If Operating Systems Ran the Airlines...

SirThom

SirThom

New Member
Just thought this was funny enough to share. =)
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines... [/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]UNIX Airways [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Air DOS [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Mac Airlines [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Windows Air [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Windows NT Air [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Windows XP Air [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.[/FONT]
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[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Linux Air [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"[/FONT]
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http://www.zyra.org.uk/os-air.htm
 
seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
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so true
 
I'm about tired of all these anti-Windows threads. If you don't like it don't use it, its that simple. I've never had any problems with Windows, and its a whole heck of a lot easier to use then most other OSs out there.
 
SirThom said:
"Whistler" is the code-name for Windows XP (like "Longhorn" is the code-name for Vista).
Click to expand...

Haha! Hilarious.

As for this being an anti-M$ thread, this is more an anti-everything thread. Plus, it's just not an anti-M$ without Vibro... :( I still miss him...

VIBRO COME BACK!
 
[toj.cc]phantom;210683 said:
I'm about tired of all these anti-Windows threads. If you don't like it don't use it, its that simple. I've never had any problems with Windows, and its a whole heck of a lot easier to use then most other OSs out there.
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Phantom: call me an idiot, but this wasn't posted in hope that it would stir people up into a frenzy, defending their favored OS. I just thought the article was entertaining.
 
I've got a joke.



3 guys get captured by cannibals: a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a New Yorker.

"I've got good news and bad news," the cannibal chief guy said. "The bad news is we're going to kill you, eat you, and shave off your skin and make a boat out of it. The good news is you get to pick how you want to die."

The Frenchman was first. "I'll take ze sword!" He stabbed himself and died.

The Spaniard was next. "I'll take a revolver." He shot himself and died.

Then the cannibals came to the New Yorker. "What weapon do you wish for?" they asked.

"A fork."

Confused, they shrugged and handed the man a fork. They were horrified to see him stab himself repeatedly all over his body. Blood was everywhere, and the man screamed with pain.

"What are you doing!?" The cannibals’ leader cried.

"SO MUCH FOR YOUR BOAT! SUCKERS!!"
 
tjguitarz said:
"What are you doing!?" The cannibals’ leader cried.

"SO MUCH FOR YOUR BOAT! SUCKERS!!"
Click to expand...
Grotesque, but hilarious.

I...should probably feel guilty for laughing as hard as I did.
 
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