In the Words of a Gerbil...

/as sung to "Do you want to build a Snowman" ahem, ahem, clears throat

Do you want to fill a server?
Come on let's go play.
I never kill you anymore.
Come out the spawn
It's like you've gone afk...
We used to top the scoreboard
and now we're scrubs
I wish you would wear a hat!
Do you want to fill a server?


Honestly I don't like the movie but any meme in a storm is fair game for spam :p .
 
Overwatch? more like Underwhelming!
Counter Strike? more like 3 Strikes you're out!
Set your TF2 boredom to pause and plant both hands aside your cheeks, the ones on your face please, in shock and awe for tonight
the stars have aligned and we play a new Gerbil map! Forged in obscurity, and laziness, this stunning jewel of a map may not even play
but not knowing if it will is part of the excitement, remember it's not a bug it's a feature! Cross your fingers, toes and eyes, even be
cross with Gerbil for using you as test subjects because tonight the rodent makes you run the maze!

Additional "!" added here for emphasis and tax purposes.

I think I used this spam but I'm not totally certain because I can't remember which map went with it. The world may never know or the Gerbil may never remember XD .
 
NEWS FLASH!

Hat related fatalities are on the rise.
9 out of ten hat wearers have been hit by explosives, burned, stabbed or bludgeoned to death.
Are you prepared for the immanent hat-pocalypse?

If not TOJ TF2 game night has the training you need. Join now and learn...

Ghetto hat reversal, for the toughest neighborhoods.

The private eye hat toss, hang your hat like "Bogie" and no one will mess with you.

How to makeshift a Rambo bandana out of common household items. Turn that toilet paper into TERROR!

Join now and we'll throw in professional m'lady fedora tipping and never sprain your wrist again.

Act soon Toj TF2 game night is going fast!
 
When Gerbils run amok free of their cages, women go Bananas, and an inanimate Box of Noodles seeks a commission in the army you know it's that time again!

Time to throw out those leftovers you've been eating?

Probably, but it's also Toj TF2 Game Night! Join now for all the fun of hallucinating but none of the side effects!

Again I The Mighty Gerbil, Banana Girl and Box of Noodles are all regular players on our server. Box of Noodles changed his name to Captain Noodles hence the commission part.
 
Hats... Hats never change.
Since the dawn of time when man's looked up at the blistering sun and cried out aloud "IT'S HOT!" he's looked for random objects to place atop his sun baked noggin. Time progressed and stone Stetsons were replaced with bark bonnets and floral fedoras. Hat technology advanced but with it came the awful specter of war. Hat related resources became exhausted. Armies battled over brims and vied over visors. The hat-ocalypse seemed all but inevitable but at that moment... TF2 was released! No longer do you need to bean your neighbor for his bowler now you can fight over hats that don't even exist! Play now and save a tree from becoming a hat or something.

(The aforementioned has been an excerpt from the Gabe Newell's notes on the backstory of Team Fortress 3)

For tree saving purposes conveniently timed Toj TF2 game night begins now.

It's a parody of this...
 
Old methods of "trick" and or "treating" are ineffective. Modernize your outdated candy stalking tendencies right now with Toj TF2 game night. Why pretend to be an invisible ghost when you can be invisible and make ghosts as a scary spy man. Free candy is great until you get a stomach ache instead enjoy a sweet, sweet, pub stomp. Show up at your neighbor's spawn with a friendly rocket launcher, nothing says "trick" better. Finally in these days of CSI what costume could be more effective at concealing your identity than the anonymity of the internet, millions of trolls pretending to be people can't be wrong. Toj TF2 Game Night the most horrific night ever!... um wait that's not quite right.

Written for Halloween 2017
 
What is Toj TF2 Game Night really?
Is it a game?
Is it a night?
Is it kind of gamey but sweet at the same time with a sleepy aftertaste?
Is the sound of one hand clapping anything like a Hot Hand Pyro?

Come, join us and ponder these deep thoughts... it will give me time to back stab you while you are distracted.
 
/sings

What does the Gerbil say?
Te, Te, Te, Te, Te, Te, Te, Te, Te, Te, Te, Te, Te,
Te F 2 Night.

Toj TF2 night where all your memes come true and yet we still aren't owned by Disney.

Because this ridiculous thing didn't get enough play already...


It occurs to me now I could have done a lot more with this but sometimes you are pressed for time. A parody of a parody is kinda easy too.
 
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Bloated with all that Turkey fat from Thanksgiving?
Physical workouts too hard?
Than sweat off the inches with intense mental exercises in the pulse pounding FPS of it's day TF2!

Toj TF2 game night teaching you no one will notice your gut if your hat is distracting enough.

You guessed it released around 4th of July :p ...but really Thanksgiving 2017.
 
Ocean Voyages travels 3 miles an hour every day all day.
Transcontinental Flights travels 33 miles an hour every day but only between 8:30-11:30 pm.
Which one would be faster making a voyage of 198 miles and how long would it take them.

The solution is: "TF, 2 nights" the answer to all your problems! Toj TF2 starts now, join if desired, scary math not included.
 
Christmas season got you down?
Alone?
Freezing?
Shopping too hectic?
Christmas too commercialized?

Well kick off those frost covered shoes and warm up with a cup of festive frenzy as you channel those frustrations into decking the halls with your opponents! Toj TF2 game night starts now!


...but on a serious note Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday Jesus :) .

Yup it's Christmas season 2017
 
Festive frenzy ho! Snow, snow, SNOOOW! Maps tonight that is on Toj TF2 game night! Merry Christmas to all!

Snooow reference...
 
"Twas the night AFTER Christmas and all through the house
Not a player was spawning, not even a "mighty" mouse;
The idlers were in spawn with care,
In hopes that a hat drop would soon be there;

Children were online not in their beds,
As the latest memes popped out their heads;
And Ma with her Ipad and Dad with his lap,
both cruised the internet for the latest app,

When on my desktop there arose such a clatter,
I stopped my cat video to see what was the matter.
Away closed the window to open TF2,
Later I'd finish the e-mails I was half through.

When, to my tired eyes a message appeared,
Toj TF2 game night draws near!"
 
/sings the following to "A Whole New World"

I can show you new maps
Glitchy, buggy un-textured
Tell me, player, now when did
you last let your mouse decide!

You can open your browser
Hop from server to server
Online, offline and further
On a magic custom ride

Some whole new maps
Some fantastic carnage too
No Valve to tell us no
Or what to load
Or say we're un-fair teaming

Some whole new maps
Lost in places I never knew
But when it's 8:30 here
It's crystal clear
That now I'm going to play some whole new maps with you

Toj TF2 game night begins again!

For reference...
 
/old man Walter Brennan voice

Now gather round all ya young whipper snappers and quit all ya horse flappin I'ma gonna tell you about a time fore' all ya Flitters and Youpipes. Back when games were men and men play'em like they're meant to be played with hats and explosives. None of that there quickjoins or autoplays dagnabit. All we had was a lasso and ya had to catch all the bandwidths with it. None of that there console auto aims either. Ya just pointed a rocket launcher at your feet and spit with the wind. I figure if ya'll can man up we can have a few of them games like back in the day out on this here Toj TF2 game night, less ya'll be too yeller fer it.

If you don't know who Walter Brennan is...
en.wikipedia.org

Walter Brennan - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org en.wikipedia.org
Random clip...
 
Good evening Sir or Madam are you hungry for victory? Would you like to partake in some of the finest epicurean Sandvich delights? Is vengeance a dish best served cold or do you prefer it with high explosives? Ready to dine and whine about hit detection? Very good then, might I suggest you begin with forcing players to eat a rocket followed up with some Pyro flambe and finish by spreading some sweet, sweet carnage with a knife? I believe we are just starting to serve some hot butt kicks right now on Toj TF2 game night. I'd recommend joining while they're still fresh, because no one likes a stale butt kick.
 
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