Troubleshooter Service Group: Introduction and Signup

dorkelf

dorkelf

Active Member
On behalf of our Friend, The Computer, allow me to welcome you to Alpha Complex's Online Service-group Recruitment System 2.0. OSRS 2.0 utilizes the latest workflows management software developed by Research and Development (R&D). As with all software and systems technology developed by citizens of Alpha Complex and endorsed by Friend Computer, it is flawless in every possible way. Absolutely, precisely perfect, even more perfect than version 1.0, which was of course also absolutely perfect.

However...

As you all know, there are traitors in Alpha Complex who wish to bring discord to our utopian society. Some of the most insidious of these traitors are the Commies, an evil outside force which seeks to subvert innocent citizens and replace the perfect rule of The Computer with abject chaos. Be diligent, citizens, because Commies are everywhere, and it may not be long before they attempt to infiltrate this online system. Remember to report any suspicions of treason to the Computer, via any nearby confession booth, or a PM to High Programmer Dorkelf.

Now - All citizens of Alpha Complex who wish to serve The Computer in the capacity of Troubleshooters must post to this thread. Please include the following information:

1 - Your name. Proper format for a red-clearance citizen such as yourself is:

YOUR NAME-SECURITY CLEARANCE LETTER-SECTOR-CLONE NUMBER

For instance:

Toys-R-USS-1
Powe-R-SAW-5
Batt-R-UPP-3

2 - Your reason for wanting to serve Alpha Complex and Friend Computer as a Troubleshooter.

3 - Your thoughts about the new Bouncy Bubble Beverage.

4 - Your opinion of OSRS 2.0.

Please be sure before volunteering for service that you have downloaded and installed Teamspeak, and that you have acquired the proper hardware for voice communications. Your local PLC clerk will be happy to assist you in the event of technical issues with your headset, or questions about using it with the Teamspeak software.

I look forward to your enthusiastic responses. Remember to keep you lasers handy. Enemies of The Computer are everywhere. Today's tip from The Computer: Learn how to shoot from the hip. Citizens who perfect this skill live an average of 4.2 month-cycles longer than the average life expectancy of red-clearance citizens.

Have a nice daycycle, friend citizens.

High Programmer Dorkelf
 
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High Programmer Dorkelf!

May I volunteer to fight the enemies of Friend Computer?

My name is Drian-R-1.* I want to sign up because the Computer is wonderful and has allowed me the privilege of living in Alpha Complex, truly a wonderful place. I want to do my part to help Friend Computer keep Alpha Complex safe. It shocks and saddens me that anyone would want to oppose Friend Computer. The commie traitors must be stopped.

Bouncy Bubble Beverage? I didn't think anything could be better than B3 Classic, but New B3 is even more wonderful than the original! I'm so happy that the Computer, in its infinite wisdom, decided to provide us with New B3. I really like how it glows in the dark, too; it makes it easy to find even when commie mutant traitors sabotage our power systems!

I'm excited about OSRS 2.0! Friend Computer is truly wise to implement such a wonderful system! I hope I am deemed acceptable as a troubleshooter, so that I may serve Friend Computer to the best of my abilities.

*goes to practice shooting from the hip*
 
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Thank you for your cooperation, citizen Drian-R....Drian-R....

I'm sorry citizen, but you seem to have omitted your three letter sector designation. This designation is mandatory at your security clearance. Because of your obvious zeal for serving the Computer, I will assume that this was a simple oversight. Please re-submit your name in the proper format.

High Programmer Dorkelf
 
Ya i'll do it!
i uhh i mean..
Stc-R-DRG-4 reporting for duty!

It is all of our red-clearance citizens duty to help protect the incredible Alpha Complex that Friend Computer has made for us. Nothing would please me more then serving the infinatly wise Friend Computer.

Not only does the new BBB drink sound taste im sure that in his wisdom Friend Computer also has a practical use for it. Who am I to object Friend Computer, so i of course think that it is awsome.

OSRS 2.0 sounds interesting, must do more reaserch if i plan to serve longer with Friend Computer.
 
Oh, High Programmer, please forgive me! How could I have made such a grievous error? Please, please forgive me. I was so excited about applying...and then I messed it up.

My proper name is Drian-R-MNK-1.
 
Stc95 said:
Ya i'll do it!
i uhh i mean..
Stc-R-DRG-4 reporting for duty!

It is all of our red-clearance citizens duty to help protect the incredible Alpha Complex that Friend Computer has made for us. Nothing would please me more then serving the infinatly wise Friend Computer.

Not only does the new BBB drink sound taste im sure that in his wisdom Friend Computer also has a practical use for it. Who am I to object Friend Computer, so i of course think that it is awsome.

OSRS 2.0 sounds interesting, must do more reaserch if i plan to serve longer with Friend Computer.
Click to expand...

Ah yes, DRG sector. Pity about that thermonuclear detonation there a few year-cycles back. Now, STC-R-DRG-4...not to put a damper on your enthusiastic offer to serve, but don't you think your earlier clone-siblings deserve their opportunity first? Of course, in the unfortunate event of STC-R-DRG-1's demise...and STC-R-DRG-2's...and STC-R-DRG-3's...I know you'll stand ready to jump right into the action. Of course, you might have to pry STC-R-DRG-3's still twitching fingers off the trigger of an experimental prototype weapon first. Heh. Sorry STC-R-DRG-4, that was supposed to be a bit of a joke, but I've never been very good at humor. In any case, your loyalty and enthusiasm are duly noted, but please inform your clone-sibling STC-R-DRG-1 that he is hereby recruited for this Troubleshooter team. And don't worry, STC-R-DRG-4...you won't have to wait around very long.

High Programmer Dorkelf.
 
Thank you, Drian-R-MNK-1, you are hereby recruited for this Troubleshooter team. Please set your comcord for auto-notification of further instructions.

High Programmer Dorkelf
 
Hello High Programmer Dorkelf!

While shifting through various data files via a binary search pattern over the local network I noticed your bit enticing recruitment notice. My name is VK-19-SA. I would appreciate greatly if you would send us some help documents such that we can know the benefits and obligations of joining in with this prospecting new employer.

Have a nice daycycle citizens!
 
vibrokatana said:
Hello High Programmer Dorkelf!

While shifting through various data files via a binary search pattern over the local network I noticed your bit enticing recruitment notice. My name is VK-19-SA. I would appreciate greatly if you would send us some help documents such that we can know the benefits and obligations of joining in with this prospecting new employer.

Have a nice daycycle citizens!
Click to expand...

Citizen VK-19-SA, eh? I am glad...VK-19-SA...that you brought up the issue of benefits and obligations. Certainly, the glowing pride one feels when moving forward into the front lines of the battle against the Communist menace - a menace that threatens our peaceful, utopian society - is a substantial reward in itself. But, VK-19-SA, there are a multitude of added benefits for those who boldly step forward to become Troubleshooters. For one thing, promotions to higher security clearances, such as Orange, Yellow, Green...sometimes, even Blue, or beyond...are not that uncommon for Troubleshooters. On the other hand, promotions are much, much slower for citizens in other, more mundane service groups. Of course, promotions lead to vast increases in prestige and lifestyle, due to the Computer's desire that its most trusted clones should enjoy the grandest things Alpha Complex has to offer. Unfortunately, further details about these things are unavailable at your current security clearance.

Now, Citizen VK-19-SA...I'm sure you understand that these kinds of tremendous benefits do carry with them some pretty solid obligations. It is only fair after all that Citizens who receive the highest privileges also are held to the highest standards. Wouldn't you agree that this make sense?

Please feel free to ask any further questions, VK-19-SA. And if you don't mind me being so bold...I am a keen judge of character, Citizen, and it is obvious to me already that you are an unusually creative and unique individual. I am sure that your selection of a 'nickname' such as VK-19-SA, in non-standard format, was no coincidence but a conscious test of the boundaries of this system. You are obviously a clone to contend with, and I certainly have a very special duty in mind for you. If this is what you're looking for, I will need your REAL name, in the proper format, so that I can verify your identity and security clearance. I'll be looking forward to your reply, Citizen.

High Programmer Dorkelf
 
High Programmer Dorkelf. When will our training advance so we may better serve under Friend Computer. I am eager to help fight off the commies.

~Stc-R-DRG-4
 
Citizen STC-DRG-4, do you not recall that your clone sibling, STC-DRG-1, has been recruited for this Troubleshooter team? It is inappropriate for you to access this forum on his behalf. Please see to it that your clone sibling, STC-DRG-1, logs-in and posts his introduction. Immediately.

High Programmer Dorkelf
 
Fear not, Citizen. I have asked the Computer to dispense the proper medication to help you focus mentally. Its a little blue and white pill. Be sure it take it immediately, otherwise the casing will dissolve and...well, let's just say that you don't want that to happen.

Once you're feeling better, Citizen, please identify your name, sector and clone number. This will not obligate you to Troubleshooter service, but it will allow me to verify your Red security clearance and clear you for important information about this service group that will help clear up any misunderstandings. Thank you for your cooperation, Citizen.

High Programmer Dorkelf
 
Indy-R-AAA-1 reporting for duty

Hello HP Dorkelf
I wish to introduce myself. I am Indy-R-AAA-1

I desire to serve AC and FC simply because I am able and confident that I can. I know that my troubleshooting skills are beyond my years and that attempts to fight commies without me will pale in comparison.

The new Bouncy Bubble Beverage is adequate for my needs, which are quite demanding, and I will make due with its current formula. Of course I struggle with finding it in stock at my latest distributor and this is a horrific problem.

OSRS2.0 is a wonderful system if I do say so myself. I am impressed with its current cycle and look forward to the benefits it provides.

I must depart now as I feel the need to scout for the nearest confessional booth.
 
ewoksrule said:
Hello HP Dorkelf
I wish to introduce myself. I am Indy-R-AAA-1

I desire to serve AC and FC simply because I am able and confident that I can. I know that my troubleshooting skills are beyond my years and that attempts to fight commies without me will pale in comparison.

The new Bouncy Bubble Beverage is adequate for my needs, which are quite demanding, and I will make due with its current formula. Of course I struggle with finding it in stock at my latest distributor and this is a horrific problem.

OSRS2.0 is a wonderful system if I do say so myself. I am impressed with its current cycle and look forward to the benefits it provides.

I must depart now as I feel the need to scout for the nearest confessional booth.
Click to expand...

Welcome Citizen Indy-R-AAA-1. I suppose you've been serving in Outside sector for quite a while now. You are hereby reassigned from your current tour of duty in Outside sector to this service group. Please relocate to sector TSK. A transbot has been dispatched to facilitate your rapid transport. Once you are safely back within Alpha Complex proper, finding a confession booth will be quite easy.

Citizen...please allow me to remind you that very few clones below security clearance Green are cleared for duty in Outside sector. Though your service to the Computer in the Outside sector has been exemplary, it would be unfortunate if you were to discuss any information about this sector with your fellow Troubleshooters. Knowledge of or about Outside sector is strictly forbidden to Citizens of clearance Yellow or below.

Thank you for your cooperation, Citizen, and welcome to the most promising bunch of Troubleshooters this high programmer has seen since, oh, a couple of month-cycles ago. Yes, that was a remarkable Troubleshooter team, it was a real pity about that Transbot accident. Yes, a real pity. What a waste of valuable Computer property.

Ah, I just received notification that your Transbot has already arrived. Please ignore the slight wobble to its flight pattern, its operational parameters remain within acceptable limits for your security clearance. Make haste now Citizen, and enjoy your ride.

High Programmer Dorkelf
 
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CC-51LM requests complex upgrade due to recent change in system hardware enabling voice recognition.

Reason for request is because of limited access for obtaining more information to fill superior mental capacity. Upgrade included diligent express relays and fatigue limiting circuits.

Triple B was not allowed in our complex and admittance to absorbing such a highly sought after circuit enhancer could ban me from my current complex.

OSRS 2.0 is of absolute perfection thus requiring more information for a correct understanding which also is disallowed to prevent dissension among lower class citizens.

CC-51LM
 
CC-51LM? I fear that this is not a valid clone name, citizen. I also fear, based on your claim that you are currently outside Alpha Complex, that you have overdosed on your ration of Healthy-tyme Vitamins. Or perhaps you have a subcutaneous happiness enhancer that is malfunctioning. In any case, I can assure you that you are within our complex, employed within a service group in service to the Computer, and that you have a clone name which consists of one word, followed by your security clearance code (in your case, R) and finally the three digits identifying your home sector, followed by your current clone number. Please respond with this information, as it is vital to processing your request. Some examples of clone names:

Carrots-R-YUM-1
Kim-B-RLY-1
Bette-R-RUN-1

You get the idea. (That's an order, citizen.)

High Programmer Dorkelf

cc.slim said:
CC-51LM requests complex upgrade due to recent change in system hardware enabling voice recognition.

Reason for request is because of limited access for obtaining more information to fill superior mental capacity. Upgrade included diligent express relays and fatigue limiting circuits.

Triple B was not allowed in our complex and admittance to absorbing such a highly sought after circuit enhancer could ban me from my current complex.

OSRS 2.0 is of absolute perfection thus requiring more information for a correct understanding which also is disallowed to prevent dissension among lower class citizens.

CC-51LM
Click to expand...
 
Pkld N Mnd 2 reporting in for further commands with explanation that after the enhancements my circuits where overloaded due to massive downloads but now are within system specifications. Pkld n Mnd 2 requests further instructions.
 
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cc.slim said:
Pkld N Mnd 2 reporting in for further commands with explanation that after the enhancements my circuits where overloaded due to massive downloads but now are within system specifications. Pkld n Mnd 2 requests further instructions.
Click to expand...

Thank you for your cooperation, citizen. Your are hereby reassigned to TSK sector for duty as a troubleshooter. The Computer and myself are confident that you will serve Alpha Complex well. Further instructions will follow shortly.

High Programmer Dorkelf
 
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