BARTENDER: Hey, I haven't see you in awhile. What happened? You look terrible!
PIRATE: What do you mean? I feel fine.
BARTENDER: What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before.
PIRATE: Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now.
BARTENDER: Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?
PIRATE: We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off, then I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really.
BARTENDER: What about the eye patch?
PIRATE: Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them pooped in my eye.
BARTENDER: You're kidding! You lost an eye just from bird poop?
PIRATE: It was my first day with the hook!
PIRATE: What do you mean? I feel fine.
BARTENDER: What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before.
PIRATE: Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now.
BARTENDER: Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?
PIRATE: We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off, then I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really.
BARTENDER: What about the eye patch?
PIRATE: Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them pooped in my eye.
BARTENDER: You're kidding! You lost an eye just from bird poop?
PIRATE: It was my first day with the hook!
