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In short, receiving the Spirit is part of what happens when you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
There's a lot of gray blurriness on this subject. Right now I'm reading Francis Chan's Forgotten God and am pleasantly surprised by it. It's a good solid book.
The Holy Spirit was sent by God to help the human race, at Pentecost. Seeing as most Protestant churches teach that you can't be saved without grace as a gift of the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit's working in your life actually predates your salvation.
The Holy Spirit gives people a whole lot of gifts, the first and foremost and most important being the ability to receive God's grace and be saved. Other gifts are also given to every believer, such as the conviction of sin and the assurance of salvation.
On top of this, there are other, more showy gifts. Often these gifts are confused with being the only gifts of the spirit. With all due respect, XionTawa, the baptism is not the first time the Holy Spirit gives you your gifts.
Man, I'm rambly. Dumb allergies are making my head not work very well. If this gets confusing, I'm sorry.
Often when someone talks about the "baptism of the Holy Spirit," they're talking specifically about receiving a showy gift, most often the gift of praying in tongues. This is perfectly okay. Nobody should want less of God. But I would caution that both the showy and non-showy gifts are given to us by God at his discretion (but also at our requests.) Tongues is not for everyone. Neither is healing, or encouragement.
My advice? Don't be too cerebral. Pray and ask God what gifts he has for you. Ask for them. Keep asking. Never feel that you are asking for too much from God. But also never feel like you are undervalued or less valuable because God has not given you a specific gift.
I'd also look at the gifts of the Holy Spirit. There are a lot of them. The Holy Spirit gives a lot of gifts, lavishly, because he is at heart a gift-giving person. Don't undervalue the gift of patience, or encouragement, or peacefulness in favor of healing or visions or predictive prophecy or of tongues.
One last point: aim high. The greatest gifts of the Holy Spirit are those that help others. The greatest gift the Holy Spirit can give is the faith for salvation, and so the greater gifts are the ones that improve or work with that gift. Tongues can help maintain your faith, but Paul seems to indicate that it doesn't do a lot to help others. Encouragement, for example, then, is better for helping the body than tongues is. But, once again, ask for any gifts that God can give you. I would just encourage you to acknowledge the ones that God has given you and value them. That is not to say "you have enough already, be content with what you have." More is always better.
You explained well, and I took no offense, I don't explain things well, but I completely agree with you...