Singleness - Prayer request

Hebrews 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.

The church leaders you've gone to already have the answer you need. God has placed them over you for a reason and you need to obey them.

I graduated bible college in 2007. I wanted nothing more than to work full time in the ministry. My dream job was a missionary to the US military in Germany but I was willing to do anything. Over and over, God told me no. I went thru 3 different secular jobs always looking for something in the ministry and God always told me no. It wasn't until I stopped looking for what I wanted and accepted that I might do nothing more with my life than being a permanent layman in the church that the Lord gave me what I had always wanted.

Learn how to be happy where you are in life. Stop looking for what you want and ask God what He wants for you (which can be found by praying more, reading your bible more and by giving more of your life to God).

God once gave me what I thought I wanted. I had asked over and over and He told me no over and over. Finally He said yes. It was one of the most difficult and painful times in my life.

I pray God gives you peace and contentment in your life where you are at. I also pray He gives you a the perfect wife for you in His perfect time.
 
Wolfeman said:
Hebrews 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.

The church leaders you've gone to already have the answer you need. God has placed them over you for a reason and you need to obey them.

I graduated bible college in 2007. I wanted nothing more than to work full time in the ministry. My dream job was a missionary to the US military in Germany but I was willing to do anything. Over and over, God told me no. I went thru 3 different secular jobs always looking for something in the ministry and God always told me no. It wasn't until I stopped looking for what I wanted and accepted that I might do nothing more with my life than being a permanent layman in the church that the Lord gave me what I had always wanted.

Learn how to be happy where you are in life. Stop looking for what you want and ask God what He wants for you (which can be found by praying more, reading your bible more and by giving more of your life to God).

God once gave me what I thought I wanted. I had asked over and over and He told me no over and over. Finally He said yes. It was one of the most difficult and painful times in my life.

I pray God gives you peace and contentment in your life where you are at. I also pray He gives you a the perfect wife for you in His perfect time.
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I've seen this over and over again in working with the youth at our church. You have a very pretty young lady, or hansom young man who become obsessed with having a boy/girlfriend to the point that they sacrifice their values on the altar of what our society tells us a relationship is. I really think that trying too hard is actually counter productive when it comes to relationships (and to finding God's path for you). Thus I have quoted Wolfeman because he cuts to the heart of the matter.
 
Smiles........I have gone though many struggles myself over the years and the best advice I can tell you is this. God's timing not ours. He will fill your hearts desires when He has made you ready for them. He put it better than the words I can come up with: A time for everything Ecc:3.

Trust me sometimes it is better to wait.

Blessings and Hugs, "Angel"

PS All prayers are welcome because sometimes it's easier with others praying for you too. When God does move to answer this prayer either in a minute or many years from now, please take a moment and remember to come back and sing His praises too.
 
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Wolfeman said:
Hebrews 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.

The church leaders you've gone to already have the answer you need. God has placed them over you for a reason and you need to obey them.

I graduated bible college in 2007. I wanted nothing more than to work full time in the ministry. My dream job was a missionary to the US military in Germany but I was willing to do anything. Over and over, God told me no. I went thru 3 different secular jobs always looking for something in the ministry and God always told me no. It wasn't until I stopped looking for what I wanted and accepted that I might do nothing more with my life than being a permanent layman in the church that the Lord gave me what I had always wanted.

Learn how to be happy where you are in life. Stop looking for what you want and ask God what He wants for you (which can be found by praying more, reading your bible more and by giving more of your life to God).

God once gave me what I thought I wanted. I had asked over and over and He told me no over and over. Finally He said yes. It was one of the most difficult and painful times in my life.

I pray God gives you peace and contentment in your life where you are at. I also pray He gives you a the perfect wife for you in His perfect time.
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Hi Wolfeman,

Thanks for the reply! However, I think I should clarify. I was not referring to "church leaders" at my own church personally, but to the American evangelical church as a whole. The leaders at my own church have been rather silent about this issue, actually.

And are you saying that your life became painful when God said yes? Or before, when He was saying no?

Thanks again,

-TC
 
TheComposer88 said:
I've always wanted to meet a beautiful, intelligent, wonderful Christian woman who can put up with me (haha, good luck to her).
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Not really a good sign. Granted, we all have issues, but you put it like you are difficult to get along with. Have you tried examining your own life and attempting to correct areas which may be undesirable rather than hoping to find someone who will "put up with it"?

Some things are nearly impossible to change (I'm a picky eater and can't just will myself to like food that tastes bad to me) but there are other things which are a bit easier to change. Be a humble, grateful person. A positive outlook on life is great too.

There is hope. I'm a rather introverted person myself and didn't date for the first 25 years of my life. Then in the space of a year I dated one girl (3 dates and she shut me down) and then started dating my wife a couple months later.
 
25 is still fairly young, with lots of time for God to work in your life. When you pare down all prayer request answers from God they fall into one of three categories yes, no and wait, with wait being the hardest one to accept. Look what Jacob had to go through when waiting for his wife, yet in that time God worked in Jacobs life and remade him into someone worthy to a good wife. When my better half and I got married she was a divorcee a little older than I. Being a divorcee we assumed that we were not to get married so we did an intensive 2 month Bible study with much prayer to prove that very same thing, while obtaining counsel from two separate pastor's, a Methodist minister and an Assembly of God affiliated pastor, and going on with every day life. So our essential answer was two fold, wait, and yes. But in the wait time what mattered was resting in God, and trying to get closer to Him through the Bible and prayer. I should note that we met at a Christian coffee house attending the services there, and when we first met we had no interest in each other at all. We were both too busy with what God had brought us to in our lives. Me with my discharge from the military and starting college, and her with her teaching and divorce, what we were doing was dealing with the present moment with God. Wolfeman had that present moment right
Learn how to be happy where you are in life. Stop looking for what you want and ask God what He wants for you (which can be found by praying more, reading your bible more and by giving more of your life to God).
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Learn to take comfort and wait in God's moment, He will meet your needs in His time.
Psalm 94:19Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

19 When I am filled with cares,
Your comfort brings me joy.
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While God did say that it wasn't good for man to be alone, I think a good passage to read would be 1 Corinthians 7. Paul wishes as a concession that all would be like him, that is, being celibate; as a married man has concerns about his family and God and the unmarried, pleasing God alone. Celibacy is a gift

I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. - v7

That not too many people have, so an unmarried person who doesn't have the gift of celibacy would often think about being married and may be tempted more(?) sexually.

I'm also single and I can relate to your longing and shyness and I will be praying. I do have some advice on marriage, feel free to ignore from a single guy :p

I think it's important to not be hasty on marriage. Be careful not to be enticed by momentary "enchantments" as marriage requires charity. I'm sure you know that married couples will face a lot of troubles in this life and though they may stumble at times, at the root it can be service that is meant to glorify God.

It's as you say, if you were in need of food or money, a friend could give you some and in the case of a wife, it's really His provision along with everything else. As we may seem harsh, it's really all you can do at the moment but take heart and keep praying. He may still be building you up for marriage or He might have something else planned, but whatever His will we can know for sure it's for your own good. Psalm 103 is also a good read here :)
 
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I do still think of celibacy as a gift from God and singleness as a natural state. My intention was to explain why it's ok to be unmarried whether for a time or longer and why the advice given in this thread doesn't at all resent marriage.
 
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I admit I only skimmed the article, but I agree that the current cultural view of marriage in America is abhorrent. It's so very true that marriage, like parenthood, is both a blessing and an obligation.

I would think we can all agree that there is the possibility that God may call you to live a single and celibate life. If God said "No" to your prayers, would you still serve Him? It's a question I had to face after my wife and I lost our second child to a miscarriage and, in the interest of being totally frank, my answer is not always "Yes."

I remember being single and I remember really not liking it. I wasn't content to be single. Looking back, I wish I had shifted my focus away from "winning" a significant other and instead invested more effort seeking how I could serve the Lord. I'm not suggesting it's an either/or scenario. Moods change day by day and there are moments when living in the single state is painful.

But I think all posts so far agree that seeking God's will in how you can better serve Him takes priority. Your desire is, I believe, a healthy and normal one. The average person wants a partner to support and to support him or her. They want someone to share life with. They want someone to invest in, even when (not if) that investment means sacrificing so many of our own desires.

I wish I had enjoyed the season of my life I spent single, using the freedom to pick up and drive over to a friend's house at a moment's notice or talk on the phone with a friend until 3 a.m. or sign up for a missions trip without having to consider myriad other responsibilities--things I certainly couldn't do now--to serve God rather than myself.

Trust is a hard thing. The single life is difficult. Know that I'm praying for you--we are praying for you. I applaud your honesty. I grew up in a church environment where I probably wouldn't have felt comfortable sharing as openly as you did.

I'll be praying that the Lord would make plain opportunities for you to serve Him, perhaps in your local church. I encourage you to spend time in Scripture, countering what the world tells you about marriage and singleness with Biblical truth. Know that God is good and if He's telling you to wait, He is sovereign and He knows better than you do. :)

I've been there. I've been single. I didn't handle is nearly as well as I would have liked. It's pretty embarrassing to look back on it. But it sounds like you already have a better handle on it than I did if you're able to share like you have here.
 
Hi TC! I'm new on the forum, but I read your post and would like to offer a different perspective. You've already identified yourself as someone who doesn't desire singleness. That's OK! Singleness is great for those who can handle it, but others need companionship, and they should marry. So, how should you get there?

1)Pray for a wife. Ask God to send you the right woman.

2)Go looking for her in the right places. He won't send her to meet you in a pickup joint.

3)Be confident in asking girls for a date. Ask a lot of them! Some will say no, but some will say yes.

4)Don't feel that you need to put a ring on the first girl you date. Find out what you admire and appreciate in a wife before marriage.

If you pray for rain, bring an umbrella. If you pray for a wife, then go meet girls and find her.
 
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