Honesty or Compassion?

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Jim

Jim

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I feel a little foolish for posting here when no one else has for months, but I need some outside advice.

I'd like an opinion. I am an atheist but I still go to church. The reason is my mother is ill and she thinks of church as a support. When I was younger, we all went to church and it was sort of a tradition (I'm the first heathen in a long line of devout Catholics)
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When my sister died and my dad got a new job as an auditor which required frequent trips abroad, often for an entire week at a time, my mum and I were left to go to church by ourselves on Sundays. Now I don't believe anymore, but I feel pulled between telling the truth and admitting I no longer want to go, but doing so would probably make her feel worse. At the same time, I feel like an intruder or a trespasser in church.

It may sound like an obvious question, but which should I go with? Truth be told, I'm more partial to keeping quiet. Any suggestions?
 
I would stop going to church and be honest about what you believe or dont believe.

I will probably get flamed for saying that but you cant lie to yourself. You cant lie to the people who are in that church and you cant lie to your family.

Of course the great solution would be for you to start believeing in God and to continue going to church but with a purpose... But thats something you have to decide for yourself.
 
In addition.. i dunno the reasons you are atheist but if you ever wanna chat about God and stuff then drop me a mail or an IM.
 
"Honesty is the best policy"

I know where you are coming from and I understand your point. I should be honest. But being honest about my beliefs and esentially cutting off another source of comfort for her seems a bit callous on my part.

Thanks for the offer. I may take you up if I need to chat. But for now, I'll make my own way. Cheers anyway.
 
well seeing how God always has wanted his follower do to the right thing, be people of integerity, and honesty, then you might as well tell her the truth.
 
I concur.

If she is strong in her faith, do you really think she wants to going through the motions, trying to fake God out?

Your beliefs don't change your love or compassion for her. She will not lose your support there.

HOWEVER, take this into consideration.

If you going with her to church is comforting to her, then she may ask you to still go. What then? I say, go with her, for HER. She will know you don't believe, you will not be faking it, and she still gets her support.

It's a win/win situation.
 
So the general consensus is honesty...

This is something I'll have to think about. I can't decide on the spot. So thank you to all who provided me with advice.

If and when I make my mind up, I'll let you know and the outcome.
 
Well, I took your advice and told her. I could tell you everything went fine. I would also be a lying scumbag.
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To say she was upset was an understatement. There were a good few tears and arguments before we setteld down. And now we've got it sorted, here's whats going down:

I decided DV's idea, going to church as emotional support might be a good idea. She agreed.

**Wipes a tear** well now that that's sorted, I'm waiting for the religious discussion to heat up again.

Cheers to one and all for their support and advice.
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[b said:
Quote[/b] (Jim @ Oct. 10 2004,8:19)]I feel a little foolish for posting here when no one else has for months, but I need some outside advice.

I'd like an opinion. I am an atheist but I still go to church. The reason is my mother is ill and she thinks of church as a support. When I was younger, we all went to church and it was sort of a tradition (I'm the first heathen in a long line of devout Catholics)
biggrin.gif


When my sister died and my dad got a new job as an auditor which required frequent trips abroad, often for an entire week at a time, my mum and I were left to go to church by ourselves on Sundays. Now I don't believe anymore, but I feel pulled between telling the truth and admitting I no longer want to go, but doing so would probably make her feel worse. At the same time, I feel like an intruder or a trespasser in church.

It may sound like an obvious question, but which should I go with? Truth be told, I'm more partial to keeping quiet. Any suggestions?
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Perhaps you should tell her that you do not want to go to church, but say you encourage her to pray for you. (If you do want her to pray for you, that is)
 
WEll. here's my opinion. tell her that you are not really into it or whatever. but tell her you need to do a bit of "soul searching" and find out whatever you need about church and everything. note: that all hcurches are not good. the "official" catholic church idea is not right. read this.

http://www.carm.org/catholic.htm

there we go. i think you are on the tip of being a christian, but you cannot see where it is going.
 
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