Strangest request...

Avesther

Avesther

New Member
I have tried to voluntarily leave.  I can not.  I am drawn back by a sick sense of honour that must somehow be defended in head on confrontation.  It is simply not enough that I ignore certain topics or posts because I can not ignore them.  It is not in me yet to walk away.

I am hot headed and fly off the handle way too easy.  Of what good is my temper?  I am certain that I have such a temper for a reason.  Unfortunatly, without proper consulting and learning and growth, I fear it useless to the point of dangerous.  Dangerous to myself, others that I come into contact with and those who simply pass me by.

I see no reason as to why I should remain here.  By my own tongue I admit I am not a very good representation of who Christ, my Lord and salvation, is.  And as such, I question, what is my value on these boards?  And my only answer is:  None.  I can not in all honesty, determine how I can be used to further the vision of CGA.  Especially when I act so trully opposite of whom I try to emulate.

As such, I see myself more of a liability and a detriment to you.  I have been around for o' so long, since my cuz introduced me to Seven Seals.  I have out lived my usefullness, I am afraid it be so.

Much more then not of being any value here any more, I can not accept how I have acted here.  I have acted in haste, hate and anger.  I despise myself for it, I'd rather gnaw my fingers off then post again under such circumstances.  Yet I find myself doing it over and over again.  It was easier for me to quit smoking after 15 years then it is for me to quit posting after only 6 years.

And so thereon, I do so humble request, that the elders get together and contemplate my membership.  I do so humbly request, with all my heart and understanding, that all my IP addresses be banned, for my behaviour is detestable even in my own eyes. I need help and this is the only solution that I can see.
 
Cndbacon,

I can't say what is drawing you back but I do say I appreciate your words of wisdom you bring here. We can all lose our temper a bit but as long as we own up to our mistakes it's all good. We are not perfect just forgiven.

You will always be welcome here. we love ya and God does too. Don't think your presence is pointless.
 
I second Cheryl's sentiments and thank you for your honest words, CndBacon. You've been a part of the Christian gaming community for quite some time now and I can't say that I like the thought of banning one of our long-time members.

Nevertheless, I will respect your request and ask our forum administrators pay especially close attention to your posts in the upcoming week. If you should hold to your original request in a week's time, then we will honor it.

In that time, I ask that you spend time in prayer seeking what the Lord would have you do in our community. A person humble enough to admit their faults and publicly apologize can be of great benefit to the group.

As for a temper being a tool, I can't agree with that idea. Anger, excepting righteous anger, is not a thing to be used but rather purged from our hearts. Of course, we cannot do this alone and we must seek the Lord diligently to improve ourselves in any lasting way.

So, please take some time to sit back, consider your situation, and post your reply next Monday or Tuesday. I believe that the Lord can make tremendous changes in your life in that time if you are willing to humble yourself, and I see by your post that you are.

Should you decide to return, please know that we accept your apology and will not consider the past. The Lord is not in the business of refusing those who repent and neither are we.
 
My dear friend in Christ,

I too have been unstable in my own mind and heart.  I continue to leave to go join other gaming groups, but I cannot help but return to the fellowship and the light that I do so find here.

You say that you are not a good representation of Christ.  None of us are.  What we all are is a good representation of a sinner who has been redeemed by Christ.  You don't have to be perfect here.  And yes, sometimes tempers and silliness come from our hearts.  Including me. I'm fully of depression and words of self doubt. Many in the Camelot chapter know this about me, yet they still love me and enjoy my company.

So please, don't beat yourself up. You are redeemed by Christ, and if God can find no fault in you, neither can I. Just hang in there, practice being patient, and pray often. And you'll find that your heart will grow and improve through the grace of God.

You want help in controling your temper?  You want help to learn and grow and improve your Christian walk?  All you have to do is pray to God daily and ask for help and teaching.  I have grown up with God when all my peers rejected me, and He has taught me many things about patience and peace and most importantly self control.

My one suggestion to you is whenever you make a post, write it in something like wordpad or someplace outside the forums.  Then give it a minute, then read over it and see if its really what you are trying to say.  Always helps me.

Another thing to maybe consider is your temper. Yes, losing your temper and getting your feelings to control you may not always be best. However, if we sacrifice our feelings on the cross, and focus on a more scriptural point of view, then anger can be curdled to passion, and passion for the Lord and passion to do the Lord's work can be a beautiful thing.

I do not fully know you or your heart, so those are just some basic thoughts from me. Know that you are in my heart, and in my prayers. God bless and may the Lord fill you with unimaginable joy and peace.

Your friend in Christ,
Ken
 
Anger..... I have not much to say... but I will leave you with this cuz...

Proverbs29:11 " A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control."

so.... maybe throttle it back to 1/4 impulse and its all good ;) Love ya bro!


YBIC,

Jon
 
Cuz,

You've seen the holes in my tongue as I have fought to keep it back.

There is something in my red neck, western type, wrangler wearing genes that just opens the flood gates.

And not to excuse any behaviour, I have been put deerly under great burden and stress of late. And alot of weight that is born on my shoulders, I have put there myself. And still, it must be dealt with.

And you are right, and you have told me o, so many times before. Me, so foolish.

Anybody got some duct tape? Not the ordinary type, its got to be the Red Green type.
smile.gif


I have really got to put past hurts back into the past. They are done and the water is far from the bridge now.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top