Youth Groups these days, not all but alot.

@ RubberDucky - If you are getting shunned for your faith, then there is something wrong. But don't stop showing it. Remember that Jesus said that since the master will be persecuted, the people under the master would surely be persecuted. Keep strong.

@ Paul - Preaching against cliques, IMHO, is utterly pointless. It's going to happen. It's what teenagers do. But sometimes, those cliques keep people strong in God. I have a "clique" of sorts at my church where me and 2 or 3 other guys keep each other strong in God but we are still friends with the rest of the youth group. We still have fellowship. What the youth leaders need to do is figure out events and such to get them to mesh together. Easier said than done, though.
 
what you have thrain isnt really a clique its an accountability group. we have Jocks here ang s there and nerds here. we dont have fellowship
 
RubberDucky said:
what you have thrain isnt really a clique its an accountability group. we have Jocks here ang s there and nerds here. we dont have fellowship
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I'll re-ask a question that I don't think has been truly answered: What are you doing to change the situation?
Have you talked to some of these cliques? How about your youth leaders? I mean, there are weys to build the type of fellowship you want, but it doesn't happen on it's own. Help your youth leaders plan fellowship-building activities; stress upon them the importance of them and how you feel.

No offense is meant, but ranting and complaining on a forum totally unrelated to the situation will do nothing to change it.
 
I have spoken with them and they have said the same things for the past few months "we are working on it". I have to break the cliques and was rejected. I tried to rise above being a freshman but the seniors wont let it go.
 
RubberDucky said:
I have spoken with them and they have said the same things for the past few months "we are working on it". I have to break the cliques and was rejected. I tried to rise above being a freshman but the seniors wont let it go.
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When you go up to someone and ask to change, it doesnt usually go over very well. Form a group of like minded (people wanting to eliminate the group boundries), and invite other group categories to join your group, or to join theirs. This obviously wont work for everything, but if you have friendship among the different groups then it will be easier to ply them together, so to speak.

One of the things our youth group did was make meet and greet fairly insain, originally it was fairly boring with people moving little and just shaking hands. Now everyone scatters and meets people. We acheived this by having a group willing to be absolutely friendly, and played music people enjpyed, or set them to an excited mood. Over time this built momentum and people are hugging and dispersing. Of course you will always have the group that sits in the back and really doesnt want to be there, but this group gets reguarly invaded.

Have you spoken the the youth pastor about this problem? I can honestly say that mine was incredibly insightful in these matters.
 
ya ducky, dont try and change the whole group at once, do even expect it to be totally changed for a few months. just try to find one person (perferably someone who is your friend or what not) and try to show him the problem, then try and get another person then another. BUT dont try and get one person every week or session. work with one person at least a month. and dont try and be to forceful or persistent, take it easy and slow. Slow and steady wins the race. And again talk to your parents, their the best you can get. (besides praying but duh)
Hey, were here for you, we always will. Just do your best and as long as YOU know that GOD is proud of you, you can have the whole school/church hate you and still be in the green. it might not be fun but ur going to heaven and living happly. Stay strong and good luck. and PM me if you need anything
 
Jesus is here for you..

You cannot possibly minister to others while you youself are starving to death for the bread of Life..

If you ask, you will be filled..

But you'll never recieve unless you ask..

Knowing that you, in and of yourself are incapable of doing any good thing for these presious Saints..

But Jesus is more than a conquerer in us!
 
you are going in circles. it would take near a year to get one person with how dead my youth group is. even my friends are still blissfully unaware of the problem. by them i meant the youth pastors Vibro. Ya'll arent telling me anything new.
 
It's you who are going in circles, Rubber. The fact that you're saying it'd take a year a person and stuff like that shows that you don't believe it will happen. Two verses for you to chew on.

Matthew 17:20 (The Message)

"Because you're not yet taking God seriously," said Jesus. "The simple truth is that if you had a mere kernel of faith, a poppy seed, say, you would tell this mountain, 'Move!' and it would move. There is nothing you wouldn't be able to tackle."

Philippians 4:13 (New International Version)

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

You say it'll take X amount of time and it isn't possible.

God says "I'm not concerned with how long you think it will take and I can do anything through you."
 
vibrokatana said:
Form a group of like minded (people wanting to eliminate the group boundries), and invite other group categories to join your group, or to join theirs.
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I have to strongly concur with this RD - you really need to form and maintain relationships with others in your youth group who care about the Lord, even if they might not share your own vision and plan for what needs to change at your church and how this should be done. People who love the Lord DO exist in EVERY congregation, even every youth group, no matter how conservative, liberal or disfunctional it may be. If you don't think they exist, you have probably done something to alienate or repel them, or perhaps you have become blind to that love because you're looking for the wrong 'signs', or expecting those people to be outspoken and active in precipitating change. Just because they're not doesn't mean they don't love the Lord or want positive changes to take place.

My specific advice to you is to approach others in your youth group, beginning with the group leader. Go to them individually and ask for a moment of their time. Lay down your heart to them, not in terms of what they or your congregation are doing wrong, but in terms of what you have been doing wrong. Tell them you strongly desire a more positive, fruitful Christian fellowship among yourself and others with whom you've often been at odds. Here's what you might say: "I have a personal need and desire to establish better and healthier relationships with people in this church, including you. I want you to be honest with me: What have I been doing that might alienate or offend people? I want to know because I want it to change. Tell me what you honestly think.' Learn to make yourself open and vulnerable to others RD - ask for their honest opinions and take to heart what people say - don't ever interrupt them or disregard their words, verbally or through body language. Listen carefully and promise them you'll take their words to heart, whatever they may say. Do this, and if the only thing that 'changes' in your congregation as the result is yourself (in terms of gaining reconciliation with others and discovering exactly what you're doing to offend the Lord and others) - well, that might be just what the Lord is waiting on before He starts to work on the hearts and minds of others and bringing positive change to your congregation and youth group.

Paul
 
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And now for my $0.02 worth of knowledge. Which is about $0.03 more than it's probably worth. ;)

When I was growing up, our youth group started out rather small. There was seven of us. Me, Wiley, Jeff, Jennifer, Miranda, Jessica and ....crud it was so long ago I forgot her name...Julie I think...

Anyways, after a while, the group blossomed, and another group of five showed up. Naomi, Tim, Jessica and two guys I can't remember. We were split along those lines. The New and the Old, with only Jennifer as the go-between the two groups.

Want to know what happened? How it changed? Nothing. It never did. Neither group wanted it, and both groups looked upon the other with distrust. When other circumstances caused me to flee that church I did not hesitate and left without looking back.

When I finally settled down at a new church I was older and wiser. An 18 yo, and quickly became a teacher. Yet still I saw the divisions in the church. I fought against it, I railed against it. Ultimately, I realized that they were happy that way.

I was the person who saw the problems, because ultimately, I did not fit in with any of the groups.

My point-of-view was just too alien for them all. I was too adult for the teens/young adults, too Biblically oriented, too knowledgable. The adults themselves would often find me strange because I failed to meet their expectations of what a 'teen' should be. I could argue semantics and doctrine with them, holding my own with the youth pastor and senior pastor.

THEY did not know what to do with me.

Ultimately, my convictions made me leave the Assembly of God entirely and I went to the Salvation Army.

Again, I found myself in an odd role. The Captain at the time, quickly put me into a position of teaching and responsibliity not because of my knoweldge of the Bible, but because I came from an AoG background and he expected me to support him as he tried to make that Sally Corps into a more AoG style church. The older members saw this and viewed me with suspsicion, and due to my own convictions I ended up not supported the Captain. This left me with two friends in the Corps. A father and a son. Sure all the other teens held me in a love/hate affair as in one hand I could relate the Bible to their world and they needed/wanted that, but on the other hand, I did things like forced them to stay in meetings, and held them accountable for what they did.


What's the point of all this? Simple. It doesn't change.

The cliques stay there regardless, and will always be there. What has to change is you. You have to find your niche and your beliefs and then stand for them regardless, and uncomprimisingly. Accept everyone, but demand they act in a Christian manner. And ultimately, believe in yourself, and have faith in your convictions, knowing that God's plans trump the cliques and the setbacks. Knowing that no matter how alone and rejected you get and are feeling that He is there beside you.
 
Thrain said:
@ Paul - Preaching against cliques, IMHO, is utterly pointless. It's going to happen. It's what teenagers do. But sometimes, those cliques keep people strong in God. I have a "clique" of sorts at my church where me and 2 or 3 other guys keep each other strong in God but we are still friends with the rest of the youth group. We still have fellowship. What the youth leaders need to do is figure out events and such to get them to mesh together. Easier said than done, though.
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There are cliques, and then there are cliques. According to the dictionary, a clique is simply, "a small, exclusive group of people." One type of clique is what you're talking about: a small group of friends that are especially close. I'm part of two different ones in my Sunday school class: one is the music ministry folks; we can relate because we suffer the same pressure comes Christmas and Easter. ;) The other is a clique of two: the only other woman in class who gets me: she salivates over new gadgets, has an online life, and loves to knit and make things. (She's also the only other woman who spoke up when the teacher used a computer analogy and then said he was losing all the women; we understood better than some of the guys he THOUGHT he was reaching!) We are able to encourage each other, because we face similiar issues.

The other type is what Paul and RD and everyone else are railing against, the type that high school is infamous for. These cliques are designed to keep only the right people in and keep the others out...and make sure they KNOW they are out. These are bad, bad, bad.

The first type of clique is actually present in the Bible; the disciples would be one. In fact, Jesus had a clique within a clique: the Three, the ones who accompanied Him to the mount and witnessed the Transfiguration. The second is not. Jesus welcomed all who had a sincere heart and reached out to help those in the middle ground, the undecided. He set himself only against the evil.

So yes, cliques are good. And yes, cliques are bad. :)
 
I have multiple personalities, several of which I haven't yet been told about for my own sake, does that make me a one-man clique?

j/k
 
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