ajmucha
New Member
Chapter 1! yes i finally finished chapter 1 of my book...ya'll know what to do..lemme have it!
Chapter 1
-----Roland glanced down upon the city from a high, ornate marble balcony, one hand resting causally on the railing. The city appeared so serene, life moving about as it always did for several decades now. Small, multicolored dots shot across the ground like a large ant colony. The man slowly closed his green eyes, as a small gust of wind came, ruffling his hair. “Precisely on time, as always, yes?” He slowly opened his eyes, not looking around. Another man, somewhat older than him stood back a few feet. “I thank you for coming.”
-----“Sir…” the other man began to say, but was quickly cut off.
-----“Permission to speak freely, granted. You are among friends; you need not be so stiff.”
-----Walking up slowly, the other man’s large, powerful form smoothly crossed down the stairs and up to the railing where his friend stood. He crossed his arms and leaned forward on the railing, stretching his uniform a bit across his back. “So, for what business do I owe the honor of being here?”
-----With a slight smile, Roland straightened and looked up at the dingy-gray overcast sky. “Before long, they will all be here, from across the Republic, the greatest warriors, vying to prove their ability before trillions of crazed fans.” He had yet to finish his sentence when he heard that all-too-familiar soft crackling sound of a starship exiting an artificial wormhole.
-----“I would assume you mean they are coming here, not to participate in combat, but rather to enjoy each other’s company before fighting. Is that correct, highness?” He too, looked up at the sound, as several more other soft crackles followed, sounding not unlike firecrackers going off in the distance.
-----“That is one of the reasons I have called you here. During the Gladiator’s Ball, I wish you to address me as Roland, nothing more. Do not refer to me as ‘Prince Roland’ nor ‘highness’…”
-----“With all due respect sir, what you ask is near impossible. I only want to honor your position as the Terrain Republic Prince.”
-----“Yet I want to establish a mindset that we are all equals, particularly during the games. Social rank and status do nothing for a combatant, whether behind the controls of a fighter, or an Esion. No rules, apart from those created to keep the competitors alive, benefit any faction. Is that too much of a request for an old friend and former cadet, Korit?”
-----“No, sir, I suppose not.” He ran his thick fingers through his trim jet-black hair, slicking it back a little. “Is it correct to assume you wish for Varick to do the same?”
-----Grinning a little, Roland smoothed out the left sleeve of his ceremonial silk jacket. “Correct. Not only Varick, but Callista as well. I do not mind if other addresses me by ‘prince’, I only hope that by fellow team members addressing me casually that it will establish a sense of ease.”
-----Korit laughed, his deep, typically mellow tones booming off the marble walls before echoing out over the city, only to be drowned out by the noise of everyday life. “Ah yes, of course, I forgot about the girl…last time you saw her, I believe, was nearly six months ago? Has she improved in her abilities in standard gravity fields?”
-----“I have heard little about it since then. Only that she recently graduated from the starship academy, approximately a year ahead. Hopefully she will not let that make her headstrong; we cannot afford to be cocky, even in simulated combat.”
-----“Tell that to Varick…” Korit muttered under his breath. Not moving his head, but glancing sideways, Korit could feel Roland’s own jade green eyes bore into his own, not in anger, but more of rebuke for speaking out against another officer.
-----“If you have an issue with another officer, or even a soldier, feel free to discuss it with them, but do not attack them behind their back like some kind of guerrilla fighter.” An awkward silence followed for a few minutes, neither person speaking a word. A slight hissing sound came from behind them, the five-panel door sliding smoothly open, followed by the reinforced bars opening to conform to the shape of the person coming through. “You may speak.”
-----A cool, female voice answered them, stiff with military precision. “Prince Roland, Sir Korit, your presence is requested at the spaceport to greet the first guests arriving.”
-----“Very well then, prepare a hovercar to take us there. No escort will be necessary.”
-----“Understood, sir.” She bowed as the doors hissed again to admit her back into the palace. Roland stood up straight and turned towards the door, silently moving up the small set of stairs, pausing in-between the marble columns that served as supports for the balcony awning.
-----“Are you going to come?” He asked casually, adjusting his collar slightly. Nodding curtly, Korit stood straight as well and followed. “Keep in mind again, avoid excessive formalities.” The door hissed shut behind them, a security camera’s ever-vigilant eye continuing to pan over the balcony.
-----Approximately half an hour later, Korit, Roland, and Varick sat in the back seat of a luxurious, leather-seated Eni hovercar. The vehicle easily cruised along the causeway, bearing towards the bridge which connected the mainland to the large, military-grade spaceport, an artificial island meant to limit accessibility from the ground. “Do we have any clue who’s even getting here?”
-----Both Roland and Korit seemed to make slight motions of unease upon Varick’s use of a contraction. Using contractions, slang, and the like was a more lazy way of speaking, and greatly frowned upon by the military and other high-end organizations. “First is the final member of our team, from Luna. Her name is Callista. As for the second, they herald from Claiomh Solais itself, called the Five Ring Avengers.” Roland answered quickly, trying to cover up Varick’s sloppy speech.
-----“Who is…sorry…” The sarcasm clearly evident in Varick’s voice, he took another sip from his drink, his brown eyes seeming to glower out from under his messy black hair. He sat against the side wall of the vehicle, across from Roland and Korit. Fortunately, the wall dividing the driver and the passengers in the back was, for the most part, soundproof. “I see no need to cater to the opposition…” Roland just shook his head at this comment, letting it fly over his head instead of getting into an argument.
-----The hovercar slowed down and came to a stop at a platform in the middle of the bridge, a large metal arch moving over it, scanning the names and IDs of the people inside, as well as checking for abnormalities in the vehicle, abnormalities that could be anything from a minor light blow-out to a reactor leak. The tiny fusion engine roared again as it sped along the last stretch of the bridge, nearing the spaceport. Ships of every imaginable shape and size could take off, land, refuel in-air, or simply drop passengers off. A large concourse which stretched from one end to the other provided human and small vehicle passage from the landing field and the large parking lot.
-----Crawling to a stop, the hovercar touched down and the driver shut the engine off, unlocking the doors and rushing out of his seat to open the passenger doors for his special guests. The weather out at the spaceport was different than at the palace. Here the sun beamed brightly through a few patchy clouds, the deep blue ocean sparkling as though it were made of sapphire. The only disturbances apart from the waves were a few higher-class citizens taking their yachts out to enjoy a beautiful day.
-----Roland exited first, followed by the hulking form of Korit, and finally the leaner, yet trim Varick. Their royal blue uniforms, embroidered with gold and trimmed in soft crimson colors stood out in stark contrast to the drab uniforms of spaceport personnel. The doors here, made of bulletproof glass and lined in steel frames slide open to admit them inside. A glass elevator slowly descended into the lobby, the only passenger a female, wearing the jade and silver-trimmed outfit of a fighter pilot. She smiled and saluted, her lavender eyes beaming happily.
-----Unintentionally ignoring the formality of saluting in return as a sign of respect, he immediately moved forward to help the woman with her luggage, a set of military-issue bags: light, but waterproof and strong. By the way she moved she was resisting the urge to embrace Roland, but instead shook his hand, avoiding casual circumstances in a public setting from military personnel.
-----Another dull thudding sound interrupted the happy reunion as another ship touched down, by the sound of it, at least a cruiser-class. An automated voice came from ceiling-mounted speakers. “Arriving at gate five, Transport Ramses, from Claiomh Solais.”
-----Walking forward to join Roland and the new troop, Varick tailed Korit. “From the sounds of it, I would say that our friends from the tournament world are here.” Varick smiled dryly, not seeming excessively thrilled. The doors from Gate Five slid open, immediately obvious was the fact that the competition arrived. A bald man, thickly build, led the way, carrying three bags like some sort of pack mule. Closely in-step with him was a woman, her hair a dingy blonde, their collective group only two fighters. Their uniform bore the crest of a metal globe with a sword through it, the emblem of Claiomh Solais.
-----The air hung thick with tension as they stopped walking, the two groups now an arm’s length away from one another. “Canaan Faulkner and Sarah Faulkner, Prince Roland.” The man’s voice was low and strong, thick and emotionless. As a sign of goodwill Roland stretched out his hand to shake Canaan’s, but he just looked at it as though he had to shake the hand of a corpse. “We shall meet again soon enough.” Canaan and Sarah both stalked past and out the door.
-----“I think I found priority target number one…” Varick said, smirking. The rest just glanced at the new warriors wearily before they vanished behind the bustling workers and out the door.
Ya'll know...first impressions of characters, how its introduced...etc..or any other major/minor flaws and all comment/cricism is welcome
Chapter 1
-----Roland glanced down upon the city from a high, ornate marble balcony, one hand resting causally on the railing. The city appeared so serene, life moving about as it always did for several decades now. Small, multicolored dots shot across the ground like a large ant colony. The man slowly closed his green eyes, as a small gust of wind came, ruffling his hair. “Precisely on time, as always, yes?” He slowly opened his eyes, not looking around. Another man, somewhat older than him stood back a few feet. “I thank you for coming.”
-----“Sir…” the other man began to say, but was quickly cut off.
-----“Permission to speak freely, granted. You are among friends; you need not be so stiff.”
-----Walking up slowly, the other man’s large, powerful form smoothly crossed down the stairs and up to the railing where his friend stood. He crossed his arms and leaned forward on the railing, stretching his uniform a bit across his back. “So, for what business do I owe the honor of being here?”
-----With a slight smile, Roland straightened and looked up at the dingy-gray overcast sky. “Before long, they will all be here, from across the Republic, the greatest warriors, vying to prove their ability before trillions of crazed fans.” He had yet to finish his sentence when he heard that all-too-familiar soft crackling sound of a starship exiting an artificial wormhole.
-----“I would assume you mean they are coming here, not to participate in combat, but rather to enjoy each other’s company before fighting. Is that correct, highness?” He too, looked up at the sound, as several more other soft crackles followed, sounding not unlike firecrackers going off in the distance.
-----“That is one of the reasons I have called you here. During the Gladiator’s Ball, I wish you to address me as Roland, nothing more. Do not refer to me as ‘Prince Roland’ nor ‘highness’…”
-----“With all due respect sir, what you ask is near impossible. I only want to honor your position as the Terrain Republic Prince.”
-----“Yet I want to establish a mindset that we are all equals, particularly during the games. Social rank and status do nothing for a combatant, whether behind the controls of a fighter, or an Esion. No rules, apart from those created to keep the competitors alive, benefit any faction. Is that too much of a request for an old friend and former cadet, Korit?”
-----“No, sir, I suppose not.” He ran his thick fingers through his trim jet-black hair, slicking it back a little. “Is it correct to assume you wish for Varick to do the same?”
-----Grinning a little, Roland smoothed out the left sleeve of his ceremonial silk jacket. “Correct. Not only Varick, but Callista as well. I do not mind if other addresses me by ‘prince’, I only hope that by fellow team members addressing me casually that it will establish a sense of ease.”
-----Korit laughed, his deep, typically mellow tones booming off the marble walls before echoing out over the city, only to be drowned out by the noise of everyday life. “Ah yes, of course, I forgot about the girl…last time you saw her, I believe, was nearly six months ago? Has she improved in her abilities in standard gravity fields?”
-----“I have heard little about it since then. Only that she recently graduated from the starship academy, approximately a year ahead. Hopefully she will not let that make her headstrong; we cannot afford to be cocky, even in simulated combat.”
-----“Tell that to Varick…” Korit muttered under his breath. Not moving his head, but glancing sideways, Korit could feel Roland’s own jade green eyes bore into his own, not in anger, but more of rebuke for speaking out against another officer.
-----“If you have an issue with another officer, or even a soldier, feel free to discuss it with them, but do not attack them behind their back like some kind of guerrilla fighter.” An awkward silence followed for a few minutes, neither person speaking a word. A slight hissing sound came from behind them, the five-panel door sliding smoothly open, followed by the reinforced bars opening to conform to the shape of the person coming through. “You may speak.”
-----A cool, female voice answered them, stiff with military precision. “Prince Roland, Sir Korit, your presence is requested at the spaceport to greet the first guests arriving.”
-----“Very well then, prepare a hovercar to take us there. No escort will be necessary.”
-----“Understood, sir.” She bowed as the doors hissed again to admit her back into the palace. Roland stood up straight and turned towards the door, silently moving up the small set of stairs, pausing in-between the marble columns that served as supports for the balcony awning.
-----“Are you going to come?” He asked casually, adjusting his collar slightly. Nodding curtly, Korit stood straight as well and followed. “Keep in mind again, avoid excessive formalities.” The door hissed shut behind them, a security camera’s ever-vigilant eye continuing to pan over the balcony.
-----Approximately half an hour later, Korit, Roland, and Varick sat in the back seat of a luxurious, leather-seated Eni hovercar. The vehicle easily cruised along the causeway, bearing towards the bridge which connected the mainland to the large, military-grade spaceport, an artificial island meant to limit accessibility from the ground. “Do we have any clue who’s even getting here?”
-----Both Roland and Korit seemed to make slight motions of unease upon Varick’s use of a contraction. Using contractions, slang, and the like was a more lazy way of speaking, and greatly frowned upon by the military and other high-end organizations. “First is the final member of our team, from Luna. Her name is Callista. As for the second, they herald from Claiomh Solais itself, called the Five Ring Avengers.” Roland answered quickly, trying to cover up Varick’s sloppy speech.
-----“Who is…sorry…” The sarcasm clearly evident in Varick’s voice, he took another sip from his drink, his brown eyes seeming to glower out from under his messy black hair. He sat against the side wall of the vehicle, across from Roland and Korit. Fortunately, the wall dividing the driver and the passengers in the back was, for the most part, soundproof. “I see no need to cater to the opposition…” Roland just shook his head at this comment, letting it fly over his head instead of getting into an argument.
-----The hovercar slowed down and came to a stop at a platform in the middle of the bridge, a large metal arch moving over it, scanning the names and IDs of the people inside, as well as checking for abnormalities in the vehicle, abnormalities that could be anything from a minor light blow-out to a reactor leak. The tiny fusion engine roared again as it sped along the last stretch of the bridge, nearing the spaceport. Ships of every imaginable shape and size could take off, land, refuel in-air, or simply drop passengers off. A large concourse which stretched from one end to the other provided human and small vehicle passage from the landing field and the large parking lot.
-----Crawling to a stop, the hovercar touched down and the driver shut the engine off, unlocking the doors and rushing out of his seat to open the passenger doors for his special guests. The weather out at the spaceport was different than at the palace. Here the sun beamed brightly through a few patchy clouds, the deep blue ocean sparkling as though it were made of sapphire. The only disturbances apart from the waves were a few higher-class citizens taking their yachts out to enjoy a beautiful day.
-----Roland exited first, followed by the hulking form of Korit, and finally the leaner, yet trim Varick. Their royal blue uniforms, embroidered with gold and trimmed in soft crimson colors stood out in stark contrast to the drab uniforms of spaceport personnel. The doors here, made of bulletproof glass and lined in steel frames slide open to admit them inside. A glass elevator slowly descended into the lobby, the only passenger a female, wearing the jade and silver-trimmed outfit of a fighter pilot. She smiled and saluted, her lavender eyes beaming happily.
-----Unintentionally ignoring the formality of saluting in return as a sign of respect, he immediately moved forward to help the woman with her luggage, a set of military-issue bags: light, but waterproof and strong. By the way she moved she was resisting the urge to embrace Roland, but instead shook his hand, avoiding casual circumstances in a public setting from military personnel.
-----Another dull thudding sound interrupted the happy reunion as another ship touched down, by the sound of it, at least a cruiser-class. An automated voice came from ceiling-mounted speakers. “Arriving at gate five, Transport Ramses, from Claiomh Solais.”
-----Walking forward to join Roland and the new troop, Varick tailed Korit. “From the sounds of it, I would say that our friends from the tournament world are here.” Varick smiled dryly, not seeming excessively thrilled. The doors from Gate Five slid open, immediately obvious was the fact that the competition arrived. A bald man, thickly build, led the way, carrying three bags like some sort of pack mule. Closely in-step with him was a woman, her hair a dingy blonde, their collective group only two fighters. Their uniform bore the crest of a metal globe with a sword through it, the emblem of Claiomh Solais.
-----The air hung thick with tension as they stopped walking, the two groups now an arm’s length away from one another. “Canaan Faulkner and Sarah Faulkner, Prince Roland.” The man’s voice was low and strong, thick and emotionless. As a sign of goodwill Roland stretched out his hand to shake Canaan’s, but he just looked at it as though he had to shake the hand of a corpse. “We shall meet again soon enough.” Canaan and Sarah both stalked past and out the door.
-----“I think I found priority target number one…” Varick said, smirking. The rest just glanced at the new warriors wearily before they vanished behind the bustling workers and out the door.
Ya'll know...first impressions of characters, how its introduced...etc..or any other major/minor flaws and all comment/cricism is welcome
