Recovering...

crcook84

crcook84

Member
Not much has happened the day after. I suggested to my dad that he go to work as occupational therapy. However, because he feels so empty without mom, he feels the need to be home because being around me and my sister help to remind him of mom.

We went to the hospital to collect mom's things, went to the doctor to schedule a TB appointment as well as get a physical, and we went to the insurance company to take mom off the plan. We discovered that her life plan allowed for $25k. So, that will help pay off the medical bills.

When we got home, we went through mom's stuff to make sure it was all together. Unfortunately, her cell phone got lost. My dad told the hospital and they're working on looking for it. We tried calling it. But, either, the battery is dead or it's turned off. I'm hoping that she touched enough people that they'll work hard to find the cell phone. If not, we'll have to disable it on the plan.

I thought about what she might have on it. But, the thing is she hardly did stuff with her netbook or desktop computer. She would mainly get on to check the traffic for dad, go online shopping, or pay the bills. As such, if nothing else, I would just want to save the 32 GB SD card so that my sister can use it with her music.

We started thinking about things we could do with her stuff (donations, convert her old room, etc.). But, I think it's still too raw to even think about that.

My dad works at Daystar TV and, when Marcus and Joni Lamb heard about this, they offered to do something in her name. At the moment, we're thinking about them donating to our local cherity. Other ideas are welcome.

As I was going over all my old messages I had sent between her and me over the last few months, I realized that there was stuff I might want to save. Fortunately, I found an app that allowed me to take all the SMS messages and dump them into Gmail. I them downloaded them via THunderbird to my PC for safe keeping. As I was going through the stuff, I found one text conversation that was going on while I was grocery shopping. she wanted me to buy a specific brand of orange juice. I knew what the product was. I just couldn't name the brand. At that moment, for some reason, I just broke down crying. I don't know if it was because I couldn't remember the brand or because we each had our own vitamin C drinks we liked and her's wasn't on the list. I eventually found out it was Texsun. I want to say that there's nothing wrong with not buying that brand anymore. But, why does that feel wrong? Other foods she said she liked we all liked. So, why does this one think bother me?

At the same time, I was thinking about the fact that her voice was on the answering machine for answering messages. I knew that we had a CD with videos my grandfather ripped some years ago. I haven't looked through them all. But, we've got recordings from 1994 to 2000. I asked them how they felt about it, whether or not the only recordings we had of mom were old or new, and they seemed okay with it. So, even if we lose the message on the answering machine, we still have the videos.

I did find myself going through a range of emotions. I wasn't feeling the frustration I described in the other forum. It was more like fatigue. As dad repeated the story of what happened ot mom at every location we went, I found myself getting emotionally strung. I know he's upset. But, you kind of get to the point where you can get tired of hearing the same story over and over again, especially when you want to move on. I mentioned that I cried. But, one thing I found myself feeling was terrified. I still needed my mom's help to read how she inputted things in Quicken almost before she got the TB. What if I don't figure out what some things are and it screws up our payments? Fortunately, my dad said that we would deal with it when it came up.

One thing my dad did say to us that helped was that he believes that our family who are in heaven can hear us. He's read a lot of stories about people coming back to life and they say that they can hear their family from the other side. So, he was okay with us talking to her and he even told my sister that mom is watching the TV shows they used to watch together with her. I'm not sure what I would say to her though. It's not that we weren't close. But, the only times we talk was to have a candid conversation about something random. Obviously, she and dad were close and she and my sister were close because they were girls (fortunately, my aunt is willing to step up to fill this spot). But, as for me, I just found it easier to talk to people on the forums I visit as well as the VoIP chat rooms because they were, either, guys or nerds.
 
My sister and I were going to spend the weekend at my aunts house (the 17th and the 18th). We'd head over Friday morning and head back Saturday night. That way, we would still be home for my dad. It was actually rather nice to be out of the house. We spend Friday just lounging around and relaxing, not having to worry about anything and just being able to decompress. I thought about the foods mom liked and decided that it was okay if we didn't buy some of them. For all we know, she just bought them out of convenience.

Around dinner time, my aunt and uncle decided to take us out to eat. I was slowly getting my appetite back. I had a breakfast Hot Pocket that I didn't entirely finish and I was slowly eating a leftover pizza around lunch time. So, me and my sister decided to give it a try. Then, suddenly, my dad messaged us saying that he was coming right over. Apparently, my aunt accidentally invited him over. I didn't mind spending time with my dad. He was just dealing with this on a whole other level compared with me and my sister and we didn't know how to help him.

When we all went home, he and my uncle started discussing everything all over again. I tried to zone it out of my mind. However, I decided to listen in on some of it to see what all they were discussing. Apparently, he had gone to see several counselors already and he felt like they weren't of any help (I don't know if this was before or after). They also discussed how rough his childhood was. Without giving up too much detail, I'd say child abuse and parental neglect applied to his situation. By the time he met my mom, he was suicidal. She was the one who helped him out of it. So, that tells you how close they were.

I used to watch YouTube videos for enjoyment as well as white noise at night. But, now, it's more of a distraction to try to help me get through the day.
 
I have a habit of zoning out to youtube videos as well. Distracting fluff. Sounds like your Dad really needs you right now not that you aren't having your own problems but sometimes helping distracting another from their pain can help you get your mind off your own.
 
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I am deeply grieved to hear of your loss. Please know that I and others in our community are praying for you and at the ready to do anything and everything in our power to help.
 
January 18, 2014
My dad stayed overnight just to be with us. It wasn't until my sister was going to arrive around 10 this morning that my dad took off to make sure to see her there. I was still eating just to eat. It took me a while because I still feared the idea of cooking for my dad because he was a lousy cook. I talked with my uncle about what he and my dad talked about. He agreed with my concern that my dad needed help.

We went shopping for a couple of things and then my uncle taught me a few recipes as well as how to cut an onion and break a garlic clove. We made a few things and ate a sampler of it before mellowing out before heading back home.

When we got home, we saw a complete 180 of my dad. He was so much more happy than we've seen him in months. Plus, because my sister was there, we were able to hammer out a number of recipes for stuff my mom used to make down to the specific dressing she used. We had a great night laughing over comedy DVDs (Bananas Christian Comedy if you were wondering) and Carol Burnett. By the time the night was done, we had a plan for my married sister to come up more often (to help clean up the house and some other things), and for me to rig a gaming system and VoIP server together so that we could play PC or Wii between our house and theirs. Furthermore, my dad plans on spending more time with us.

Also, we ordered pizza online. It was a long time since we got pizza because I was always bringing it home from the community outreach I volunteer for. When he went to go get it, the lady responded, "I haven't seen you in a long time." Apparently, she's been working there all these years and still remembered him. As he got the stuff he ordered, She told him he should call it in next time and get a better deal. Apparently, he could have gotten 2 pizzas for $10 as compared with the $15-$20 it cost him to order it online.
 
January 19th
I woke up this morning at 6:00 AM. The house was freezing cold. So, I quickly put on my lounge pants, socks, and a t-shirt just so I could get a good night’s sleep. I knew I would be doing two things today. I had a bill I was working on trying to get on auto pay. Actually, I've been trying to get everything on auto pay since my mom got sick. Now, it just seems like an easy way to make sure bills get paid in case I forget.

(Feel free to make any comments about that. However, please, also, keep in mind that my mind is in survival mode right now.)

I looked on the website and the bill still wasn't paid. I finally found some literature that said it would be good to keep paying the bill until the next statement shows auto payment activated. So, I pay the bill.

As I'm going through things (like deactivating my mom's cell) and everyone is getting around me at the computer, I have to tell everyone to stop so that I can watch Ed Young. Yes, I like Ed Young. No, I will not argue it. Period. So, I spend the next hour watching him in the living room via a computer setup where I hooked a computer into the TV so that we could watch movies, live steams, or anything else. The only downside is I'm going from a DVI connection to an HDMI input. So, the only way to have audio is to connect an optical cable from a sound card into our surround receiver.

(This is not mean to be bragging as much as to remark that something I had implemented some years back had finally come in handy. Well, it came in handy before as I was helping my dad relax as my mom was sick by showing episodes of Sons of Guns I downloaded.)

After that was over, we got to work on my mom's bedroom to convert it into a guest room. We got rid of a King size bed my mom held onto for so long. Actually, she was thinking of getting rid of it while she was sick because it was more of a hindrance as she...healed. Of course, the hard part will be getting it out of the house and transported to goodwill or someone else. With it being my mom's room, I really didn't have anything I was interested in. I suspect I might receive her netbook. The thing is I never really liked those things all that much. I may get her DELL XPS that she was planning on using to make videos of my dad's photos.

One thing I voiced a concern about was being able to feed my dad and sister. It was one thing to keep everyone fed while my mother was sick. But, now, I have to think about making sure everyone's nutrition is well balanced. Basically, being in "survival" mode. Fortunately, my sister offered to email me a list of items rich in protein. This way, I don't have to worry about being stocked on meats.

My dad wanted to work on arranging the funeral. One thing he thought about doing was talking about what she went through in and out of the hospital. The story he wrote was up to 20 pages long. He said that individuals he knew as being very stoic would break down crying after reading it. I commented that, if he did that, I couldn't be there. My older sister voiced that the memorial should be about remembering happy memories. But, she suggested that the story could be offered as booklets to hand out. As it was getting near 6, my sister and brother-in-law had to leave.

After we ate and we were watching TV, my dad was going on about wanting to do a lot of things with us. We knew he was in mourning. But, we felt like we couldn't help him on the level that he needed. I then breached the subject of grief counseling. That's when he told us why he was crying so much.

Dad had a crappy childhood. When mom met him, he was suicidal and having a rough time. My mother said that he needed to change if they were going to be together. My dad asked his mom for help and she gave him flash cards with Bible verses and it chased away the demons. He was elected for prayer group. One day, he felt a weight on his neck that weighed him down so much he couldn't breathe. Mom told someone, who told someone else, until it got around the room and everyone started praying.
Suddenly, he could breathe again. She could have been a model. Instead, she told my dad that she'd rather have a family. My older sister took 13 hours to be delivered. I took 10. She nearly died giving birth to my younger sister. There were some more details. But, this should give you an idea of what she went through.

When 20th Century Fox bought the right to transfer STAR WARS to home video format, my dad saw a news article saying that Fox was hiring engineers. Well, my dad was already taking photos of my mom and working with photography. So he decided to give it a shot. He submitted his resume to Fox and told them what he could do. They hired him to supervise film to tape transfers and then sent him to train in New York on a Rank Cintel Mark 3.

One of the main problems with STAR WARS was that they didn't know how to transfer a film to video tape. CBS/FOX figured out a way. I can't remember what all it was. I just remember that it had to do with a input/output system they managed to rig to work. They Fedex the tape to George Lucas who would view it and either okay or reject the transfer. STAR WARS was the first movie mixed into surround sound for VHS as well as the first movie transferred with a digital soundtrack. Bob Snider, who worked for LucasFilm at the time, came over to CBS/FOX and trained my dad to become THX certified. He was one of the first people certified in the country.

After CBS/FOX closed, the crew felt so bad for my dad that they gave him all the VHS/Betas they produced while they worked there, something my dad treasured. When I found STAR WARS, my dad said I thorouly enjoyed them and he was proud that he could bring something home to me to enjoy. I've still held onto some of them (one of which is an early transfer of STAR WARS to letterbox for VHS). As for the other employees, I'm told by my dad that those individuals are on a much higher level of experience.

As we were growing up, my mom made sure we all grew up at our own pace. She allowed our creativity to flourish. I don't remember all the details. But, that's why she pulled me and my younger sister out of the school system after one school was changing in a weird way and the next school failed to help me when I needed it. She homeschooled us from then on. They thought it would be expensive. But, the money that would have gone to school then went to buying as many homeschooling books as they could.

In the end, my mom supported every single thing all of us did. We all have the drive and creativity that we have because of my mom. As such, when my dad cries, it's because he sees my mom in all of us.

When my older sister came by, she sat down and started bawling because she wanted a dad again. Now, she didn't want a dad in the traditional sense. She wanted a "daddy". As such, my dad is going to put a concerted effort into being a better father. He did inform me that I'm not covered insofar as health insurance goes. But, my younger sister was because of a change in laws. Fortunately, I'm rather robust.

We finished it off by him saying that he felt like he owed us for what we have become and what we did as a family. Well, the first thought that came to my mind was helping me keep my bank account afloat. But, we're going to wait for funeral charges and other medical bills to come in before making any financial decisions. One thing he did offer was that, when next Christmas came by, he offered to buy us weapons. I'll admit that I enjoy guns. But, I don't feel the need to own one. So, we'll figure that out. My sister didn't like guns. But, she enjoyed bows and arrows.

We touched on church. My dad said that he and mom left because the church they were attending was changing. In his mind, the New Testament said that church was meant to be a small house gathering of people. Most churches nowadays are too big for that. I told him that I started watching Ed Young because, at the time, I felt I had walked away from the church long enough to recover from the hypocrisy I felt from several ministries I worked for and was ready to come back. I had told mom that I was interested in a specific type of pastor and she directed me to Ed Young. I tried keeping up with him being on Daystar. But, then they took him off the air. I tried watching him on YouTube. But, I could never remember to watch it. Then, I discovered they were live streaming. So, I watched that this morning.

I also said about how I was attending an online Bible study and prayer meeting. As such, he did not have to start attending church again if he didn't want to. I just thought it would do us some good to attend grief counseling. All three of us agreed to do that at our local church.

You know, I was worried about going on because, if something should happen to my dad, where would me and my sister be? Now, I wonder if there was a reason for God not allowing me to get a job. Whatever the reason is, we're going to take this all one day at a time and draw closer as a family.

I did notice that, by the end of the night, his crying had subsided quite a bit.
 
Aw man, I missed your post on the other thread. I caught the one where you "got more information." I knew that wasn't good, my did went like that but it took longer. Anyhow I am grieved by your loss. I will pray for you and your family. I know what it's like to loose a parent especially after a hospital stay (and the roller coaster of good days and bad days). People will say she's in a better place and her pain is gone (which it is) but that doesn't make it hurt any less. Rely on God, be there for your dad and sisters.
 
January 20th, 2014

Today went by more smoothly. The worst part was the allergens in the air. I messaged my dad the allergens in the air and he was like “No wonder.” So, obviously, he was suffering as well. My sister and I did some more clean-up. We made sure that we didn’t over exert ourselves because my dad wanted us to have doctor appointments to get TB injections to see if we had it (because mom did). He also thought about us having physicals. But, our doctor doesn’t think that that’s necessary.

Before we went, I found I got a message from someone last night whom I hadn’t heard in several years: my girlfriend. She left because she was dealing with complications resulting from coming off of anti-depressants. Mainly, SSRI discontinuation syndrome. She said that, after she heard from our pastor (I asked him to talk to her), he did a sermon on Saul, David, and Jonathan. The emphasis was that Jonathan and David remained friends despite everything. This got her thinking of our friendship. Hearing from her has alleviated a lot of the weight I was feeling from all of this. She told me about how my mother made her feel like a daughter. That reminded me of what she did for my family.

When I had my own ordeal I was dealing with some ten years ago, No one in my family could help me, even my mother. She came in at the right time to help me work through my depression. As such, my mother was grateful to her for helping me. What I found interesting was that she ended her message with “Love Kelly”. As interesting as this is, it’s too early to think about it. Plus, I don’t want to scare her off.

I talked to my dad about width drawing the money in my bank account, closing it, and just keeping the money in his account. The thing is, even if I had a job before, it would have been a temp job or a part time job because of the economy. As such, I, probably, would have been asked to resign it to help at home. If my mom survived, I would have been tasked with getting her back and forth to chemo and helping out at home. With me being the one who will handle the finances, grocery shopping, and cooking at home (and that’s not even counting hoping I can help my dad and sister on an emotional basis), the last thing I need to worry about is my own money, which reduces by $6 each month if I don’t have a job.

My dad resolved to get a lot of things out of the garage. Tomorrow, I have a whole lot of boxes to break down and recycle.

The one miracle we got today is that my grandmother offered to pay funeral expenses. My dad is thinking of us going by her apartment on Friday with sandwiches to keep her company. The problem is that she started getting in his face about how he failed to do his job because the house isn’t clean and neither me nor my sister have jobs, non of which she has any business telling us what to do.

My dad didn’t cry as much today. Either that or I didn’t see it. It was much easier to want to watch stuff with him on TV. During that, we talked about converting mom’s old room to a game/guest room. It already has a TV and DVD player. We have some Wideband Pro-grade switches. They’re callable of 1+ Gig speed. I plan on wiring the existing Ethernet devices into it and adding our Wii and a laptop for Skyping while we play multiplayer games with my sister’s family.
 
January 21st

The day was rather uneventful. Things got going when we went to Grief Share that is part of the church we used to go to. The best part is that they were meeting at our local Wycliffe center (someplace where my family is well known). So, whether or not it’s part of the church, they were familiar with our family.

What I was hoping for was that my dad would start to find a resolve in being able to talk to fellow grievers as well as adults. He says he does most of his crying in the car and ends up leaving around noon because he feels depression coming on. I found myself crying during the Grief Share video watching other people talking about their own grief. I’m usually not that affected by someone telling their own story. I guess going through an ordeal can help you appreciate someone else’s grief. Even more surprising, my sister, who happens to be very shy, was opening up quite a bit. We talk about our feelings. We, especially, talked about how we pulled together over the weekend.

Aside from the plans we were already making to continue maintaining the household. I found out that there were some other projects my younger sister was planning on continuing. She was going to learn sowing so that she could finish a project our mother was working on for her grandchildren. She was going to ask our aunt for help. But, at the meeting, one of the individuals mentioned about how there was a seamstress at Faith who didn’t mind teaching her. Well, we already had a sowing machine, a table to put it on, and another table that could be folded out. Plus, the guest/gaming room was now roomy enough to do that.

Then, when we got home, we took stock of our freezers to see what all we had and what we would need to buy. I voiced my concern about being able to plan healthy meals so that we would get all the proper food groups. My sister then mentioned about how I could have a meal calendar and purchase food around that.
 
January 22, 2014

We went to the doctor today. We're TB free. My dad also considered us getting physicals. But, in reality, he's the only one who needs one to maintain the insurance. Plus, me and my sister are healthy enough that we shouldn't have to worry about it.

We got rid of our king size bed. My mother liked it and that's why we kept it. But, during her treatment, even she admitted that it was rather inconvenient. We found a $50 fold out bed/sofa at Wal-mart that we plan on buying for the guest/game room. However, we need to get rid of more furniture first. But, before that, we need to prepare to host some relatives for the memorial service.

As we were going through doctor bills, we suddenly realized we could wait to pay things off until two of my dad's paychecks came in and we got the life insurance. I talked to my dad more about how I have to pay $6 a month or use my debit card 5-6 times to not have to pay it. The thing is that was before when I was doing errands for my mom and she could reimburse me. If I do anything, if having a checking account at my dad's bank doesn't cost me to have the account, I may just switch. I just chose Chase because they have branches everywhere. Plus, my dad is willing to help me get it back up to a more comfortable level.

As for hosting people, we'll be having my sister's family (a husband and 2 daughters) and my dad's sister (herself and her son). On that note, we're trying to find some comfortable beds for them to sleep on. My sister came up with getting a cheap inflatable bed. I thought about us borrowing some foam from our local Wycliffe warehouse. At the same time, we have some sofas that they can sleep on.

As this is going on, my sister has talked about working at Half-Priced Books. However, we're also working towards getting her a driver's license. I've thought about going back to job hunting. But, with trying to organize the house insofar as cooking (especially learning), grocery shopping, keeping up with the bills (medical in particular), and trying to setup the technical side of the guest/gaming room, it's not something I want to think about. However, considering the fact that I was in the proper position to fill in when I did, I wonder if God even wants me to look for a job right now.

The Bible says "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." Everything needed to function on a daily basis came in exactly when and where it needed to. The only thing we really need to do is get closer as a family.
 
January 23, 2014

Today was rather normal. I worked on a couple of YouTube videos to take my mind off of things. We did further arrangements for the memorial service. Mainly who will sleep where while the extended family is down here (of which I’m not even sure if my dad knows).

We did buy at least one inflatable mattress because it was only $10. We were going to buy an inflatable sofa/bed. But, the store was sold out. Fortunately, my grandmother has some resources so that we’ll have plenty when our relatives come down.

I cooked for the first time since my mom passed…It just felt weird. Before, I was cooking until mom got well. Now, I’m cooking to keep people fed. Fortunately, there’s a lot of free food coming from people who liked my dad which should help keep us fed as I readjust.

My dad talked some more about him making plans for when he dies. I know it’s just a matter of him signing the dotted line and then we don’t have to worry about it anymore. But, I’m rather sensitive to the topic in light of not having a job.
 
crcook84 said:
My dad talked some more about him making plans for when he dies. I know it’s just a matter of him signing the dotted line and then we don’t have to worry about it anymore. But, I’m rather sensitive to the topic in light of not having a job.
Click to expand...

Random thought: You should tell him you still need him for future advice on girls, or advice on living, or to give hugs, or to be best man if you ever get married (assuming you don't have a friend you want for that position) or give away your sister at her wedding, etc. You know for things not related to just money but for irreplaceable Dad jobs. Anyway it doesn't sound like he's suicidal or anything, and wants to be there for you guys, but it's still a reassuring thing to hear how much you are needed even if it's obvious.
 
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January 24, 2014

To say that today went smoothly would depend on your point of view.

My dad texted us to say that he was coming home early with a surprise. A lot of the women at his job got together to make some meals which should last us a long time.

At the same time, he told us that one of his brother’s family, the house they were living in burned to the ground the night before. All they have are the clothes on their backs. The first thought was to send my mom’s clothes up right away. I then mentioned about how our local outreach sells clothing at a heavy discount. I emailed them and they told us to go over within a certain time frame. At the same time, my dad is working on sending his brother a check. He’s not certain how bad off his brother is now. For all he knows, his brother and his family are now destitute. However, I found a Facebook post where someone has already setup a recovery fund to help them out. If you’re interested in donating, here’s the link:
http://www.gofundme.com/6fzvyk?fb_a...ction_type_map=["og.likes"]&action_ref_map=[]

Our pastor came by to talk about our mother and the memorial service. There wasn’t too much to talk about. Although, he made notes to make a program and then he’ll email that to my dad.

Me and my sister are, also, working on the memorial. She’s ripping music from CDs to play at a display stand and I’ll be scanning photos for my dad to turn into a slide show.

Near the end of the night, I got my dad’s attention long enough to show him something I found online: ZipList.com. It’s a site where you can make a grocery list as well as organize meals. I plan on using it in the long run to keep a record of groceries we would normally buy as well as make a schedule for what foods I should buy when. What’s more, you can share your list with someone else registered and you can both modify the list.
 
January 25, 2014

Things sort of came to a head today. We were going to go grocery shopping and I tried everything I could to prepare a list the night before. However, when we got to the store, my dad sort of took over. Before, I was able to do all the grocery shopping. But, he just felt the need to do this with us. We were in the meat isle trying to find some specific meat. He asked me what we were looking for and I told him. He asked that question 3 times until I became, in his words, “terse”. He then went into giving me a lecture in the store. Eventually, I got him to where we were able to get out of the store and we talk some more in the car. He treated me like I was treating him badly despite him bending over backwards just to keep the family moving (in reality, Cathy and I were keeping up the house for 5 months and now he feels the need to step in). Finally, I just flat out said, “You know, we’re trying so hard to keep going and being closer to each other under stressful conditions that we may be pushing too hard and are now causing each other friction.” Fortunately, he agreed.

Later on, I commented that it probably didn't help that we were talking while near the freezer and it was making a lot of noise.

Other things that happened were that we got clothes from Outreach. That in itself was amazing. It doesn't cost as much to buy stuff from Outreach because they sell stuff at a heavy discount. However, because I told them that we needed to buy clothes in bulk for my family, when my dad was about to check out, one of the ladies in charge made sure he was my dad and said that the clothes were free of charge. Apparently, our family has done really good by them. Now, we just need an address to ship to.

My dad, also, brought home my mom’s Urn. At first, I was apprehensive of the idea until I discovered that he brought home a treasure box looking Urn. Now, it’s not so weird. He asked us what kind of jewelry we would want to put in it. Well, I didn't really have anything. There were these earrings she wore that looked Native American. It had this picture of an Indian in the middle and cyan, teardrop stones in the shape of a V underneath the head. I remembered it only because it seemed loud to me. Otherwise, what I remember about my mom was that she needed her styluses to use her Smartphone. You wouldn't see her Smartphone without, at least, one stylus.

We, also, made spaghetti squash. It involves squash, meat, and onions. My main problem was that my dad wanted to make it without knowing what he was doing. That came to a head as well. My dad said, “Don’t you trust me?” I said, “This isn't about trust. This is about getting it right.” He went a rather round-about way as well. We had a squash my mom bought some time ago. We didn't know if it was still good. Fortunately, the most I was able to do to help was cut the onions. I’ll admit, they irritate my eyes. But, not that badly. Then, instead of waiting for a specific time to cook the additional ingredients, he cooked everything else at once. Furthermore, instead of breaking up the meat, he smooshed it into the onions. I did get one thing on him. I told him that she used a bigger skillet. He said we didn't have one. I pulled out two that were the exact size I saw her using. So, he put everything in that.

One thing we discovered was that we didn't have enough meat. We bought 2 32 oz packs of meat. But, he opted to only use one. Fortunately, I had enough information to make a makeshift recipe for spaghetti squash. At the same time, I was making a recipe for potato soup. We were able to remember most of the ingredients except for what the broth was. At the moment, the only things that come to mind are milk, flour, and chicken broth. It may not even be all three.
 
Well if you need any tips on Hamburger Helper I'm your guy but beyond what you can do in a microwave I'd probably burn water XD.
 
If you guys aren't opposed to freezing meals, there are several folks on the internet who have methods for essentially cooking for a month and freezing it. Its still all good home cooked stuff, just things that are freezable.
 
Thanks for the tips. We, actually, took stock of the stuff we normally eat and realized that there are a lot of easy to make dinners (or parts that can be easily put together later) we enjoy eating. Like Stoffers, Hamburger Helper, Rice-a-Roni, Pasta-Roni, Fast Fixin, and a bunch of other brands. Plus, I can go by our local outreach and pick up pizzas up to two times a week. We got a special deal going on with Pizza Hut where we take their overflow and give it out to the needy. As for me taking some, either I take it or it gets thrown out.

Plus, they give out hams to the volunteers every Christmas. We, finally, got around to taking ours apart and put serving sizes into ziplock bags. I think we counted 6 meals out of that.
 
January 26, 2014

I watched Ed Young today with my dad. I didn't think he'd be too interested in him. But, he asked me to live-stream him in the living room every time he was on. Afterwards, I took some time to reconfigure our surround receiver. The system was pretty much ready. It just needed to be optimized so that it would be easy to use.

The items I said my dad brought home, one of them was lasagna. I cooked it today. Fortunately, it was rather automatic. It had everything and just needed to be cooked. Because we're eating smaller portions, I divided it into 12 servings (well, 4 when spread across 3 people). We have enough food to last a while.

We ordered an inflatable soda/bed online last week in preparation for people coming for the funeral, as well as some long-term plans we have. In the meantime, we bought an inflatable mattress for $10. Unfortunately, we hadn't checked it yet. The only way I knew to check it was to pull out my dad's air compressor and just start filling it.

We got some Gigabit Wideband switches from my dad's job, I think, last summer. Either he grabbed them or the company would have just thrown them out. One of the main issues was the fans were incredibly noisy. At first, I had the idea of using sowing oil to lube the fans because it worked with some computer fans I have. But, that didn't last long. I don't know how the conversation started. But, we talked about it and I said that I needed a lubricant that was longer lasting. He suggested that I used his graphite lubricant. But, he couldn't find it. So, I got the idea to just go over to Harbor Freight to find something. This is what I found (in case anyone is interested):
Super Lube - Synthetic Grease - with Syncolon

As for lubing the fans, that's easy. I first lubed a fan several years ago. I wanted to keep the ones I had so that I didn't have to buy new ones. After some finagling, I discovered that the label on some fans hides a hole with direct access to the internal motor. Some fans may contain a plunger you'll have to pull out. So, I peeled it back, dropped some sewing oil in, and it sounded much better. Unfortunately, the oil would evaporate or something because it would sound bad again in about a year. Now, I use this lube stuff I found. They're still noisy. But, they're much quieter. Furthermore, my dad complimented me on how I was able to come up with something that even the engineers at the company he works for were never able to figure out. He even thinks they sound quieter than when they were first purchased. He was thinking of selling them. But, now that they sound so much better, he's changed his mind.

Back in December, when things were a little hectic with my grandfather's passing. Someone called asking for help with their computer stuff. I told them that we were really busy and couldn't help. They called again today. This completely blew my mind. This time, I took on the job. The problem is that their old computer had some music and videos they want to retrieve. Unfortunately, the laptop keep crashing or they get the blue screen of death. I was having trouble understanding at first. But, I got a better picture now. They want me to retrieve their iTunes stuff and put it on another laptop where they can get easy access to it. Fortunately, that's just a matter of finding the default folder location for iTunes. The best part about this is, I think they got the information from the company website my dad let me setup to have some freelance money. You know, if I was expecting a sign from God as to what He wanted me to do, this is coming in loud and clear.
 
January 27, 2014

My dad has done a few more account tweaks. I am now the secondary insofar as a name on his bank account is concerned. He has, also, started the proceedings to cash the life insurance policy on mom. He says that there is one more hospital bill that needs to be paid. However, it's been about a week and a half. There were two other bills that came that we paid. So, I don't know what he's waiting for. We didn't get my Chase account dealt with because he had to go to work. But, we might be able to deal with it online.

It doesn't help that the weather changed today and I'm feeling rather lousy.

My sister and I are now scanning photos of my mom for her memorial service. We were waiting for my dad to get back to work so that we could have the living room to have enough space. He won't be home until late. So, that gives us several hours to scan through a number of photo albums.

I convinced my dad tonight to let go of something. My mom had bought a dry erase board for writing down stuff we would need. Then, when it came time to buy groceries, she would buy food she planned on preparing as well as if we needed butter or deli meat. The last handwriting on it was hers. Dad wanted to save it. But, I showed him one of mom's handwritten recipes my older sister copied for me so that I would have some recipes. Once I digitize it, he can have it. I will admit that I have the tiniest fling of guilt for erasing it. But, in all truthfulness, she's written stuff in other places in far better handwriting than on that board.
 
January 28, 2014

Not too much happened today. In cleaning my room to make it a dressing room for family members coming down for the memorial, I found my good knife that I lost some 6-12 months ago. So, I’m happy about that. I did wire up our Wii to see if one of my ethernet-USB adapters would work and we wouldn’t have to buy a new one. (We’re setting it up to do WiFi gameplay between our house and my sister’s in an attempt to get our families closer together.) Unfortunately…no. At least there is the possibility of buying one from our local Gamestop.

If I was to say that we accomplished anything, it’s that we found my mom’s engagement ring. My dad commented about how he didn’t know where it was. The thing is, my mom was meticulous about her jewelry. So, my sister knew exactly where to look. Then, he commented about another ring, almost like he half-expected us to have found that one as well.

He finally looked at the pictures we scanned for the memorial service. It wasn’t until now that he told us he was looking for a specific picture. For some reason, he doesn’t give us more detail until after we’ve done a lot of hard work and time has passed that he admits that he was hoping that we’d find something in particular.
 
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