A book in progress...

ChickenSoup

Banned
CGALLIANCE.org/


Chapter 1
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SirThom scanned the room. It had been many days since a hacker had gotten into the main server room since to the security force was upgraded and Tek7 was put in charge, put you could never be too careful. If he missed any crucial details- a shadow lurking in a corner, a wraith-like form shifting its weight behind a supercomputer- he would risk losing the system. It wasn't an easy job, but he found it satisfying to plant one's foot onto the face of an assailant... which is what usually happened. Thom checked his Glock; it was fully loaded and ready for action.

Just as he turned to leave, he heard a faint dripping noise. Just one drip, as though there was a single drop of water leaking through the roof. He turned around and spotted a tiny wet spot on the floor.
"Interesting," he muttered. He knelt and examined it. If it had dropped there, it would have to have been coming from the rafter directly above him, as though sweat had dropped from the nose of a stealthy opponent.

Then the realization of what was happening hit him. He jumped backwards seconds before a cloaked figure weilding a switchblade slammed into the ground that he had previously been standing on. With practised speed, he raised his Glock and fired one shot into the back of the attacker. Laughing, the cloaked figure just spun around and threw the switchblade at him. SirThom twisted to the left, deftly dodging it and unloading his handgun into his opponent in one liquid movement. Again, nothing happened. Thom quickly pressed a button on the underside of one of the server monitors.
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Tek7 sat, bored, watching the camera screens monitoring the various twists and turns of the underground fortress. He snatched a bag of chips and began to munch a few while spinning his chair around distractedly. It was his form of entertainment on the slow days.

Suddenly, an alarm went off. Tek7 jumped out of his chair, almost falling over and dropping the bag of chips. He leaped to the interface for the camera system and brought up a bigger view of the room where the alarm had been set off. He saw SirThom unloading his prize Glock into a foe, with no effect. Kelvar, perhaps? Thought Tek. But no, Thom had his bullets hand-made and modified so that it somehow pierced through anything short of a tank or a five foot thick wall of concrete. Tek7's eyes grew wide as several more cloaked assailants entered the room.
"How did I not see them?!" yelled Tek in confusion. He grabbed a microphone from a drawer and yelled commands into it.
"ALERT! ALERT! HACKERS IN THE SERVER ROOM! COMMENCE LOCKDOWN!!" he yelled. He thought for a few seconds, and then pressed a large red button.
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Dark Virtue looked up from the sonic mine he was programming. Around him lay various tools and weaponry somewhat Green Beret-esque.
"It's go time," he said with a wry grin.
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End of Chapter 1


yep, I'm making a story with everyone from CGA! If you want to be in it, PM me- I just threw in a few names to get the story started.
 
Thanks! *cracks knuckles*
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Chapter 2

Maid Mirawyn was knitting in her living room when the call came in.
"Paul, CGA is in trouble!" she yelled, dropping her knitting gear and rushing to the garage. Dorkelf followed close behind.
"Honey..." she started, looking at what would be their mode of transportation.
"Er, sorry, Dea, but the GTO is in the shop, I'm afraid," he stammered. Maid looked dejected as she slid into the tiny Smart Car.
"If it makes you feel any better, this is the Roadster model..." Dorkelf tried to make up for the incompetence of the vehicle.
"Just get this golf cart from point A to point B," ordered Maid Mirawyn in a flat voice. Realising that 1. there was no point in arguing and 2. he was wasting time thinking of ways to convince her otherwise, Dorkelf humbly started the car. Several minutes later, they hit 60 miles per hour.
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SirThom spun, delivered a powerful kick to the solar plexus of the nearest foe, and then somersaulted behind a server module.
"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" snickered one of the cloaked opponents. SirThom quickly reloaded his Glock and then rolled back out into the open.
"Did your boyfriend buy you that cape, Sinbad?" he taunted, unloading his gun once more. This time, one of the bullets hit the ear of the leader of the group. He cried out in pain and fell to the ground. Spotting an opprotunity, SirThom ran up and bashed the back of his neck with his pistol.
Success! thought Thom as the victim of the blow crumpled. But then, of course, were the six others he had to take care of. Best draw them away form the valuables, he thought, leaping over the heads of the group and running out into the hallway. The attackers took the bait and charged. Seconds later, SirThom heard Dark Virtue's gravelly baritone voice rumble out a single word.
"DROP!"
A moment after Thom dropped to the floor, an RPG whizzed by overhead.
Seconds later, the corridor lit up with a painfully bright light and the six cloaked men were blown off the face of the earth. Actually, they were under the earth, so they were more like the burning ingrown hair of the earth. ...either way, they were no more.

SirThom got to his feet.
"You are lucky the explosion didn't take place around the door to the server room, Dark. That room alone is more expensive than half of this fortress alone," he barked.
"Your welcome," replied Dark, who was smiling wryly.

Dark Virtue, Tek7, and SirThom met in one of the lounges a few hours later.
"How could someone have entered without setting off ANY of my alarms?" Tek7 thought aloud.
"Maybe they cut the power to them," suggested SirThom.
"I have a power grid overview in my security headquarters," replied Tek7. "They didn't turn off any power, at least not that I can see."
Dark Virtue spoke up.
"Well, they seem to be disposed of. Can we stop worrying now and just upgrade the system a little?"
A voice came from across the room, where Chicken Soup was slurping up a hearty bowl of Campbells.
"What if there's more? They may come back. They've done it once, they can do it again." He took a sip of chai tea. "I think we should seal any connections to the outside save for the main entrance."
"Even the lavatory cleanup tubes? That's disgusting. It would rot in the holding pipes," said Tek7 in a disgusted manner.
"Ah. Well, maybe not that."

Just then, Maid Mirawyn and Dorkelf raced across the room, panting.
"Sorry we're late. Did we miss anything?"
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End of Chapter 2
 
That is so hilarious Chicken.. that's for a great story! Keep 'em coming, I'm hooked!
 
I'm continually amazed by your sense of humor and cleverness.

But I'm pretty sure that I didn't send you a PM...Oh well! Very funny.
 
Very creative and fun to read C$, keep 'em coming. But just to clear things up, I have never driven a golf cart at speeds more than, say, 50 miles per hour or so. And I don't own a GTO, although my father did when he was my age. :cool:

Paul
 
1. I just threw in a few non-pmed names to get it started and
2.
Very creative and fun to read C$, keep 'em coming. But just to clear things up, I have never driven a golf cart at speeds more than, say, 50 miles per hour or so. And I don't own a GTO, although my father did when he was my age. :cool:

That adds to the humor :p

Who here has driven a smart car? They really DO look somewhat like golf carts, actually...
 
Chapter 3
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Atown's fingers danced across his keyboard.
"BOOM HEADSHOT, MIDGET!! WELCOME TO A-TOWN!" he type-chatted as an unfortunate player was blown to kingdom come. His cell phone rang, and Atown signed off of Counter-Strike.
"Yo," he grunted into his phone/mp3 player.
"Atown?"
"Yes... who is this?"
"It's Thom. Is this a bad time?"
"I was pwning midgets..."
"Er, right. We need you at HQ."
"Just a sec."
Atown turned and grabbed a small gadget he had been working on for Tek7.
"Aight, I'll be there in half an hour," he replied.
"Make it twenty minutes," said the voice. There was a click as the phone on the other end was hung up.
"Noob," muttered Atown.
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Maid Mirawyn looked disdainfully at the Smart Car.
"Chicken Soup, are you SURE you can modify it?" she asked cautiously. "It's just not... feasible, it seems."
"I'm as sure as Cool Whip is a smooth, creamy sensation that will leave your taste buds wanting for more," replied Chicken Soup. Maid rolled her eyes.
"No more primetime commercials for you. Get to work, if you will."
Soup smirked and lugged a large, dented toolbox to the tiny piece of what could barely in good conscience be called an automobile. He took out a welding torch, a mask, and a Sneaky Pete.
"Just leave me to my work. I'll have her rip-roaring faster than you can say 'dioxyribonucleic acid'."
Maid left the room with a strange feeling of confusion, satisfaction, and indigestion.
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Atown pulled into a deserted clearing in a forested area with dirt roads. Atown wished someone would pave it; the dust ruined the work he had gone through washing it. He strode to what looked like a hollow tree and knocked on it three times. Of course, that was only to make it seem like it was what unlocked the entrance; the REAL way to get in was to simply press a button on a ring all CGA members had. Unfortunately, Atown's pursuer caught the lightning-fast movement of Atown's fingers on the ring.
"Got it," he whispered into a walkie-talkie.
----------------------
Inside, Atown was talking to SirThom.
"You wanted me?" he asked.
"What? Uh, no... no I didn't. Why?" replied a baffled SirThom.
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One might ask why whoever it was who wanted CGA taken down needed to know where the entrance was located when they had already been inside before. Well, in a nutshell, they come in through a different entrance and then found out that only the main entrance would be open from now on. How had they found this out?

There was a leak of information via a spy inside CGA's headquarters, that's how!!
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End of Chapter 3

I promise to have more actiony stuff, but I had to set up a storyline or else it would just go on and on with no plot
 
Haha, no the evil hacker will be Vibro. He'll be equipped with a hammer and a bee bee gun and he'll run around shooting "windows." Heh...
 
No clue.

Sorry I haven't been able to post more, been busy all weekend and then forums downtime....

I've got a good idea on who's the traitor and all that, but for now I'll just humor MaidMirawyn
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ChickenSoup's head was bobbing to music as he finished up the paint job on MaidMirawyn's fomerly pathetic Smart Car. The little automobile had gone through quite the upgrade. He finished, stepped a feet feet back, took off his gas mask (don't want to breathe in those fumes!) and cast an imperial, scrutinizing glance over the car. It was brilliant. He took out his cell phone (in which he had put a cutting laser, among other useful gadgets) and pressed speed dial #4.
"Mirawyn? Yep, it's me. Your ride is done." ChickenSoup paused as MaidMirawyn asked when she could stop by and pick it up.
"Who said anything about YOU coming to the CAR? Nonsense, Maid. The CAR shall come to YOU!"
"Oh, you'll have someone drive it to my house??" questioned an excited MaidMirawyn.
"Something like that."
He hung up.

ChickenSoup hopped in and started the car. The inside lit up and the engine purred like a contented lion.
"Here we go!" he muttered. He pulled out of the garage and onto the road.
"Let's see how fast this baby can go." He pressed a button and what looked like a trunk in the back of the car opened up, revealing miniature jet engines (very miniature). The car computer piped up in a cool voice (British accent, of course, and female, although the latter could be changed according to the driver's preference).
"Select a destination," it questioned in a casual manner that sent a warm, fuzzy feeling into C$'s stomach.
"Residence of Dorkelf and MaidMirawyn," he ordered, noting the fact that the car had narrowed itself, making itself thinner and longer. Also, long wings had emerged from the bottom of the car and shifted upwards and clicked into place on the sides.
"Please make sure that the area is cleared before takeoff," suggested the computer.
"Yeah yeah, just get this baby airborne," snorted ChickenSoup. He was an impatient and an impetuous young man.
"Taking off in 5...4....3...2....1.... we have liftoff," observed the computer as the car/plane/sub/tank screamed off of the road and into the air.

A few minutes later, it touched back down a mile or two away from Mirawyn's house. ChickenSoup put it back into "Car Mode" and cruised slowly for the rest of the trip. He grinned and turned on the surround sound system, and for the next few minutes he sang (not a pretty thing) to "Catchafire (whoopsie daisy)" by tobyMac.

MaidMirawyn paused when she heard a dull, continuous thumping noise that made the windows vibrate. She turned off the television and took a peek outside. What she saw was her new car/plane/sub/tank thumping down the road, volume and bass cranked up as far as it could go (which, considering ChickenSoup's handiwork, was quite a lot). A second later it was in front of her house. ChickenSoup waved and rolled down the window as MaidMirawyn ran out with her ears covered so that her eardrums wouldn't burst from the sound.
"WHAT IS THIS??" She yelled. ChickenSoup politely turned off the music and replied,
"Your ride, madame," and turned on the hydraulics. Mirawyn stepped back in wonder as this beautiful automobile/plane/sub/tank rose a few feet off the ground and then sank back down.
"...the hydraulics weren't necessary, 'punk'," she protested. But really, she was incredibly happy. Of course, then she realised that a 14 year old was driving.
"WHAT THE- DO YOU EVEN HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE?!" she gasped.
"Is that a rhetorical question?" was all she heard. She was too shocked to hear his explanation. She was brought back into reality when an encycolpedia-sized book landed at her feet.
"There's the manual."
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End of Chapter 4


Yeah, I figured I'd have a little fun :p
 
[EDIT - Snipped by Dorkelf]
MaidMirawyn paused when she heard a dull, continuous thumping noise that made the windows vibrate. She turned off the television and took a peek outside. What she saw was her new car/plane/sub/tank thumping down the road, volume and bass cranked up as far as it could go (which, considering ChickenSoup's handiwork, was quite a lot). A second later it was in front of her house. ChickenSoup waved and rolled down the window as MaidMirawyn ran out with her ears covered so that her eardrums wouldn't burst from the sound.
"WHAT IS THIS??" She yelled. ChickenSoup politely turned off the music and replied,
"Your ride, madame," and turned on the hydraulics. Mirawyn stepped back in wonder as this beautiful automobile/plane/sub/tank rose a few feet off the ground and then sank back down.
"...the hydraulics weren't necessary, 'punk'," she protested. But really, she was incredibly happy. Of course, then she realised that a 14 year old was driving.
"WHAT THE- DO YOU EVEN HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE?!" she gasped.
"Is that a rhetorical question?" was all she heard. She was too shocked to hear his explanation. She was brought back into reality when an encycolpedia-sized book landed at her feet.
"There's the manual."
-------------
End of Chapter 4


Yeah, I figured I'd have a little fun :p

ROFL ROFL ROFL!!!
 
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I've got to hand it to you ChickenSoup, I'm addicted. It's reminds me of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, sorta maybe kinda. Looking forward to the next chapter. Keep up the good work!
 
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