVDs?" asked an exasperated tech officer.
"They never should've installed the artificial gravity in the loading sector," he grumbled. As he set the containers in the loading dock, a certain semi-sealed box opened for half a second and a huddled form slipped out and into the shadows.
"What was that?" snapped the annoyed tech officer.
"I think it was a stowaway! Who the heck stows away on a flippin' space shuttle?!" cried another technician. "Someone's gotta go after him."
"I'll do this, chums!" shouted the newbie of the group.
"No, Jenkins, don't do this, you're not-" started the officer, but he was cut off by Jenkins' loud shout of fury blaring into his earpiece as he took off down the corridor.
"Oh.... oh my gosh. He just went in!" noted the American in the command module, who was surveying the security monitors.
"What do we do now?" asked an Israeli scientist.
"We stick to the plan, people! Stick to the plan!" barked the tech officer, racing down the corridor after Jenkins.
"Darnit, Leeroy, why do you do this crud?!" he grumbled to himself.
A scream echoed through the hallways of the ISS, followed by a moan that was cut off with a loud thump.
"What'd he say, Smith?" asked the Brit.
"Something like 'at least I have chicken', I'm not sure..." replied the American.
"He likes KFC, I think," replied the Israeli.
"Why did he scream like that, though?" muttered the Brit
"We're about to find out! Someone--or something--is headed your way, people!" said the American.

WildBillKickoff yawned as he watched the evening news in his dark office. A reporter standing outside the NASA headquarters was trying almost unsuccessfully to talk over the wind that buffeted the news team.
"Today, an unknown intruder has somehow attacked the crew of the International Space Station... details to come!"
WBK sat up straight. MaidMirawyn had said something about the ISS in her threat to Chicken Soup!
"ATOWN!!!" he yelled, snatching his coat from its hanger by the door.
"Yes'm?" replied Atown, who was down the hall shooting baskets into his trashcan with crumpled blueprints of rejected invention ideas.
"We need to pay a little visit to HCS, I think. Get Dark Virtue, dorkelf, and ajmuncha. Also, keep C$ on standby. We may need him. Oh, and get DarthDapor. He and Souphead can skydive in if we need serious backup."
--------------------
End of Chapter 16

did you catch the WoW reference? :P

[Neirai the Forgiven]

nice reference :)

[[toj.cc]WildBillKickoff]

I might be wrong, but I think the appropriate response is "roflcopter".

[Neirai the Forgiven]

I prefer roflwidget, presonally

[ChickenSoup]

posting another chapter later today

[slalomdms]

Wow i didn't know this place even existed. I decided to go outside of SoE forums for once. By the way from what little I have read in your stories they are very funny. I'm gonna have to start from the beginning and work my way through the rest.

[ChickenSoup]

I know, there's a whole other world outside of GW o.0 :P
-------------------
HCS sighed and continued constructing the tiny chip he was designing. His quarters, a bit shabby for one of his intellect (or so he claimed), consisted of a dusty apartment that overlooked a filthy, polluted pond three stories below. A single, sorrowful-looking lightbulb lit the interior; the broken shades were drawn as best he could to cover the windows. It smelled of burnt almonds.

He laid the sautering gun aside and stretched, noisily cracking his knuckles; the noise it made secretly amused him.
"Must you do that? It's annoying," sighed MaidMirawyn, who lay half-asleep on the mattress that was strewn across the floor as a makeshift sleeping arrangement. MM, of course, had a seperate apartment two streets away, but as her new boss worked later and later into the wee hours of the night, she found herself more occupied sleeping than paying attention.
"Yes. It relieves stress. Not as much as it used to, of course, since I only have one biological hand now..." he yawned. "If it bothers you, you can go home or something."
"No," replied Mirawyn. "I want to be here when you finish your little project. Oh, and did you hear the news? Our agents have taken over the ISS."
"Yes, I heard. You've told me that six times already, you know," sighed HCS, who had decided to set aside his handiwork for a while.
"I hope those techs at CGA haven't tracked us yet," said Mirawyn. "I hated to ditch my... car... jet... tank... thing... but they may have followed footprints or something. They're smarter than they look."
"I am at least 90 percent confident that they will not find us!" barked HCS irritably.

Suddenly, someone banged on the door.
"HCS, you in there?!" yelled a somewhat familiar voice. Mirawyn shot HCS a glance that said "I thought as much!"
"Er, 80% positive," corrected HCS.
"This is WildBillKickoff! Open the door or Dark Virtue will... hold on.." there were hused whispers.
"Ajmuncha said he'd torch it. So let us in real quick-like! Chipchopchip!"
"40%..." muttered HCS.
"Chip chop chip? Is that a Jim Gaffigan joke??" snorted Maid Mirawyn.
"Yeah, I think so. Well, let's hide the loot before they blow up half the apartment complex..."
HCS swept the chip and his tools into a bag and tossed the bag out the window while Mirawyn gawked.
"The bag is like bubble wrap. The chip'll be fine."
Moments later, they heard a hissing noise and within three seconds the door had been burned and melted.
"NOBODY MOVE!!!" screamed Dark Virtue, who somersaulted in and raised an M16 threateningly. WBK entered next, followed by Atown and ajmuncha.
"I left my Glock at CGA's HQ, darnit!" stated HCS nonchalantly. "I'll have to make do with my Beretta!" He then overturned the table, shot Atown in the shoulder, and dove behind it. Maid Mirawyn rose quickly and tossed a throwing knife at Dark Virtue, who caught it and flung it to the side. He raised the M16 and emptied an entire magazine into the table. Fortunately for HCS, the table was very thick and had a metal plate on the underside.
WBK attended to Atown's wound while ajmuncha delighted himself with tossing thermite grenades in every concievable direction that did not place his comrades in danger.
"Kaboom kaboom kaboom!!" he squealed, and a second later there was a series of loud bangs followed by a hissing noise as the grenades detonated and sent flames and molten iron spewing everywhere. Maid Mirawyn grunted in annoyance and, careful to avoid the ballistic molten metal flying every which way, dove out the window. HCS cursed and wished he had an assistant with better nerves.
"You can't handle the heat?!" yelled ajmuncha, who was cackling and prancing around the now-brightly lit room. "THEN STAY OUT OF AJ'S KITCHEN, BAY-BEE!!!" He cackled once more and then rolled on the floor giggling. Dark Virtue just rolled his eyes and reloaded his gun.
"You cannot catch me! You're chasing the wind! It's like trying to grasp smoke in your hands!!" yelled HCS, who was considering following Mirawyn on a trip out the open window.
"Call in Dapor and Soup!!" cried Atown, who was now bandaged and ready to fight.
"Righto," replied WBK, who brought out a cell phone from his belt.

"So, if you were stuck on a deserted island, would you eat your own feet if there was no food?" asked Chicken Soup. Darth Dapor pondered this for a moment, only temporarily distracted by the slurping sounds of C$ as he guzzled some Campbells right out of the can.
"Maybe. I'd rather not, though, because then I couldn't walk and would die for sure after that."
"Good point. Er, hold on, I've got a call." C$ pulled out his cell phone and answered.
"Soup here, what's your favorite color?" he said, making Dapor snicker to himself. It was a joke between C$ and him.
"Ah. I see. We'll be right there. Wait--who's that cackling? Did ajmuncha set something on fire again?? Yeah, I thought so. See you then!"
*click*
"Let's go."

HCS made a break for it and leaped through the window. Bullets tore through his shirt but did not harm him as he latched onto a tree branch and swiftly slipped to the ground.
"At least you made it to the ground!" hissed Mirawyn, who was nursing a sprained ankle. "I just landed on a hedge."
"Run, you fool!" hissed HCS back. He snatched up the bag he had tossed earlier and started sprinting, followed by a limping Maid Mirawyn.
"STOP RIGHT THERE!!" A voice hailed them from the sky.
"That sounds like Darth Dapor!" whispered Mirawyn.
"YA!! U NO GET AWAY, CUZ I'M A SERIOUSE KITTIN!!!" screamed another voice.
"Great, it's C$," she grumbled. "Didn't even need to recognize the voice on that one.
"Let's just--OOF!!" grunted HCS as a can of soup smacked him in the face, followed by another in the gut.
"What the--" started Mirawyn. The soup cans then exploded, sending hot broth everywhere.
"Best. Invention. Ever," stated C$, who had landed several yards away.
"What'd you do, put a flashbang in a can of Campbells??" asked Dapor incredulously.
"How'd you know?!" replied a startled C$. He supposed he should make things a little less obvious in the future.
"Shut up, both of you!" yelled Maid Mirawyn, who had a revolver trained on them. "Don't make me use this on you again, Souphead."
"I hate that gun," muttered C$.
"Get used to it," she barked, motioning for them to back up against the wall.
"No time for this, Maid!" yelled HCS, who was now halfway down the street. Mirawyn rolled her eyes and ran.
"I guess I should try to stop them," noted Dapor. He took off after them, summoning his newfound martial arts skills.
"Uh, yeah. Me too," sputtered C$, who preferred more efficient methods (i.e. dispensing with the pleasantries of beautifully used martial arts and just shooting them right then and there), quickly assembled his M24 sniper rifle and took aim.
"YYYYYYYAAAAAAIIII!!!!" shrieked Dapor, leaping ten feet in a single bound and delivering a sharp blow to the back of Mirawyn's knee. She fell with a cry and whirled, ready to fight. HCS paused, as if pondering the situation, and kept running.
"Hescominsoon, what are you doing?! Help me!!" yelled Mirawyn, who was fighting a losing battle against the much swifter and seemingly much crazier Dapor. HCS just kept running. An eerie cry rang across the street, sending a shiver down his spine.
"ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!" C$'s war cry. A moment later, a bullet pinged off a road sign two inches away. He then started randomly twisting, turning, jumping, hopping, and dashing in zigzags in an attempt to throw off C$'s aim. It worked. Bullets zinged this way and that, but none came close.
"LET'S SEE IF WE CAN GET YOU ANOTHER ROBOT HAND, MECH-BOY! MAYBE AN ARTIFICIAL HEAD!" cried C$. HCS groaned with pain as he tripped over a road block. He painfully raised himself up and then remembered that crosshairs were trained on him.
"Buh bye," breathed C$.
Click.
"Gosh darn it... out of ammo..."
HCS laughed victoriously and made his escape, leaving Maid Mirawyn to fend for herself.

[slalomdms]

Yay! I am finally caught up. I read most of the stories today, had some great laughs, keep it up!

[ChickenSoup]

wait till I add the twist in the plot!
-----------------
[preview]
MaidMirawyn yawned and was about to fall asleep when she noticed a strange lump protruding from HCS's snoring form ten feet away. She slowly and stealthily got up and slipped over, avoiding the campfire. She lifted the flap and saw HCS sleeping, but there was a metal box attached to his back! "What in the world..." she whispered. As stealthily as possible, she poked the skin around it. It felt... fake. She pricked it with her finger nail and part of it lifted. She pulled back and to her horror she discovered whirring, moving, and churning robotic parts.
"If this isn't the real HCS... then where is..."
Instantly, HCS awoke and spun around, striking her on the forehead and she slipped into unconsciousness.

[Lazarus]

*gasp* Oh no! What will happen next?!!

[slalomdms]

Will Dorkelf come to save the day?

[ChickenSoup]

Maybe he will. Maybe he won't. Maybe C$ knocked him unconscious with a can of soup. Maybe Genesis199[whatver the numbers in her name are] locked him in a fortress of d00m. Or maybe he's pouting and watching soaps and eating graham crackers

[tjguitarz]

Dude, you're crazy. But keep up the good work.

[dorkelf]

Maybe he will. Maybe he won't. Maybe C$ knocked him unconscious with a can of soup. Maybe Genesis199[whatver the numbers in her name are] locked him in a fortress of d00m. Or maybe he's pouting and watching soaps and eating graham crackers


STOF INTEWWWUPWN MMM SOWWWP OPWWWA

[Stc95]

STOF INTEWWWUPWN MMM SOWWWP OPWWWA

MM has a great husband.. :p

you should post the one from the SoE forum.. just for fun.

[ChickenSoup]

but that one isn't finished! :P

[tjguitarz]

SoE forum

Whenever I see that I think of "Sony Online Entertainment."

[Lazarus]

MM has a great husband.. :p

you should post the one from the SoE forum.. just for fun.

What's this? :confused:

[ChickenSoup]

I love inside jokes

[Stc95]

WOO! GW FTW!

[Lazarus]

Inside jokes FTL.

[tjguitarz]

FTW!
FTL.

I know that FTW = for the win. So does FTL = for the lose? If so, then FTT!

[Stc95]

I know that FTW = for the win. So does FTL = for the lose? If so, then FTT!

YEP! and FTT im guessing is For the tie.

FTW!
FTL!
FTT!
FTSTC!

[Lazarus]

FTSTC?

*pounds C$ with a hammer* Where's the next one?!

[dorkelf]

Wow, the natives are getting restless C$, better post again before this mutates into the 'explanation of acronyms preceeded by FT' thread, or worse. :confused:

Paul

[Lazarus]

I suppose C$ wouldn't mind if I started posting that one from ccgr on here... he and I are both in it, after all.

Plagiarist! :p

[ChickenSoup]

Totally different characters, Laz. Although I admit I sort of forgot about this. Whoops.

[Lazarus]

You keep forgetting about them - first on ccgr, now here. ;)

I could suggest medication for that if you want...

[ChickenSoup]

I iz bizzee

[slalomdms]

ahhhhh whear iz de naxt chaptur?

[ChickenSoup]

duuurrrr... wehn i feelz liek itt. Dat'z wehn.

[Lazarus]

How about when you relearn how to spell... j/k

[ajmucha]

I love how it's looking, laz, so funny how they dont spell right.

[Shadow_Blade]

I have much to catch up on, it seems... O_o

This is Count_Krazy, btw.

[Lazarus]

Prove it. You could be anybody. :)

(C$...)

[ChickenSoup]

Prove it. You could be anybody. :)

(C$...)

It's not me.

[ChickenSoup]

Heeeey Tek if you read this can you make this part of the writing challenge? I'll have to start monday or tuesday though so yeah...

[MaidMirawyn]

he he. I dunno but in movies a lot of the time my favorite character is the bad guy.
Everyone has an evil side in MY stories :eek::p
I wanna see more evil sides...

And I think STC is still waiting for minion cookies...

[ChickenSoup]

Well C$, in the story, has an evil side--if you read what he was yelling at HCS...

"Let's get you an artificial HEAD!"

Doesn't seem like it's really him, does it? :eek:

(I love starting rum0rz.)

[Lazarus]

I dunno - sounds like something you'd say on here. :)

[one2dredd]

*cough*

[ChickenSoup]

Oh. Forgot about this again.

[Lazarus]

*COUGH* ...pardon me, could you repeat that?

[slalomdms]

Cough......

[dorkelf]

Attention all fans of soup boy's story:

It was inevitable, I suppose, that soup boy would one day abandon his story, and it would be up to others to complete it. Numerous authors have begged me for the privilege, and Brian Herbert and Kevin J Anderson recently offered to complete the story based on extrapolated metadata found in C$'s sig file. But after due consideration, I'm happy to announce that I've finally chosen a writer who is truly worthy to take over this project. Let's give him a big CGA welcome guys!






http://junglebook.contraditorium.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/08/jar_jar.jpg

[ChickenSoup]

*shoots Jar Jar with a rapidly-made gun with the materials on the desk in front of me: five coffee cups, priority mail tape, a microphone, several piano books, some HEFTY ziplock bags, a flashlight, a pencil sharpener, some more packaging tape, a wireless router, two hair scrunchies, and a printer ink cartridge, with AA batteries as ammo*

Seriously though, if someone else would want to, say, take over the story, they would PM me... you know, hypothetically... and then I would, in theory, post my resignation as I got off track with this story several months ago... and then, metaphorically speaking, of course, they would continue where I left off and finished it as they saw fit--with my approval...

[Glitch]

*cough*

Cover your mouth when you cough please.... i'm not sure how you would post that.... but please do...

[ChickenSoup]

BUM BUM BUUUUUUMMM!!!

WHAT WAS HAPPENING BEFORE...
Hcs laid the sautering gun aside and stretched, noisily cracking his knuckles; the noise it made secretly amused him.
"Must you do that? It's annoying," sighed MaidMirawyn.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"YYYYYYYAAAAAAIIII!!!!" shrieked Dapor, leaping ten feet in a single bound and delivering a sharp blow to the back of Mirawyn's knee. She fell with a cry and whirled, ready to fight. HCS paused, as if pondering the situation, and kept running.
"Hescominsoon, what are you doing?! Help me!!" yelled Mirawyn, who was fighting a losing battle against the much swifter and seemingly much crazier Dapor. HCS just kept running. An eerie cry rang across the street, sending a shiver down his spine.
"ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!" C$'s war cry. A moment later, a bullet pinged off a road sign two inches away. He then started randomly twisting, turning, jumping, hopping, and dashing in zigzags in an attempt to throw off C$'s aim. It worked. Bullets zinged this way and that, but none came close.
"LET'S SEE IF WE CAN GET YOU ANOTHER ROBOT HAND, MECH-BOY! MAYBE AN ARTIFICIAL HEAD!" cried C$. HCS groaned with pain as he tripped over a road block. He painfully raised himself up and then remembered that crosshairs were trained on him.
"Buh bye," breathed C$.
Click.
"Gosh darn it... out of ammo..."
HCS laughed victoriously and made his escape, leaving Maid Mirawyn to fend for herself.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
MaidMirawyn yawned and was about to fall asleep when she noticed a strange lump protruding from HCS's snoring form ten feet away. She slowly and stealthily got up and slipped over, avoiding the campfire. She lifted the flap and saw HCS sleeping, but there was a metal box attached to his back! "What in the world..." she whispered. As stealthily as possible, she poked the skin around it. It felt... fake. She pricked it with her finger nail and part of it lifted. She pulled back and to her horror she discovered whirring, moving, and churning robotic parts.
"If this isn't the real HCS... then where is..."
Instantly, HCS awoke and spun around, striking her on the forehead and she slipped into unconsciousness.

*really really cool action music video montage PWNAGE l33tn3ss*


So what happens after that? The answer coming soon! (as in the next day or two. Guaranteed.)

[ChickenSoup]

THE BEGINNING OF PART TWO
----------------------------
Hescominsoon ran for all he was worth. He ran for several minutes along a highway until he came to the city limits and then dashed off into a patch of trees. He spotted a gnarled oak tree and leaped into it, climbing its branches with the ease of a leopard. He perched at a branch about twenty feet up, and he waited for his pursuers to show themselves.


Several thousand feet in the air, a B2 stealth bomber scanned the ground. Its mission was not one of a stealth air strike, but a simple recon mission. The objective: Find HCS at any cost.
"Lone figure spotted heading west of the northbound highway!" radioed a copilot.
"Roger that," radioed back the main pilot. "Reporting coordinates..."


A mile away, the team from CGA received a single message.
"We've got him," breathed C$.
---------------

Sorry, gotta go shower... more tomorrow

[Lazarus]

...you were saying...?

[ChickenSoup]

Ick, bass lessons and piano lessons and driver's ed and soccer and BLAH BLAH BLAH it's still too busy. I'll never finish this story :mad:

[Lazarus]

Well C$...

you blew it. I'm sorry man.

Starting Saturday... I'm taking over. :cool:

(Yeah, rly. :rolleyes:)

[ChickenSoup]

You can if you want. Seriously.

[Lazarus]

THE BEGINNING OF PART TWO
----------------------------
Hescominsoon ran for all he was worth. He ran for several minutes along a highway until he came to the city limits and then dashed off into a patch of trees. He spotted a gnarled oak tree and leaped into it, climbing its branches with the ease of a leopard. He perched at a branch about twenty feet up, and he waited for his pursuers to show themselves.


Several thousand feet in the air, a B2 stealth bomber scanned the ground. Its mission was not one of a stealth air strike, but a simple recon mission. The objective: Find HCS at any cost.
"Lone figure spotted heading west of the northbound highway!" radioed a copilot.
"Roger that," radioed back the main pilot. "Reporting coordinates..."


A mile away, the team from CGA received a single message.
"We've got him," breathed C$.
---------------



Vibro jogged down the road, arms swinging loosely at his sides. The pager on his belt began vibrating. Vibro paused and yanked it out of the sheath. He held the pager-katana to his ear.

"Yeah?"
STC spoke in a hushed voice.
"Vibro, they found the robot. You gotta get HCS out of - "

The transmission abruptly cut off. Vibro resheathed his katana and looked around.
He spotted a Corvette flying down the highway toward him.
Whipping out the katana, Vibro examined the car through the hollow blade; which doubled as a telescope.
"MM!" he exclaimed.

He swung around, looking for a place to hide, then quickly ducked into the brush by the side of the road.

In a tree close by, HCS watched curiously.

...

MaidMirawyn peered suspiciously at the pile of branches farther ahead. For a moment she thought she'd seen someone there...
She slowed the Corvette as she went past it, rolling down the passenger window.
"Hello?" she called. "Hello?"
The words were accompanied by an Uzi shoved out the window..

No one answered, somewhat unsurprisingly.
Underneath a pile of leaves, Vibro twitched uncomfortably. Ants crawled down his neck.
"Sure hope she doesn't empty a mag in my direction..."

Shrugging, MM rolled the window up and eased up on the brake.
"Don't seem to be any cops around..." she mused, glancing up at the mirror.
The Corvette flew off down the highway at an unbelievably illegal speed.
...

Vibro clung to the trunk, his hair and clothes rippling in the slipstream, praying that a State Trooper would come upon the scene.

Underneath the Corvette, HCS had his arms wrapped firmly around the gas tank's supports.
He groaned as the car slalomed through a string of orange traffic cones.
"Maniac Mirawyn..."

...

C$ collared Darth as he exited the B2's cockpit.
"Nobody was there, Darth!" he yelled.

Darth looked shocked. "We saw him there," he insisted.
The copilot removed her helmet and nodded. "It was him." Genesis told C$. "Honest. Cross my heart. Hope to die. I promise you..."
"All right already!"

As they walked away from the plane, C$ shook his head.
"We searched that whole area... nothing. Imagining sensors didn't pick up a thing... aside from a couple of kittens."

A shock wave slammed them to the ground as the B2 exploded, blowing a massive crater in the runway. Darth and Genesis tumbled and rolled, their helmets bouncing away across the concrete.

C$ slowly got to his feet, turning toward the burning stealth bomber.
"You'll pay, HCS..." he breathed.

...

(Seriously, C$??? )

[ajmucha]

Can I get a mech...or maybe just in the story? lol

Btw, i can tell its a different style slightly, but sitll very good

[dorkelf]

Btw, i can tell its a different style slightly, but sitll very good

I agree.

As far as I'm concerned...I'd like to see both of them contributing to the story. Maybe it would be mainly Lazarus writing the story, with C$ adding an entry here and there. Whatever. Just keep it going! Its too cool to die! :p

Paul

[MaidMirawyn]

I'm just keeping an eye out to make sure my REAL plans to control the world aren't inadvertantly revealed...

[ajmucha]

Hehe..me and a small co-op of friend are making plans to take over the world...all different, agruing over countries, yada yada yada...anyways, i spek for many people when i say
GIVE US MORE, PLEASE!

[ChickenSoup]

but it's 10:37 at night...

I'll just be the main inspiration and Laz can use his free time to write it. :P

[Lazarus]

What the... C$ got banned again?

....

I'm sorry I vanished like that, but the parents went ballistic again and confiscated my computer.

[Amicus Dei of [FoG]]

for $pam i'm sure xD

as for me, make me like Link from LoZ and i'll be glad to join forces with the CGA server guards :p