Contraceptives in a Christian Marriage

Keero

Keero

Tribe of Judah Membership Administrator
Was wondering what some of your guy's (and gals) views and opinions are concerning the use of birth control for a Christian couple. I've been hearing both sides of the argument from friends on what they think is appropriate and what's not. While not outright abortion (which is not the focus of this thread), one friend says it's like Onan's sin, the other saying it's alright in God's eyes when it comes to "waiting" for a proper time to conceive a child. Should we be fruitful and multiple right after marriage, or hold off until both husband and wife feel they are ready (financially, mentally, physically) for a child?

What say you?
 
Very touchy subject. I know that some medical groups have confirmed that "the pill" can cause abortions. So that is a huge thing to consider and be informed on.

A fantastic resource for this topic is many of the writings from author and pastor, Randy Alcorn.

this search on his site brought up many good articles on it.
http://www.epm.org/resources/tag/birth control pill/

I didn't find any related to Onan's sin. I am not sure that really related to contraceptives. To me, it looks like Onan sinned by purposeful disobedience to his Father and not fulfilling his obligations. It looks like extreme selfishness at the root with much disrespect to others. I don't see that as related to loving married couples planning their pregnancies with the aid of medial tools.
 
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I feel reasonably sure that the Bible instructs us to have as many kids as God decides to plop into our wives/our-own wombs. Birth control? Pfaugh! So what if your job and skills only bring in enough money to feed five kids? If God gives you ten, you better accept ten! And be grateful for it! And when they're starving, tell them they should be grateful they're alive at all.
 
I'm not sure that I agree, Lazarus. We're also taught to be responsible and good stewards of what God has given us. If we bring a child into the world, then neglect it (whether intentional or not), it seems like we've done a rather big injustice to the child, our community (since someone else will likely pick up the tab to keep the baby from starving), and our God.
 
I'm pretty sure Lazarus was being facetious. . .

The birth control debate is entirely unrelated to Onan's sin (Genesis 38 for those who wish to know). Onan sinned because he refused to fulfill his family responsibilities and provide his brother with an heir, not because he didn't want children. On the contrary, Onan wanted children but he wanted his own heir.

As for birth control, it would probably be helpful to determine what "birth control" actually is (or isn't) before one has such a discussion. I say this because in my mind "natural family planning" is a form of birth control (albeit, a slightly less sure way). So if ALL birth control is wrong then so is natural family planning which seems kind of strange to me (especially for a people who are called to self-control). But what if only certain methods of birth control are wrong? But where to draw the line? Abortive procedures (abortion, pills that abort a conceived egg, etc.) are wrong in my opinion since I believe human life begins at birth. But should the line be drawn before such procedures? With what criteria?

In my opinion, so long as it is not abortive I don't have an issue with it. I respect the decision of those who won't use birth control, especially those who don't feel compelled to convince the rest of the world that birth control is evil.
 
OK, I'll chime in here.

First off, you have to tell me what kind of contraceptives you are talking about? Are you discussing, the pill? Spermacide? Condoms?

If you plan on using any type of contraceptive or if your wife has ever used one, you need to get the facts. Ask questions, not just the topical information, the real information.

For instance, in my opinion, a contraceptive used that prevents the sperm and egg from meeting is ok. (I.e. a condom)

However if you are really not trying to have children, you should look into watching your wife's temperature. Track it. When it goes up or down. Find out when she is ovulating and if you are not planning on kids, don't have intercourse during those times. I'm not saying it will prevent all pregnancies, its just another thought.

I'm no expert, however I have been around a lot of experts and the biggest thing you need to do is find out the information. I suggest visiting as many Christian sites as you can, talk to Christian doctors. Get the full information, not what the world wants you to see.
 
I'm not exactly married nor dating so I can't check those until God gives me the right woman, but yeah I'm talking mainly about the pill and condoms.

And thanks for the links, ewoks, that's some good reading. :D
 
Yes, I was being slightly.. facetious. I apologize for being a bit of a jerk. >_>

Anyway.

What's the Bible say about contraceptives?

Nothing?

Well there you are then!

If it was an important issue, no doubt God would have made a judgement call on it, as He did with murder and adultery and stealing and working on the Sabbath and kidnapping and rape and lust and gluttony and anger and envy and covetousness and slavery and honoring parents and worshipping idols and avoiding unclean foods and hating your enemies and having lots of money and gambling and greed and pride and lying and deception and homosexuality and cowardliness and sorcery and witchcraft and fornication and crossdressing and drunkenness and swindling and carousing and sexual promiscuity and sensuality and strife and jealousy and foolishness and kidnapping and profanity and bestiality and bribery and harlotry and arrogance and sloth.

But He doesn't seem to have done that, so in my opinion, just go with whatever seems wisest. (I've heard that some kinds of birth control can cause infertility and other health problems, you have to be careful with that stuff)
 
Sorry, I was really tired when I read your initial response and the fact that you were playing. oops.
 
Lazarus said:
...If it was an important issue, no doubt God would have made a judgement call on it, as He did with murder and adultery and stealing and working on the Sabbath and kidnapping and rape and lust and gluttony and anger and envy and covetousness and slavery and honoring parents and worshipping idols and avoiding unclean foods and hating your enemies and having lots of money and gambling and greed and pride and lying and deception and homosexuality and cowardliness and sorcery and witchcraft and fornication and crossdressing and drunkenness and swindling and carousing and sexual promiscuity and sensuality and strife and jealousy and foolishness and kidnapping and profanity and bestiality and bribery and harlotry and arrogance and sloth....
Click to expand...

You forgot judging, funny guy. :D

I am somewhat surprised no one has linked Monty Python's The Meaning of Life yet.
 
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Well if you have 0$0c in your bank account I don't think God wants you to bring a child into this world to suffer, Not blaming the victim but a cycle of poverty I see continuing in many countries, particularly in the developing world, including my own (Singapore). Abortion... not going to touch on that without sparking a flame war. I say don't get pregnant to begin with. If you need an abortion then something is wrong.

Look, in the testes, there are millions upon billions of sperm produced in your lifetime. The vast majority just dies of 'old age'.

Also, the world is overpopulated yadayadayada... but if you take it in biblical context, 1 mil people is a GREAT NATION. Since when was 5 million people more than a city these days?
 
Oh well. Depends. But fact is we arn't producing enough food that we have to go GM. However the problem is unequal distribution not lack of.
So fine lets put it this way. People who should have children (the upper middle class folks who can afford to support kids well) don't or just makes do with one, and poor folks who can barely feed themselves well have like what? 6?!!!
At least thats the problem in singapore and surrounding area so I have observed. All their kids grow up eating are instant noodles, more instant noodles, plain rice with a chili and KFC is considered a TREAT.

So maybe from my experiences are biased but nothing pains me more than to see kids brought into this world just to suffer. Their lives are unlikely to improve as after high school (which is mandatory) they go and work in usually menial jobs.

TLDR: Don't have kids till you're ready.
 
Interesting that you bring up that particular problem. Idiocracy was a spoof movie that mocked that very idea that the people who are somewhat better suited (educated, employed, makes overall better decisions) weren't having kids while the high school dropouts without jobs and lives every day like they're going on the Springer show...were overpopulating.

Very amusing movie (while not appropriate for all groups)
 
Never watched it or hears about it (I'm a basement dweller) but sounds true. I see those who are in the lowest socioeconomic status have most kids. I can't imagine growing up without internet and think my $2000 laptop I bought 3 years ago is unbearable (spare it I know its junk and changing soon). They grow up without food.
Note that in Singapore there isn't a real minimum wage. Domestic helpers are imported from Indonesia and Philippines, and they earn $400 a month. That is about 300 of your american dollars. Yet most of them have like... 6-10 kids is the norm.
and they are very young too. Some are just 18, less legal ones can get 15+ elsewhere (not in SG tho). No doubt their kids will continue the cycle of poverty.
 
God's word has something which applies to everything in life. The Scriptures are sufficient for EVERY problem we have. Just because God doesn't use the term "Contraceptives" doesn't mean there isn't something which applies or relates to the issue.

I probably shouldn't be jumping into this issue headfirst, as I am only 17 and am definately not the wisest person around, however it bothers me when someone says God doesn't say anything on an issue. The only thing that comes to my mind on this topic is Genesis 1:28; "God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground." In my mind, that pretty much says God wants us to have children. Otherwise he'd say something like "Be fruitful, but only sometimes, and increase to a certain number." But I don't see that anywhere in the Bible.

As for the world being overpopulated... There is quite a bit of extra space... that's an evolutionist lie used to say we should kill the weak and have abortions. Food would not be an issue if we simply had more people farming. The problem is that not many people want to work for their food. They simply want it coming in easy from McDonalds and Grocery stores (please note, I'm not saying either one of those is wrong, just using it as an example for those who don't want to farm.)
 
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Guilo Tal said:
God's word has something which applies to everything in life. The Scriptures are sufficient for EVERY problem we have. Just because God doesn't use the term "Contraceptives" doesn't mean there isn't something which applies or relates to the issue.

I probably shouldn't be jumping into this issue headfirst, as I am only 17 and am definately not the wisest person around, however it bothers me when someone says God doesn't say anything on an issue. The only thing that comes to my mind on this topic is Genesis 1:28; "God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground." In my mind, that pretty much says God wants us to have children. Otherwise he'd say something like "Be fruitful, but only sometimes, and increase to a certain number." But I don't see that anywhere in the Bible.
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Do you tell barren women that they are disobeying the will of God? What if bearing a child will endanger the mother's life? What if the parents can't afford another child? How about adoption?

The point being, we should not be legalistic about this. Children are a blessing from God, but that doesn't mean we have as many children as we possibly can out of some sort of obligation. If we do, it presents a twisted view of our God to the world.
 
Patriot said:
Do you tell barren women that they are disobeying the will of God? What if bearing a child will endanger the mother's life? What if the parents can't afford another child? How about adoption?

The point being, we should not be legalistic about this. Children are a blessing from God, but that doesn't mean we have as many children as we possibly can out of some sort of obligation. If we do, it presents a twisted view of our God to the world.
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God controls the womb. How could I say barren women are disobeying the will of God?

In the case of a woman who could die from bearing children, I would be very careful of the type of contraception used, as the methods which kill the fertilized egg are hidden methods of abortion.

For not being able to afford another child, what does being able to afford a child mean? It can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Does being able to support the child and be able to afford your 2nd car, a WoW subscription, and go bowling every Saturday? In America our standards of living are quite high on average. Children are an asset, not a liability.

For adoption, that's an argument for my side of the issue. If there are parents who really can't afford to raise the child, they can adopt it out to a good Christian family who can.
 
Guilo Tal said:
...As for the world being overpopulated... There is quite a bit of extra space... that's an evolutionist lie used to say we should kill the weak and have abortions. Food would not be an issue if we simply had more people farming. The problem is that not many people want to work for their food. They simply want it coming in easy from McDonalds and Grocery stores (please note, I'm not saying either one of those is wrong, just using it as an example for those who don't want to farm.)
Click to expand...

Ok Kutluch, I'm gonna be nice. :) Much of the above statement was very oversimplified.

Regarding the world being overpopulated, there are only a few regions of the world that are growing in population (India, China (China looks as though their population is going to start leveling off in the next 50 years) and a few other 3rd world areas in the world). For the most part, established nations have a stable or shrinking population. Many European nations haven't seen population growth in decades. Japan's elderly population (people over 65) is much larger than its child population. The US is beginning to level off as well.

As for your evolutionist lies bit, I am not sure I know of any evolutionists who think abortions are equatable to survival of the fittest. I personally believe in some form of evolution and sure, we do have survival of the fittest, but our brains (whether you want to argue whether they were given to us directly from God or it was God who helped us develop them) have helped us survive all of the epidemics we have faced thus far (we are still here, aren't we?).

As for growing your own food, many people cannot (and I assume you include US citizens in there when you say "everyone") afford the time or the money to grow their own food. Growing your own food requires an absurdly large investment in the beginning and it is something that you cannot be slack with. This investment includes seeds, farming tools and supplies, knowledge and most importantly... LAND! Your little hobby garden in the backyard will not support an entire family. After my Grandfather retired years ago, he started his own garden and was able to feed himself and my Grandmother off of it... but it was nearly 1.5 acres large! Most house plots aren't that large. It requires load of effort to start and massive amounts of time and dedication to keep going. Feeding yourself and the rest of your family from your own garden requires a kind of energy and dedication (there are better words that I can't think of) that the U.S. mentality doesn't support (meaning you cannot grow your own food and operate like a "normal" American family).


Guilo Tal said:
God controls the womb. How could I say barren women are disobeying the will of God?
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Could you elaborate upon that? Saying God is in control is a bit of a cop-out answer.

Guilo Tal said:
In the case of a woman who could die from bearing children, I would be very careful of the type of contraception used, as the methods which kill the fertilized egg are hidden methods of abortion.
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An abortion is an abortion is an abortion. The only variable that makes one abortion more acceptable than another is circumstance.

Guilo Tal said:
For not being able to afford another child, what does being able to afford a child mean? It can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Does being able to support the child and be able to afford your 2nd car, a WoW subscription, and go bowling every Saturday? In America our standards of living are quite high on average. Children are an asset, not a liability.

For adoption, that's an argument for my side of the issue. If there are parents who really can't afford to raise the child, they can adopt it out to a good Christian family who can.
Click to expand...

I don't think that God wants us to have to spend all of our money on our kids. That's like living paycheck to paycheck, which sucks... trust me. I think God wants us to have as many kids as we can possibly handle and still give them a good quality life and set them up to succeed. If you have 10 children, then you must divide up your time with them 10 different ways, versus if you only had 2 or 3 children. Just think of Jon and Kate + 8 (or whatever it's called now).

As for adoption, it isn't viable for some people. You can't just wake up and decide you want to adopt a child. It costs LOADS of money (which I think people forget sometimes). There is a couple at my mother's church who are raising money so that they can adopt a child of their own (they cannot have babies). They need $30,000 for the adoption fees. It can be more depending on where you live as well. It isn't cheap.
 
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