Lies

[Master~Plan]

Is it ok or acceptable to tell your childeren there is a huge man that gives them presents every year? Or is it ok to tell your children that there is a rabbit that lays colored eggs? And the tooth fairy? I'm talking as early as 2 year olds, 3 year olds. Does it matter what you tell them?

I think parent's integrity is a litte hurt by things posed as bieng harmless. I am very glad that my parents told me right away that these things are made up when friends told me about them, and I will never tell my kids such stories.(but then, I really don't have to worry about kids any time soon....)

 

[Dark Virtue]

Is it ok or acceptable to tell your childeren there is a huge man that gives them presents every year? Or is it ok to tell your children that there is a rabbit that lays colored eggs? And the tooth fairy? I'm talking as early as 2 year olds, 3 year olds. Does it matter what you tell them?

I think parent's integrity is a litte hurt by things posed as bieng harmless. I am very glad that my parents told me right away that these things are made up when friends told me about them, and I will never tell my kids such stories.(but then, I really don't have to worry about kids any time soon....)

My one regret is that I can't vote for more than one poll choice

A lie is a lie. And any parent that teaches their children about Santa and the Easter bunny is a hypocrite.

Seriously, what is one of THE most important tenets parents teach their children? DO NOT LIE. Oh, but, uh, sorry, I was only kidding about Santa.

 

[Avesther]

The fabled "Camm" option of the ToJ:WoW forum polls have made it into polls everywhere. I voted the Camm option.

 

[Icthus]

As a parent who has chosen not to tell my kids about any of these "faries" there is no real option for me. I do not tell my kids about any of the above. However, my wife does do some and the grandparents do as well. For me, I have made the choice to not lie to them in this manner. However, I do not demand others to do as I do.

What I do, is talk about the man Saint Nicholas. He was a real person and did real acts of charity.

My reasons are very personal, I remember excatly when I found out these "faries" were not real. I was crushed and disappointed in my parents. I was only 5 at the time. I had two older siblings. I do not want my kids to have to deal with that crushing moment.

I do fully realize they will have another time of massive disappointment in me. I mean, I am their Dad. It is bound to happen.

 

[ChickenSoup]

Um... man, that's kinda hard. Until now I never considered that to be lies, although for quite some time I knew it wasn't true I never considered the lying part...


I don't get the option about DV...

MUFFIN MAN TEH PWNZ!

 

[Wh1te Out]

Seven people (58.33 % at this point) think it is wrong to let your kids believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny? I don't believe that. It's interesting that there are no responses here from the people who supposedly voted that way.

First of all, when you have kids of your own you begin to think differently. All you want is for your children to experience joy and see a smile on their face. I don't know anyone who was traumatized by finding out that these created characters were not real. It's fun for them and it's fun for parents. I don't think it hurts a parent's integrity in the least.

 

[Icthus]

First of all, when you have kids of your own you begin to think differently. All you want is for your children to experience joy and see a smile on their face. I don't know anyone who was traumatized by finding out that these created characters were not real. It's fun for them and it's fun for parents. I don't think it hurts a parent's integrity in the least.

Well, I have two kids and you pretty much did not read my post...

My reasons are very personal, I remember excatly when I found out these "faries" were not real. I was crushed and disappointed in my parents. I was only 5 at the time. I had two older siblings. I do not want my kids to have to deal with that crushing moment.

 

[michaelpi]

i would just tell them my parents keeped trying to say saint nick was real and gave me stuff i wich they just said it was them (ha when i was 9,10 i found all the stuff saint nick gave me in the attick)

 

[Master~Plan]

I voted the Camm option.

lost me

For me, I have made the choice to not lie to them in this manner.

kudos

First of all, when you have kids of your own you begin to think differently. All you want is for your children to experience joy and see a smile on their face. I don't know anyone who was traumatized by finding out that these created characters were not real. It's fun for them and it's fun for parents. I don't think it hurts a parent's integrity in the least.

I know your right about the think differently part when I have kids of my own. I still don't see myself telling my kids made up stories.

I don't know anyone who is traumatized either. What I see is that when kids find out these characters are not real, they think something to the extent of: "oh mom and pop just made it up to make me happy".
The question I have is when they start to branch away and experience things for themselves will they say something like:
"Did mom and pop just make up God to keep me out of trouble?"

 

[Kidan]

As a parent, I am a firm believer that my son will know that santa is not real. There will be no extra presents for my son from 'santa', everthing he gets will be labeled from mom and dad. Yes I love seeing my son smile, but he does not needs gifts from some random stranger to smile. Yes, I want my son to experience joy, but he does not need to believe lies and half-truths to experience joy.

Think about it this way:

• I tell my son that there's a fatman that comes to our house, once a year to give us good things if my son is a good boy. He cannot see this man, nor touch him. But I tell him that he's real.
  
• I tell my son that there's a rabbit that wanders around hiding eggs for the good kids to find once a year. He cannot see this rabbit, nor touch him, but I tell him that he's real.
  
• I tell my son about a fairy that leaves money under his pillow in exchange for his teeth. He cannot see this fairy, nor touch her, but I tell him that she's real.
  
• I tell my son about a carpenter who died for his sins. He cannot see this carpenter nor touch him, but I tell him that He is real.

A few years later, my son finds out that the fat man is not real, regardless that Daddy said he was real.

Next, my son finds out that the egg hiding rabbit is not real, regardless that Daddy said he was real.

Then my son finds out that it was Daddy switching out teeth for cash, there was never a fairy doing it, regardless that Daddy said she was real.

What is my son to believe about that carpenter? Daddy said He was real...

 

[Wirl]

I'm a Dad of three, and I've learned that letting the kids believe in Santa Claus helps teach children about faith.
ALSO! There is a real Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus --> My wife and I!!!
Also, there was a historical figure of Santa that you can teach your children about, and let them know the stories that are told about him.
I do say no to the Easter Bunny (furry bugger).
I was not traumatized either by the revelation of "no Santa," and I was actually older than most when I was told. It's no big deal, and as long as you keep the focus of Christmas on CHRIST, then Santa will always take back seat everytime.
WOOT FOR CHRIST!!!

 

[Thaddius]

This is a battle that has been waged in my house since my kids were born. (oldest is 6)

I'm in pretty much the same boat as Icthus. My response is mirrored in his.

Cory

 

[Master~Plan]

I'm a Dad of three, and I've learned that letting the kids believe in Santa Claus helps teach children about faith.

thats an interesting thing to say. what do you teach about faith?

 

[ChickenSoup]

ALSO! There is a real Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus --> My wife and I!!!

Can I have your autograph then?? lol

 

[Dark Virtue]

I'm a Dad of three, and I've learned that letting the kids believe in Santa Claus helps teach children about faith.
ALSO! There is a real Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus --> My wife and I!!!
Also, there was a historical figure of Santa that you can teach your children about, and let them know the stories that are told about him.
I do say no to the Easter Bunny (furry bugger).
I was not traumatized either by the revelation of "no Santa," and I was actually older than most when I was told. It's no big deal, and as long as you keep the focus of Christmas on CHRIST, then Santa will always take back seat everytime.
WOOT FOR CHRIST!!!

I'd also like to know how this teaches faith.

"Hey Kids, Santa is real!"

"Sorry Kids, I was just lying...err, kidding about Santa."

"Hey Kids, God is real!"

...I'll let you fill in the rest.

 

[PapaToad]

My reasoning was quite different, At the Time I came home in 95’ I had been a soldier for a long time, I took my oldest son and youngest daughter due to challenges they had with their Mother and challenges she was facing at the time. I told them when we moved in to our new home together, my son was 6 my daughter was 4.

I told them simply, Your dad has been a soldier for a long time (7 years with the CAV) I said; “I know nothing about being a dad or a father”, but I do know how to be a decent Person and I can teach you this. I will never lie to you or desert you, and we will all ways be a family.

I also told them I will never touch, spank or hit you unless, you do one of to things (1) Steal from me ( I have always been told and brought to believe you never steal from family or mates) (Stealing is wrong enough but from loved ones was heinous.) and never to lie to me. My ex was a horrible lair and that situation scared me for life. I hate lies and deceit with a passion that borders on fanatical. I believe the only good secret is birthdays, surprises and presents. With those two things in mind, we’ll also work things out peacefully. And to this day I have never had to ask my children more than twice if they we’re lying. Thought I can usually tell cuz If I feel I have to ask a 2nd time I ask they are beyond a arms length away, LOL

I was fortunate, out of 4 children only my daughter (youngest) asked me about Santa (Their mother was big on that for whatever reason) and My youngest came to me and asked me is he real, and I had to say , NO. Which she was very mad about, being lied to believing it was true when it wasn’t. But to this day when she hears things she will call me or ask me about them. And If I do not know we will actually look into it together. (That’s kind fun )

It made me sad to have to tell her, but I did give my word never to lie to them. (This has been a sticky spot form time to time.) as you have to word things right and I had to explain my reputation and later carefully talk about my marriage to their mother which was very bitter. (So I did not let my feelings drain on to the children for things they needn’t know about ( But I did answer truthfully or explained I would tell them when They were old enough to understand) or look Like I was bashing her which was hard from time to time, but doable.)

But I never regretted not telling the truth. I find I can remember things easier if I tell the truth. So I do not know whether its acceptable to some people, But it wasn’t for us. And it has served us well even when you really do not want to hear the truth!

So from Santa clause; to their mothers challenges with alcohol; to how not so nice their mother and I treated each other, I have been honest and still have wonderful relationships with all my children and they still maintain decent relationships with their mother which is good.


All children need are Mothers and Fathers and loving families and honesty.

 

[Eon]

Because you believe in the man and you get the presents.

While you're not telling them any lies about Christmas, can you tell them that the holiday was stolen from Pagan's and that 9 out of 10 of the "Traditional" things to do with it come from the Yule celebration. Not lying is different to telling the truth.

I can't remember who it was who listed the big list of fictitious things and stuck Jesus on the end. Well, you know, it's not the non-believers fault that the progression is there. The point I have to make for you is that if exercising your intellect and discovering the non-existence of Father Christmas, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy is fine and easy, then why the issues with Jesus?

What you've said is like saying that you don't want your kids to exercise any independent thought on the matter at all, and that you think YOUR word should be the deciding factor in THEIR belief. That, my friend, is no religion - it's a cult of personality.

 

[Kidan]

While you're not telling them any lies about Christmas, can you tell them that the holiday was stolen from Pagan's and that 9 out of 10 of the "Traditional" things to do with it come from the Yule celebration. Not lying is different to telling the truth.

Yes, I would tell them that most of the Christian holidays are stolen from pagan beleifs and practices. Not a problem there.

I can't remember who it was who listed the big list of fictitious things and stuck Jesus on the end. Well, you know, it's not the non-believers fault that the progression is there. The point I have to make for you is that if exercising your intellect and discovering the non-existence of Father Christmas, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy is fine and easy, then why the issues with Jesus?

What you've said is like saying that you don't want your kids to exercise any independent thought on the matter at all, and that you think YOUR word should be the deciding factor in THEIR belief. That, my friend, is no religion - it's a cult of personality.

I never said it was the non-believer's fault that the progression is there. My point is that I want to be a credible witness to my children. I lose that credibilty when I lie to my children about the others. It's not that I want them to assume that my words should be a deciding factor is that I don't want them to make the assumption that since I lied to them about the others, that I must have been lying about Christ.





But regardless, let us look at Biblical evidence that we should not lie to our children.

Colossians 3:9 "Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;"

Straightforward and plain.

 

[Dark Virtue]

My reasoning was quite different, At the Time I came home in 95’ I had been a soldier for a long time, I took my oldest son and youngest daughter due to challenges they had with their Mother and challenges she was facing at the time. I told them when we moved in to our new home together, my son was 6 my daughter was 4.

I told them simply, Your dad has been a soldier for a long time (7 years with the CAV) I said; “I know nothing about being a dad or a father”, but I do know how to be a decent Person and I can teach you this. I will never lie to you or desert you, and we will all ways be a family.

I also told them I will never touch, spank or hit you unless, you do one of to things (1) Steal from me ( I have always been told and brought to believe you never steal from family or mates) (Stealing is wrong enough but from loved ones was heinous.) and never to lie to me. My ex was a horrible lair and that situation scared me for life. I hate lies and deceit with a passion that borders on fanatical. I believe the only good secret is birthdays, surprises and presents. With those two things in mind, we’ll also work things out peacefully. And to this day I have never had to ask my children more than twice if they we’re lying. Thought I can usually tell cuz If I feel I have to ask a 2nd time I ask they are beyond a arms length away, LOL

I was fortunate, out of 4 children only my daughter (youngest) asked me about Santa (Their mother was big on that for whatever reason) and My youngest came to me and asked me is he real, and I had to say , NO. Which she was very mad about, being lied to believing it was true when it wasn’t. But to this day when she hears things she will call me or ask me about them. And If I do not know we will actually look into it together. (That’s kind fun )

It made me sad to have to tell her, but I did give my word never to lie to them. (This has been a sticky spot form time to time.) as you have to word things right and I had to explain my reputation and later carefully talk about my marriage to their mother which was very bitter. (So I did not let my feelings drain on to the children for things they needn’t know about ( But I did answer truthfully or explained I would tell them when They were old enough to understand) or look Like I was bashing her which was hard from time to time, but doable.)

But I never regretted not telling the truth. I find I can remember things easier if I tell the truth. So I do not know whether its acceptable to some people, But it wasn’t for us. And it has served us well even when you really do not want to hear the truth!

So from Santa clause; to their mothers challenges with alcohol; to how not so nice their mother and I treated each other, I have been honest and still have wonderful relationships with all my children and they still maintain decent relationships with their mother which is good.


All children need are Mothers and Fathers and loving families and honesty.

Now THAT is a father.

My hat's off to you sir.

 

[Dark Virtue]

Because you believe in the man and you get the presents.

While you're not telling them any lies about Christmas, can you tell them that the holiday was stolen from Pagan's and that 9 out of 10 of the "Traditional" things to do with it come from the Yule celebration. Not lying is different to telling the truth.

I can't remember who it was who listed the big list of fictitious things and stuck Jesus on the end. Well, you know, it's not the non-believers fault that the progression is there. The point I have to make for you is that if exercising your intellect and discovering the non-existence of Father Christmas, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy is fine and easy, then why the issues with Jesus?

What you've said is like saying that you don't want your kids to exercise any independent thought on the matter at all, and that you think YOUR word should be the deciding factor in THEIR belief. That, my friend, is no religion - it's a cult of personality.

I do believe it's time for my yearly Christmas thread