Need advice

what directions are available?

also...

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K. I'll give it a little reset. You can read previous entries to find out what attractions are in which areas.

You are currently on the deck.

In front of you is the house (dining room).
Beyond that are the basement stairs.
To your right is the driveway.
Behind you is the backyard.

=============================================
CHARACTER SCREEN:
You are wielding [Pink Spiky Shield].
You are wielding [Can of Hairspray].
You are wearing [Gym Shorts].
You are wearing [Black Winter Hat].
You are wearing [Tacky Tie].
You are wearing [Safety Goggles].
You are wearing [Wedding Ring].
You are wearing [Light Backpack] (7 slots filled/10 available).

Your health is at 95%
Your energy is at 65%
You are Intimidating.

INVENTORY:
You have two (2) [Plastic Coat Hanger].
You have one (1) [Ink Pen].
You have one (1) [Bottle of Urine].
You have one (1) [Tube of Toothpaste].
You have two (2) [Toothbrush].
You have one (1) [Nail Nippers].
You have one (1) [Barbed Bat].

=============================================

>
 
>Unequip Can of Hairspray
>Equip Barbed Bat
>Enter House (Dining Room) and survey

You look at the [Can of Hairspray] in your hand.

Really?

This is supposed to protect you?

Maybe if you had a lighter to go with it...

You decide that your [Barbed Bat] is better protection for now.

Unimpressed with the contents of the deck, you enter the dining room through the rear sliding door. You survey the room.

Oh - right. This room is still destroyed. Various pieces of wooden table and chairs and drywall litter the floor.

Ahead of you is the staircase to the basement.
To your left is the hallway.
Behind you is the deck and backyard.

>
 
>enter yonder hallway

You pick your way carefully across the Dining Room, your bare feet announcing every piece of wreckage between yourself and the Hallway. You try dodging them as best you can, but wooden splinters are tough to see on a hardwood floor.

You are back in the Hallway again. It is bare save for a smoke alarm, doorbell chime, thermostat, and overhead light fixture.

A single spider mocks you from the corner overhead, just out of reach.

A myriad of options lays before you!

To your left is the bathroom.
Ahead of you is the office.
To your right is the living room.
Behind you lies what is left of the dining room.

>
 
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>Quickly swap back to hairspray and shoot spider. No one mocks me!
>Enter Office (after incident above plays out, if possible)
 
>Quickly swap back to hairspray and shoot spider. No one mocks me!
>Enter Office (after incident above plays out, if possible)

You look around you, assessing your choices. Feeling that you have thoroughly investigated the bathroom, you elect to go back into the office (soon-to-be-fortress). You start to step toward the office when suddenly you look back up at the spider above you.

You could have swore it moved. You watch it for a few seconds... completely still. You look away, ready to head back into the office. The very second you do, the spider starts inching closer again. Or did it? If it is moving, the second you look back it stops. It is indeed a small but brave spider. If you were both WoW characters, you would be a ?? to him, and he would be gray to you. There is no doubt as to the outcome of any battle that might ensue. You cannot think what this spider may want with you. You prepare yourself, just in case this spider might have something up it's sleeve.

Against a small single target, your melee weapon would be very cumbersome. You elect to use some AOE, seeing as how your hit rating isn't quite what it should be. You grab your can of hairspray, and slowly back your way away from the spider and toward the office door.

The spider lunges.

Even though you are familiar with jumping spiders, you are never quite prepared for when they actually do it. You recoil and stumble backwards, attempting to block the spider with your [Pink Spiky Shield] while tripping over something just inside the office doorway. You had no idea the spider had an effective fear ability. You let loose with the hairspray.

As you fall backwards, emitting hairspray in every direction, you strike the back of your head on the corner of the desk. You drop your [Pink Spiky Shield] and [Can of Hairspray]. You land at the foot of the desk, and black out.






...








...








You open your eyes. Or at least you thought you did. You close them and open them again. No difference. Eyes open, you wave your hand in front of your face. Nothing.

>
 
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>Search for nearest light switch in case your fall accidentally turned them off. If that fails to produce light...attempt to wipe eyes/face to remove anything blocking vision.
 
>Search for nearest light switch in case your fall accidentally turned them off. If that fails to produce light...attempt to wipe eyes/face to remove anything blocking vision.

You slowly sit up and immediately realize it was a bad idea.

You slump back down.

Your head is pounding.

And you taste hair spray in your mouth.

You try again, with more success this time. You decide to give sitting a few minutes before attempting to stand. You reach out with your hand and feel the edge of the desk. Ok, good - at least you're still in the office. You feel around the edge of the desk to the wall, then to where the light switch should be. You flip the switch, and you are simultaneously blessed and cursed with an onslaught of light (Stupid 60 watt bulbs - should have gone with 40s). This confirms you are not blind, but amplifies your headache. You put a hand over your eyes, but not before catching a glimpse of your [Pink Spiky Shield], your [Can of Hairspray], and a little puddle of blood all on the floor next to the desk.

Apparently the exterior house light (which was dimly illuminating the rooms on the back side of the house - Dining Room, Bathroom, and Office) had gone out. All other lights in the house are off.

You slowly remove your hand from your face, allowing your eyes ample time to catch up. You assess the situation.

The spider you jumped from is sitting on your [Pink Spiky Shield], rendering it inaccessible.

Your [Can of Hairspray] lies a little further away, unadulterated by the spider. You quickly pick it up, before he has a chance to jump again.

The spider remains still.

You stand there, defenseless, looking at the spider.

The spider is resolute in his inactivity.

This goes on for several minutes. The spider does not appear inclined to move.

>
 
>Use [Plastic Coat Hanger] to coax said spider off [Pink Spiky Shield]. Keep [Can of Hairspray] ready in offhand in case of 2nd attack.
 
>Use [Plastic Coat Hanger] to coax said spider off [Pink Spiky Shield]. Keep [Can of Hairspray] ready in offhand in case of 2nd attack.

((I've decided to incorporate item color qualities for some extra fun. Since white wouldn't show up - items left in black are considered white quality items.))

Keeping your eye firmly fixed on the spider, as though it were a wild animal, you slowly reach into your pack. You pull out one of your [Plastic Coat Hanger]s. Wielding it like a boomerang, you prepare to throw. As you slowly raise your arm, careful not to make any sudden movements, your finger tightens around the nozzle of the hairspray.

You throw.

Much like a boomerang, the hanger flies across the room, end over end, hurtling towards it's target. Or...a little high of it's target. Dang. Much unlike a boomerang, the hanger falls into the corner of the room, showing absolutely no interest in returning to you.

Through all of this, the spider remains unmoving.

You take out your second [Plastic Coat Hanger]. Taking no chances this time, you slowly approach your foe. You now understand why some cans of bug spray brag about how they can shoot up to 20 feet. Your [Can of Hairspray] seems to have a range of about 9 inches.

Getting braver with each step, you finally approach the spider-laden shield. The spider still remains motionless. You duck down, extending your hanger-wielding arm as far as it will go and gently nudge the spider with the tip of the hanger. The spider appears to recoil from the hanger, but his feet remain planted. Of course! The hairspray! It must have gotten on the back of your shield when you were spraying it every which way. You don't know how long you were knocked out, but it was enough time for the hairspray to form a bond on the spider's legs while he sat on your shield, gloating over his victory. You spray him with hairspray for a good 30 seconds to reinforce the bond, then wait a few minutes for both the spray to set and to recover a bit more from your fall.

You touch the back of your head. The blood seems to be clotting and you do not feel that you need stitches.

Having waited long enough, you take up your shield again, and stand in the office, fully equipped.

You lose item [Can of Hairspray].
You receive item [Empty Can of Hairspray].
You receive item [Spiked Shield of the Spider]!


=============================================
CHARACTER SCREEN:

You are wielding [Spiked Shield of the Spider].
You are wielding [Empty Can of Hairspray].
You are wearing [Gym Shorts].
You are wearing [Black Winter Hat].
You are wearing [Tacky Tie].
You are wearing [Safety Goggles].
You are wearing [Wedding Ring].
You are wearing [Light Backpack] (7 slots filled/10 available).

Your health is at 95%
Your energy is at 65%
You are Intimidating.

INVENTORY:
You have two (1) [Plastic Coat Hanger].
You have one (1) [Ink Pen].
You have one (1) [Bottle of Urine].
You have one (1) [Tube of Toothpaste].
You have two (2) [Toothbrush].
You have one (1) [Nail Nippers].
You have one (1) [Barbed Bat].

=============================================

>
 
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((I've decided to incorporate item color qualities for some extra fun. Since white wouldn't show up - items left in black are considered white quality items.))>

Oh crap you shouldn't have done that...now I'm going to be hellbent on trying to get that shield to purple, and your house will be overturned (and quite possible the street) until the legendary piece is mine!

>Survey the rest of the office
 
>Survey the rest of the office

Recalling your earlier visit to the office, you remember finding in the closet several dusty old college books, a toolbox, and a file cabinet. In the toolbox is a hammer, pliers, wire cutters, a half a tube of gorilla glue, and a wrench.

The room is now well-lit and also opens additional possibilities. In addition to the previously discovered pile of stuff on the floor, bookcase, closet, and your computer, you also see a ceiling fan, a Tupperware storage container that you can't quite see through, a mini shop-vac, a paper shredder and a trash can.

The light reveals the "pile of stuff" to actually be a pile of clothes. The jury is out on whether they are clean or not.

>
 
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