Need help and prayer (WARNING: intense)

Cry out

*cries*
*cries some more*
There has to be more to life than this... My marrige is falling apart and I seem to be the only one that sees it. I spent twenty minutes today trying to get my wife out of bed to get her to work and she said I wasn't helping her or not helping enough. I don't have energy to do much more and go to work each day. We had a big fight (again) where she blamed me and blamed me and I had to defend myself. I am going to talk to my pastor in about an hour because I am having a hard time with this. I called a therapist too to see if I could get in soon to talk. I have to call her doctor and let her doctor know what happened as well. I tell you this because I want you to see how much I have to keep telling the story and how it drains me. I am so distressed right now and I don't know what to do. I am going to pray now:

Triune God, I need you. I need you, I need you. Why do you appear so far away from me in my time of trouble? I know you are somewhere but the enemy has blinded me. Open the eyes of my heart Lord, I want to see you. Reach down from heaven and blanket us in love and peace- get us through this. I am trying so hard to praise you in this storm but I just am losing hope. But who am I to question you? I need you Lord, lift me up! You are the Ancient of Days, the Lion of Judah, the Prince of Peace, the Great I am. I know you have the power to change things... All I ask is to have peace in my heart. Thank you Lord. Amen
Jason
 
I am sorry for the anguish in your heart. I wish I could say magic words and make it all better. I cannot.

I can trust in the One who holds the future. He holds yours just as surely as He does mine.

We remember the past and live in the present. We cannot see the future. Almighty God sees all three and sees them simultaneously.

Perhaps there will come a time when you will look back on this situation with wonder at what God did. I know that is no comfort at all right now. You see, we don't question God's power, we question His purpose. We ask "why" when only He knows the answer.

Until the time that His purpose for the turmoil in your life is revealed, I encourage you to have faith. Trust God for the answer to your dilemna. So many times God does not take us out of a bad situation. Instead He gives us His strength to get through it.

Take encouragement from the words of Job:
13:15
Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him; I will surely defend my ways to his face.
13:16
Indeed, this will turn out for my deliverance, for no godless man would dare come before him!



I will lift your name up. I will do it now. I will be faithful to do it again.
 
Still praying for you. Please tell your wife we are praying for her too. I hope and pray that God moves in your lives and not only heals your wife and your relationship but that through it he many cause it to become stronger and that you may come to know him all the closer.
 
I just started reading the thread. I'm praying for you man. Any updates? We'd really like to hear how things are going.
 
I m still here

Hello all,
I am so sorry for my long absence from the boards and leaving you on a cliff hanger like that... Things were really rough there for a long time it seems like. I appreciate all the prayer you have been giving us. I have been getting better thanks to all the prayer and more able to handle my wife. I can't say she has gotten better but my attitude is changing which makes a world of difference. I will admit that I tried to take the easy way out and leave her, but she fought to keep me with all her heart- how can you say no to that? I am so thankful that God moved her to fight to keep me. We are slowly healing... better in some ways but still learning in most of it. We are going to a marrige counselor now, the hard thing is finding a time when we can go together. We have been talking about moving away from the city where everything is rush, rush, rush and to moving to Missouri with her grandfather in the country.
I can't quite say I know where God wants me to go. I was at church today asking about where they thought they could use me at vacation bible school and they asked me if I wanted to lead or co-lead the college group this summer... I was blown away. To think after all this time they want to give me a chance??? I don't know what is going to happen with that.
My wife and I went to see her grandfather (the one I mentioned above) and ever since we got back, I find my self NEEDING to be out in nature to talk with God. I go to a local park where I can get away from it all and just read and listen and stuff. I can't explain what it is like, but I just don't feel right without it and when I miss it, it is at the forefront of my mind. Today, I feel like the song by The Swift "I Need You."

My heart is restless in me
My wings are all worn out
I'm walking in the wilderness
And I cannot get out
I need You, Oh, I need You
Blessed Savior come
I need You, Oh, I need You
Fill the every longing in my soul

CHORUS
Oh, how I need You, Lord
I need Your perfect Word
With tearful eyes to see
The sin that I afford
I need to weep and pray
For all the thousand ways
That I have failed You just today

My bed is soaked with sadness
My sadness has no end
A downward spiral of despair
That I keep falling in
I need You, Oh, I need You
To You my soul shall fly
I need You, Oh, I need You
Yaweh, how I love You more than life

CHORUS

Your silence is like death to me
So won't You hear my desperate plea

Today my soul is soaring
Way over mountains high
Though I can see the valleys
They're all just passing by
It's not that I am stronger
Look at my feeble wings
But I've been lifted higher
Yaweh's lifted me in His own strength

Oh, how I love You, Lord
I love Your perfect Word
With tearful eyes to see
The God who always will endure
Now I will celebrate
For all the thousand ways
That You have shown me grace
And made my heart in grace to stay
You've made my heart in grace to stay
Lord, make my heart in grace to stay

I need You, Oh, I need You

The third verse or so, the one about be lifted by God is where I am at right now. I am not sure what else to say... Oh yeah. I say this with all the love and the care in the world- when someone is hurting real bad, please, don't say to them "Job had it worse" or "Buck up" or the like... I was really hurt by hearing this and has been in part a reason for my long absence. I know this was said with good intent and only had love behind it- just thought I'd let you know though.

Thank you all, I will let you know if things change either way.
Love ya

P.S. For all the guys out there... I reccommend reading "Wild at Heart"- if you need the info on it message me... It has changed me so much.
 
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