In the Words of a Gerbil...


Official Internet Mom

Many Tuesdays our Leader Gerbil finds creative ways to invite players to play! These are a few of his shenanigans!

Tuesday, July 17, 2018 Mighty Gerbil ... Casual Toj TF2 Game Night needs you! /points finger directly at you Uncle Sam style, out of your screen, from across the interwebs. Join now if you are a patriot! /hums national anthem.


Tuesday, July 24, 2018 Mighty Gerbil ... Casual 9:34 PM/cue original Power Rangers theme

After ten thousand minutes it's free.
It's time to conquer TF2.

Raysoul all the crazies have escaped.
Recruit teams of teenagers with attitudes.



For educational purposes... of course!


Tuesday, July 31, 2018 Mighty Gerbil ... Casual 9:42 PM
Are you taken for a ne'er-do-well when you want to be a lovable scamp?
Did immolating your friends only leave an awkward silence?
Did high explosives make people love you to bits or just bits of people?
Do you try to stab people only to have them miss the point?

Don't make these social faux pas and risk rejection in real life.

Hone your shenanigans on Toj TF2 game night lest they be confused for tomfoolery.



Official Internet Mom

Tuesday, August 7, 2018 Mighty Gerbil... Casual 10:07 PM
Do you find yourself mumbling incoherently while cooking over an open flame?
Seeing double and you think one of those people must be a spy?
Strange cravings for sandwiches but you'll only eat them from a plate on the floor?

I'm not a doctor but I play one in a game and that qualifies me to say you may be suffering from a vitamin "TF2" deficiency. Unless treated quickly strangers online, whose opinion matters most, could diagnose you as a scrub, newb or you could be told to "get good". This horrific disfigurement can lead some to withdraw entirely from online gaming and become a "weeboo", "role player" or even the dreaded "employed".

There is hope though. Patients that take Toj TF2 game night once a week report a full recovery!

Side effects may include lack of sleep and an uncontrollable urge to make puns.



Official Internet Mom

Tuesday, August 14, 2018 Mighty Gerbil... Casual 9:39 PM

We interrupt your regularly scheduled cat video to bring you breaking news...

Our roaming Soldier in the sky reports he's got a pile up of dead bodies on "Fastlane" and 2 dominations.
A weather alert of an approaching "Coldfront" has Jack Frost nipping at your back with a Spycicle.
In human interest, we'll teach you how to make a healthy second banana snack straight from "Banana Bay".

...and of course we'll cover the most horrific train wreck of them all Toj TF2 game night!
Tune in right now to get all the breaking news firsthand or just break some newbs firsthand!



Official Internet Mom

Tuesday, August 21, 2018 Mighty Gerbil... Casual 10:27 PM
(as sung to Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo)

Ahattaonyoua makesagabe moola
Put them together and what have you got

Memesloola lotsa hooha
Put them together and what have you got
Toj Team Fortress 2!

Oddly enough just like the movie our magic ends around midnight and we have a whimsical rodent too.



Official Internet Mom

Tuesday, August 27, 2018 Mighty Gerbil... Casual 10:36 PM

HALT MORTAL! If you want to play with me you must answer these questions three!
Where maps reside and bans applied and every Tuesday people enticed inside.
Where walls are referenced and culture too this place of madness now calls to you.
Where memes dwell and players pell-mell. What is this place of insanity, do tell?

YES! The answer to the unsolvable riddle of the ages is Toj TF2 Game night!

Now the hard question is to answer is what map people want to play.
Ah well the nice thing about TF2 is I can always choose a map where I can chuck them off a bridge.



Official Internet Mom

Tuesday, September 25, 2018 Mighty Gerbil.... Casual 10:16 PM

(in a Grisly Humphrey Bogart voice)

The water was pouring down like a roaming Soldier's rockets when she walked through the door.
She was built like a bucket of gasoline, shapeless and lighting everything on fire, but I knew it was a she because a million internet conspiracy theorists can't be wrong.
She mumbled over and lit my cigarette... and my trench coat and the plastic plant in the corner.
This girl was getting me hot under the collar but before I could get updated on what game she was playing a shot rang out.
I dove to the ground like a sandvich tossed out by a Heavy but the girl got a new ventilator hole in her gas mask.
Glancing through the window the assassin disappeared like Half Life 3 leaving me with a whole lot of questions.
I knew there was only one place where I could get answers... Toj TF2 Game Night!



Official Internet Mom Mighty Gerbil... Casual 10:07 PM

It's make a meme time with Gerbil!
Mix and match any of the following to become internet famous!

Reference entertainment media out of context. Now you have the high ground!
Give attention to people making fools of themselves for attention. Everybody wins just not on their SATs!
Show an animal looking like they are doing something human. Anything can wear a pancake!
Say random things until everyone else repeats them.
Say random things until everyone else repeats them.
Say random things until everyone else repeats them.

...and that's how,
in a freak meme related overdose
involving Chuck Norris and friendship magic,
Toj TF2 Game Night was born.



Official Internet Mom

[Tuesday 9:58 PM] Mighty Gerbil Casual:

More taunts than politics!
More explosions than Micheal Bay eating a dynamite burrito!
More hats than a bald beachcomber's closet!
More bugs than a Microsoft picnic!
More than a feeling. When I hear that old song they used to play!
Mo money, mo money, mo money!
More obscure culture references than anyone is likely to get!

All on Toj TF2 Game Night until you just can't take it no more!



Official Internet Mom

Tuesday, November 20, 2018 [Tuesday 9:48 PM] Mighty Gerbil Casual:

/In gruff Dragon Ball Z voice/

Last time on TF2 Toj Tuesday...

Soldier: You won't defeat me! Begins yelling aaaAAA...
Pyro: Uses magical girl friendship fire attack.
Soldier: Continues yelling...
Heavy: Gets beat up a lot before winning.
Medic: Powers up achieving final "Uber" form.

Meanwhile a bunch of people stand around talking while a couple others fight.
It's confirmed TF2 Toj game night is now an anime.

Soldier: Still has three episodes of yelling to go...



Official Internet Mom

[12/11/2018, 10:22 PM] Mighty Gerbil Casual:

You know Dasher and Doctor
And Marksman and Buildin',
Rockets and Fat Guy
And Stabber and Bombin'.

But do you recall the most annoying class of all...
Mumbles the red hot Pyro had a very scalding hose.
And if you ever saw it Pyro would ignite your clothes.
All of the other classes used to laugh and called it names.


...but don't worry you can just respawn on Toj TF2 game night right now!
Why gift out coal to naughty people when you can just light them on fire directly?



Official Internet Mom

[12/18/2018, 10:13 PM] Mighty Gerbil Casual:

On the 12th day of Christmas TF2 dropped for me...

12 Crates a-trashing
11 Weapons scraping
10 Players chatting
9 Emotes for dancing
8 Scouts a-milking
7 Trolls a-grieving
6 Hats for wearing
4 Calling pms
3 French Spies
2 Turtle Engies
and some Toj on a game night!

Merry Christmas to you and a Happy Birthday to Jesus! :)



Official Internet Mom

Tuesday, January 8, 2019

[9:52 PM] Mighty Gerbil:
Prepare for hats, and a furry rat.
To protect the internet from troll depredations,
To unite all players for our game night duration,
To announce the Gerbil's spam of love,
To expand our server count to the stars above.


Toj Night starts off at the speed of light!

GERBTH, that's right!

Yup I'm a Pokemon now GERBTH! err... GERBASAUR! em... Gerbachu?

Whatever, I don't have a Pokemon type I just shank people who try to put me in a ball.



Official Internet Mom

January 15th [9:45 PM] Mighty Gerbil:
Computer slower than a narcoleptic turtle eating peanut butter?
Think you may need a replacement but don't know your SSDs from your BVDs?
Don't test for antiquated and meaningless terms like "FPS".

The smart gamer tests for the needs of modern games "HPS".
Hats per second.

Cosmetics in games are in.
If your computer can't clip five inside each other how can you create new and hip abominations of nature?
How will you be ready for the next Goat Simulator DLC?
If no one buys EA's latest loot crates how can they parasitically feed on other companies?

Benchmark your computer now with the industry standard for HPS TF2!