"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
-Matthew 5:3 (NIV)
ON a bitterly cold November morning over 10 years ago, I was driving to work, feeling a lifetime of pain and anguish down to the depths of my soul. I had never been good enough. I had never done the right thing. I disliked everything about me. I couldn't take it any more. I mentally screamed a desperate prayer, "Dear God, please help me stop hating myself."
Instantly, in the back of my mind I sensed a quiet response calmly saying, "OK." Then a feeling of warmth and peace surrounded me. The self-hatred disappeared and never returned. I have no doubt that God touched me that day.
Recently at church, our study group was discussing the passage from the Gospel of Matthew that is called the Beatitudes. We all struggled with, "Blessed are the poor in spirit ..." How could being "poor in spirit" possibly be a blessing? The next day I realized the answer: That cold November day, when my spirit was at its poorest, I opened myself to God, who stepped in and gave me the blessing of a new life. I shall always treasure that moment when God extended grace to me, a sinner. That same grace is always available to each of us when we admit we need God's help.
